Saturday, March 06, 2010

How NOT to Ask Me Out - Part 4

Anjelika says, "If you're new to Naive London Girl you should subscribe to my RSS feed here, or have new content delivered directly to your inbox here. Follow my Twitter updates here. You should also subscribe to my sexy podcast here. And please vote for my podcast which has been nominated for Best Lifestyle Podcast here. If you have any questions? You can e-mail me here. Thanks!"


FROM: m
DATE: Fri, Mar 5, 2010 at 9:49 PM

SUBJECT: I'm fuck for free


I'M SO INTERESTED TO WHAT U HAVE 
SAID AT U'RE PROFIRE BECAUSE I USED 
TO FUCK FOR FREE WOMAN SO I
WANNA TO EXPERIENCE TONIGHT WITH 
U LET MEKNOW NOW SO THAT WE CAN 
HAVE FUN ALL 9T.
I'M REAALY WAIT U'RE ANSWER OR 
CALL ME BY 075074849XX

As if I would go out with someone with such a poor command of English.

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Tuesday, March 02, 2010

How NOT to Ask Me Out - Part 3

Anjelika says, "If you're new to Naive London Girl you should subscribe to my RSS feed here, or have new content delivered directly to your inbox here. Follow my Twitter updates here. You should also subscribe to my sexy podcast here. And please vote for my podcast which has been nominated for Best Lifestyle Podcast here. If you have any questions? You can e-mail me here. Thanks!"

FROM: m
TO: me@naivelondongirl.com
DATE: Tue, Mar 2, 2010 at 1:13 PM
SUBJECT: RE: I NEED U FOR SEX


HI
Are u available today for sex let me know please! whait to hear from u!
Thanks
-------------------------
Dear M,

No.

Warm regards,
Anjelika

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Monday, March 01, 2010

How NOT to Ask Me Out - Part 2

Anjelika says, "If you're new to Naive London Girl you should subscribe to my RSS feed here, or have new content delivered directly to your inbox here. Follow my Twitter updates here. You should also subscribe to my sexy podcast here. And please vote for my podcast which has been nominated for Best Lifestyle Podcast here. If you have any questions? You can e-mail me here. Thanks!"

Conversation via FaceBook Chat between Anjelika Jinx and Village Idiot

11:25pm
VILLAGE IDIOT
dude ur a man
i rate u
for it


11:25pm
ANJELIKA
i'm not a guy


11:25pm
VILLAGE IDIOT
yh u r
if ur a girl can i come and have a session with you


11:25pm
ANJELIKA
why do you think i'm a guy
not a chance


11:26pm
VILLAGE IDIOT
y nt


11:26pm
ANJELIKA
you haven't given me a good reason


11:26pm
VILLAGE IDIOT
because im good at eating pussy


11:26pm
ANJELIKA
and i'm not interesting in fucking anyone from facebook


11:26pm
VILLAGE IDIOT
i live near docklands
so im close
is it a yes den


11:27pm
ANJELIKA
No, not at all interested at this point
I've done a blog post about this sort of thing
have a look at the post (i'll provide the link) and get back to me when you can


11:28pm
VILLAGE IDIOT
ok hw bout just lunch then
and ill be a perfect gentlement
wt do u say
is dat a yes


11:29pm
ANJELIKA
http://www.naivelondongirl.com/2010/02/cum-with-fat-wallet.html


11:30pm
VILLAGE IDIOT
i just wanna go out
why is dat such a bad thing:S


11:31pm
VILLAGE IDIOT
?


11:32pm
ANJELIKA
Not interested


11:32pm
VILLAGE IDIOT
why nt
its racial thing


11:32pm
ANJELIKA
I don't date guys from facebook


11:32pm
VILLAGE IDIOT
but u wont be


11:32pm
ANJELIKA
You don't even have a profile pic
I don't know anything about you


11:32pm
VILLAGE IDIOT
i can say the same for u
and whos fault is dat den


11:32pm
ANJELIKA
I'm just not interested


11:33pm
VILLAGE IDIOT
das cause ur scared
hw bwt i come visit u then
canary wharf yh
u had anal sex with some next guy
so why not me


11:35pm
ANJELIKA
i'm not that hard up for sex


11:35pm
VILLAGE IDIOT
welll u blotched a bloyjob


11:35pm
ANJELIKA
I'm totally uninterested, and the more you ask, the more uninterested I am


11:36pm
VILLAGE IDIOT
ok
then
u got some issues man


11:36pm
ANJELIKA
I have issues, because I don't want to have sex with you?
There are a lot of guys I don't want to have sex with. You just happen to be one of them.


