Casting Agent Dude

Casting Agent Dude

Friday was an easy day at work. Two meetings before 12 noon. I answered e-mails for a couple hours then at 2PM I was taken out to lunch by a casting agent who wants the job of finding talent for the next season/series of the show I’m working on. It’s all early days though so who knows if his company will get job. I was just in it for the free sushi lunch. Yum. Keep the shashimi rolling.

Casting Agent Dude was a half hour late. He was totally wired when he arrived. He was all over the place. He wasn’t able to focus on a single idea so luckily we got the business part out of the way first. We spent the rest of our 2-hour lunch gossiping about celebs (no one on his books though).

We went back to the production office where I introduced him to a few of my colleagues..

It was the last day of work for one of my bosses. Coincidentally, Casting Agent Dude knew this boss of mine. Said boss invited Casting Agent Dude to his leaving party.

Roll on 6PM, party at some swank restaurant / pub near Piccadilly Circus. Since the event was “corporate optional” most of my work colleagues were there. I’m sure the free bar helped retain the numbers. I had 1-2-3-4-5 count ‘em Marguritas. So by the end of the night I found myself flirting shamelessly with Casting Agent Dude.

He offered me some gak. I said no. But then I thought, why the hell am I saying no? It’s not as if Nancy Reagan is inside my head feeding me answers.

“Actually, yeah, I’ll have some. I’ve ever tried it before.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, never. I’ve never been offered it.”

“I’m offering now. But it’s your first time, you don’t want this shit. This isn’t good shit.”

“Okay,” I said sounding somewhat confused, “Um let me know when you have some good stuff.”

“Cool,” he said and sauntered off to the bathroom.

I left the club shortly after that.

I Don’t Fuck Men who Fuck Men

I Don’t Fuck Men who Fuck Men

Everyone needs standards and this is my new one. Not that I’ve ever fucked a man who fucks other men (to the best of my knowledge) but there comes a time in your life when you realize there are some things that you can’t be cool with. And that is my limit.

I met a dude on Craig’s List from Lichtenstein. I don’t know much about Lichtenstein but I already like the place. It’s small unobtrusive and damn cool to say. Just say, “Lichtenstein” a few times.

He was in his late 30’s and was an investment banker. He looked relatively normal in his photo and I was intrigued even more after a 20 minute phone conversation in which he told me about Lichtenstein.

We went out for sushi a couple days ago. I thought I spotted a wedding ring on his hand, but I initially ignored it.

As we ate the fantastic sushi dinner he revealed that he was married and had a 12 year old daughter. When he told me that in my head I thought, “Not interested. It’s over.” But I carried on pretending to be interested. Hell, I even ordered dessert.

As we were sitting at table his phone rang.

“Your wife?” I joked.

He declined the call and smiled coyly. “Oh, you’ll never guess,” he said.

“Your butcher, your baker, your candlestick maker,” I said, fairly uninterested yet somewhat curious.

“No,” he laughed.

“Right. Then who?”

“Well,” he said, taking a deep breath. “I am really into transsexuals.”

“Oh cool,” I said as if I were hardly bothered.

But in my head I was saying, “JESUS FUCKING CHRIST! ARE THERE NO ‘NORMAL’ MEN IN LONDON? I’ve already had a tranny. I don’t want a tranny-lover.”

Lichtenstein dude went on to explain that he only likes the very feminine looking trannies. Oh, well THAT makes it okay!
And even though he’s from a quiet village in Lichtenstein and has polite Austrian wife and normal 12-year-old daughter, for the past 5 years on his business trips out of town he’s been fucking and getting fucked by chicks with dicks.

Hey, whatever floats your boat, but not on my watch. That’s where I draw the line.

I was terribly polite the rest of the evening but I thought. “There is NO WAY in HELL I’m sleeping with him.”

I don’t fuck guys who fuck other guys. End of.

Sushi Date Haiku

Sushi Date Haiku

A tale of last night's date in Haiku form.

Sushi Date Haiku #1:
Craig's list, N.S.A.
"Looking for sushi and sex"
Hundreds of e-mails.

Sushi Date Haiku #2:
Nobu very nice.
Canary Wharf is the shit.
Sea Bass, yum, yum, yum

Sushi Date Haiku #3:
Conversation: Good.
Food: It was quite fantastic.
Sex: Nothing went down.

Sushi Date Haiku #4:
Lonely Businessman.
Good food. Tiny portions. Left
hungry. No action.