11:37pm
VILLAGE IDIOT
no u have issues a guy is just tryna get to know some1 in person wts the crime in dat


11:37pm
ANJELIKA
I don't want to meet for sex, coffee or lunch. That doesn't mean that I'm a guy parading as a chick


11:38pm
VILLAGE IDIOT
no ididnt mean u were


11:38pm
ANJELIKA
There's nothing wrong with wanting to get to know someone - but I've just gone through a break up and I don't want to meet someone new now -- That's my prerogative


11:38pm
VILLAGE IDIOT
i mean am a guy tryna get to know u in person wts the crime in that
but i just wanna be a mate
wts wrong wit htha


11:39pm
ANJELIKA
Listen, matey, I'm not interested. Maybe somewhere down the line but not now -- please be aware that you are severely decreasing your chances by constantly asking me


11:40pm
VILLAGE IDIOT
well i apologise for interrogating you i hope we can keep up to date in freindsand i apologise and i hope u accept my humble apology i guess every1 has had a bad day


11:41pm
ANJELIKA
Thank you

Oh my God, where do I even begin?

First of all, this village idiot guy doesn't have a profile pic.  Now before you criticize me for not having a proper profile pic keep in mind these two things.  1. At least i do have some sort of pic, yes it's of my boobs. but at least it is something.  And 2. I have a SEX BLOG and I'm trying to remain somewhat anonymous.  The last thing I want is to get the beat down from the wives of the husbands I slept with -What is Village Idiot's excuse?  I gather that either he's too unattractive or too lazy to put a pic up.  Either way, I'm not interested.

When a girl says she's not interested, trust me, she's NOT interested.  I probably should have signed off and blocked him, but I was trying to be diplomatic.

Third, when I told him that I was not interested in meeting him, he accused ME of having a problem.  That is really childish behavior.  It reminds me of my days in NYC when a few brothers would try to chat me up.  When I would indicate that I was uninterested their attitude changed.  They became defensive.  They would respond, "You ain't all that good looking anyway!"  Nice attitude, idiot.

Fourth, I am not so HARD UP for sex that I'm gonna meet mr Village Idiot. whose pic is sight unseen.

If men knew the kind of shit women go through online maybe they'd be a bit kinder.

So, what is the right way to chat me up?  
I got a very long, well-written (no typeos or txt spk) e-mail from a guy who reads my blog.  He introduced himself, told me about the things he likes and doesn't like.  He even shared some of his experience of being an expat in London.  From his e-mail I could see that we have a lot in common.  I would really love to post the letter as an example of how to ask me out, but I don't want to invade his privacy.

Anyhow, a question for the ladies:  Have you ever been hassled by a guy on the internet?

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Friday, February 19, 2010

How NOT to Ask Me Out

Anjelika says, "If you're new to Naive London Girl you should subscribe to my RSS feed here, or have new content delivered directly to your inbox here. Follow my Twitter updates here. You should also subscribe to my sexy podcast here. And please vote for my podcast which has been nominated for Best Lifestyle Podcast here. If you have any questions? You can e-mail me here. Thanks!"

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Sunday, February 14, 2010

Idiot on the N15 Bus

Anjelika says, "If you're new to Naive London Girl you should subscribe to my RSS feed here, or have new content delivered directly to your inbox here. Follow my Twitter updates here. You should also subscribe to my sexy podcast here. And please vote for my podcast which has been nominated for Best Lifestyle Podcast here. If you have any questions? You can e-mail me here. Thanks!"

After a girls' night out I got on night only to encounter this:



Happy Valentine's day, by the way.

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Monday, November 16, 2009

Fetishes, Kinks and Extreme Dating

Anjelika says, "If you're new to Naive London Girl you should subscribe to my RSS feed here, or have new content delivered directly to your inbox here. Follow my Twitter updates here. You should also subscribe to my sexy podcast here. And please vote for my podcast which has been nominated for Best Lifestyle Podcast here. If you have any questions? You can e-mail me here. Thanks!"

With Special Guests Suzanne Portnoy and my Boyfriend, RTC.

"The nature of internet dating is that you do end up fucking quite a few nut jobs" - Suzanne Portnoy.

Topics include: dealing with wackos, guys that can't shut the door, text messaging,  extreme dating websites, fetishes, kinks, anal sex, prolonging orgasms.



Direct link to media [Click here]
Listen on Mevio [Click here]
Listen on iTunes [Click here]
Listen on Zune [Click here]
Subscribe to the Feed [Click here]



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Friday, October 30, 2009

Female Coppers

Anjelika says, "If you're new to Naive London Girl you should subscribe to my RSS feed here, or have new content delivered directly to your inbox here. Follow my Twitter updates here. You should also subscribe to my sexy podcast here. And please vote for my podcast which has been nominated for Best Lifestyle Podcast here. If you have any questions? You can e-mail me here. Thanks!"



I decided to report yesterday's flashing incident to the police. I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it, but I figured that Tower Hamlets Council should know there’s a pervert in their midst.

Amount of time it took the police to arrive regarding the flashing 0.5 hours.
Amount of time it took the police to arrive when all four of my car windows were smashed a fortnight ago: 5.0 hours.

Anyhow, so these two female coppers arrive at my place. One of the coppers is hot. Smokin’ hot. Too pretty to be a police officer – I know, that’s a sexist thing to say, but if a flasher came after me again with his cock a-blazin’ when she showed up it would make his cock even harder. And he’d probably cum on her.

Seriously, if I have to deal with female coppers, I want big no-nonsense bull-dyke helping me out.

Hot Cop was 5 foot 8 inches (172cm), blond with hair pulled back. She had dimples, and sweet face. She was the Marsha Brady-type but even better looking. Her speaking voice was stern. Maybe a bit overly-stern to compensate for her looks. I couldn’t figure out why she was a cop and not doing commercials or hosting GMTV?

So Hot Cop and her sidekick questioned me for ten minutes. They took a description of the flasher. They didn’t bother asking me if he was circumcised or not. He was uncircumcised, for the record.

They thanked me for my cooperation and left shortly after that and told me to expect a call from victim services.

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Thursday, October 29, 2009

The Shoreditch Flasher

Anjelika says, "If you're new to Naive London Girl you should subscribe to my RSS feed here, or have new content delivered directly to your inbox here. Follow my Twitter updates here. You should also subscribe to my sexy podcast here. And please vote for my podcast which has been nominated for Best Lifestyle Podcast here. If you have any questions? You can e-mail me here. Thanks!"

I went for a job interview today in Shoreditch. Outfit, hair, shoes, all looking perfect. As I rang the buzzer to enter the building where I was interviewing a man walked past me. visibly grabbed his crotch. He licked his lips and nodded his head.

My first though: ew! My second thought: Well, guess this means look sexy. My third thought: Can I blog about this?

The man circled around a dumpster (skip) and walked into the street. He looked shifty. He was medium-build black man wearing a striped brown jumper and brown trousers.

For whatever reason I had to wait several minutes before the person that was interviewing me let in the building.

I waited. And waited. I checked my e-mail on my phone. I looked around at the area. I suddenly saw that weird guy walking towards me. “Here we go again.” I thought. He’s gonna hit on me. I’m going to have to go through the who spiel about how I have a boyfriend and I’m not looking for a “friend.” How he can’t have my number and how I don’t want his number.

Instead of that, he charged toward me. He pulled down his trousers and his underwear and there was his big black erect cock. I was sooooo not expecting that.

“Pervert! Pervert!”

I screamed.

He immediately turned around ran up the street. Seconds later, my interviewer exited the building.

“Anjelika great to see you. Let’s go to the coffee shop on the corner, shall we?”

The only response I could muster was, “Oh my God. I was just flashed!”

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Sunday, August 02, 2009

I need a sex job

Anjelika says, "If you're new to Naive London Girl you should subscribe to my RSS feed here, or have new content delivered directly to your inbox here. Follow my Twitter updates here. You should also subscribe to my sexy podcast here. And please vote for my podcast which has been nominated for Best Lifestyle Podcast here. If you have any questions? You can e-mail me here. Thanks!"

Subject: I need a sex job
From: "beckky xxx" xxx@yahoo.com
Date: Sat, August 1, 2009 6:29 am
To: me@naivelondongirl.com

Hi, im andrews,im from Nigeria and i am ok physically.I am havin a single parent-my mum.She's a teacher.I want you in the name of God help me come over to london to get for me a sex job im good at it pls CALL my NUMBER +234 08064374014. Im might be wrong sending this if so im sorry.I was born 1990 16th of april.Pls help me.Andrews.

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Saturday, May 09, 2009

I need blowjobs warking

Anjelika says, "If you're new to Naive London Girl you should subscribe to my RSS feed here, or have new content delivered directly to your inbox here. Follow my Twitter updates here. You should also subscribe to my sexy podcast here. And please vote for my podcast which has been nominated for Best Lifestyle Podcast here. If you have any questions? You can e-mail me here. Thanks!"

---------------------------- Original Message ----------
Subject: I need blowjobs warking
From: "Mr imran xxxxxx"

Date: Wed, May 6, 2009 8:19 am
To: me@naivelondongirl.com
--------------------------------------------------------


Dear I am imran from Pakistan i need blowjobs warking i intrasted to sex please contact any forther details +92-34328XXXXX.
Thanks
Imran Sheikh

This is the sort of e-mail I get.

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Saturday, March 07, 2009

Am I Wrong?

Anjelika says, "If you're new to Naive London Girl you should subscribe to my RSS feed here, or have new content delivered directly to your inbox here. Follow my Twitter updates here. You should also subscribe to my sexy podcast here. And please vote for my podcast which has been nominated for Best Lifestyle Podcast here. If you have any questions? You can e-mail me here. Thanks!"

Am I wrong?

Do you really 'know' someone after meeting them online?

Ok, I am writing this entry in my Nokia E71. Pardon, the typos.

So today I flew to Dublin. Part of the reason I flew here was to meet a guy from a dating site that I've been chatting to since last November. The other reason is to hang out with some friends here.

The guy, Jude, offered to pick me up from the airport. I said yes, thinking it would be great to save cab fare. He did mention that he would do it on the condition that I gave him a kiss when I met him. That made me a little uneasy but considering that we had regular net sex, maybe the request didn't seem so bad.

My flight into Dublin arrives 5 minutes early. I text him as soon as we touch down. He says he's on the way to the airport. Cool, I think. He'll be waiting when I arrive.

So I spend an extra 20 minutes in the airport bathroom putting on make up and doing my best to look extra nice. It takes me a further 20 minutes to get through immigration. I arrive in the arrivals hall. I scan the waiting crowd for Jude. I don't see him. I wonder if maybe he's there but perhaps he looks different than his profile picture?

I get a text from him saying he's on the way and that I should meet him upstairs in departures. He'll pull up the car and I'm to hop in. He then calls and reiterates his text message. He says he was running late because he ran into one of his major customers and ended up chatting to him.

Something about the situation makes me feel uncomfortable. It's my own personal policy NOT to get into cars with guys I don't know. Even though I've spoken to him at length online, I felt that meeting him in person was a whole different thing.

I replied to his text' "Hey can you park the car and meet me in arrivals?" He then immediately called me. He sounded thrown. He said he was just 3 minutes away but he agreed to park and meet me in arrivals.

Next thing you know, I get a text from him saying, "I'm on my way home. Enjoy Dublin, Anjelika."

He doesn't pick me up. Our date for the night is effectively cancelled. I spend €30 on a taxi to the hotel. Jude wants nothing to do with me now.

Question: Was I out of order? Girls, would you have done the same? Guys, would a request like that have put you off?

Please leave your feedback below as a comment.

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Monday, May 21, 2007

Run-Away Date

Anjelika says, "If you're new to Naive London Girl you should subscribe to my RSS feed here, or have new content delivered directly to your inbox here. Follow my Twitter updates here. You should also subscribe to my sexy podcast here. And please vote for my podcast which has been nominated for Best Lifestyle Podcast here. If you have any questions? You can e-mail me here. Thanks!"

Run-Away Date

I met up with Wanda in Covent Garden. It had been ages since we’ve been out together hunting men.

We went to pub Punch and Judy’s and found ourselves surrounded by hot Dutch guys. One of the hot guys asked if he could have a napkin from our table. We weren’t sure if that was his way of opening the conversation between us, or if he simply wanted a napkin. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

We both had a couple drinks. We recorded a podcast and we admired the hot guys next to us.

As the pub closing a tall blond dude named Christian offered to buy me a drink. His accent sounded German or Scandinavian. I couldn’t place it.”

“Where are you from?” I asked.

“Liverpool.”

“Huh?”

“Liverpool.”

“You’re not foreign?”

“No.”

“No worries about the drink.”

I know it’s snobby but somehow he was less interesting since he wasn’t foreign. Wanda and I left the pub. We walked past the Gardening Club and pondered going in there, but since I’m jobless and on the fast train to poverty, we decided not to spend the 12 quid.

As we were walking to the tube all of a sudden I heard my name being called.

It was Christian. He wanted to chat to me. I didn’t want to leave Wanda in order to talk to him. And if came down to choosing between Wanda and the guy, I’d choose Wanda. Friends have to stick together, right?

So Wanda gives me a look that says, “He’s cute go for him.” She makes a polite excuse and then goes home.

Christian and I go into a pub. The bar was closed we go across the street to another pub that has a sizable queue. I hate queing, but I love nights that are random. I figure go with the flow.

It turns out that Christian is a property developer living in Notting Hill. His stats so far are impressive. I wondered how the night would go.

We queue for about twenty minutes. We get to the front of the queue and are led inside. Christian pulls out his wallet to pay then suddenly he turns around and runs out of the club.

No explanation. No nothing. I thought maybe he went outside to ask the doorman a question but then I see him running across the street.

So I’m standing in club like an idiot. My date just ran out on me. What the fuck?

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Tuesday, May 15, 2007

I Don’t Fuck Men who Fuck Men

Anjelika says, "If you're new to Naive London Girl you should subscribe to my RSS feed here, or have new content delivered directly to your inbox here. Follow my Twitter updates here. You should also subscribe to my sexy podcast here. And please vote for my podcast which has been nominated for Best Lifestyle Podcast here. If you have any questions? You can e-mail me here. Thanks!"

I Don’t Fuck Men who Fuck Men

Everyone needs standards and this is my new one. Not that I’ve ever fucked a man who fucks other men (to the best of my knowledge) but there comes a time in your life when you realize there are some things that you can’t be cool with. And that is my limit.

I met a dude on Craig’s List from Lichtenstein. I don’t know much about Lichtenstein but I already like the place. It’s small unobtrusive and damn cool to say. Just say, “Lichtenstein” a few times.

He was in his late 30’s and was an investment banker. He looked relatively normal in his photo and I was intrigued even more after a 20 minute phone conversation in which he told me about Lichtenstein.

We went out for sushi a couple days ago. I thought I spotted a wedding ring on his hand, but I initially ignored it.

As we ate the fantastic sushi dinner he revealed that he was married and had a 12 year old daughter. When he told me that in my head I thought, “Not interested. It’s over.” But I carried on pretending to be interested. Hell, I even ordered dessert.

As we were sitting at table his phone rang.

“Your wife?” I joked.

He declined the call and smiled coyly. “Oh, you’ll never guess,” he said.

“Your butcher, your baker, your candlestick maker,” I said, fairly uninterested yet somewhat curious.

“No,” he laughed.

“Right. Then who?”

“Well,” he said, taking a deep breath. “I am really into transsexuals.”

“Oh cool,” I said as if I were hardly bothered.

But in my head I was saying, “JESUS FUCKING CHRIST! ARE THERE NO ‘NORMAL’ MEN IN LONDON? I’ve already had a tranny. I don’t want a tranny-lover.”

Lichtenstein dude went on to explain that he only likes the very feminine looking trannies. Oh, well THAT makes it okay!
And even though he’s from a quiet village in Lichtenstein and has polite Austrian wife and normal 12-year-old daughter, for the past 5 years on his business trips out of town he’s been fucking and getting fucked by chicks with dicks.

Hey, whatever floats your boat, but not on my watch. That’s where I draw the line.

I was terribly polite the rest of the evening but I thought. “There is NO WAY in HELL I’m sleeping with him.”

I don’t fuck guys who fuck other guys. End of.

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