How NOT to Ask Me Out - Part 2

Conversation via FaceBook Chat between Anjelika Jinx and Village Idiot

11:25pm
VILLAGE IDIOT
dude ur a man
i rate u
for it


11:25pm
ANJELIKA
i'm not a guy


11:25pm
VILLAGE IDIOT
yh u r
if ur a girl can i come and have a session with you


11:25pm
ANJELIKA
why do you think i'm a guy
not a chance


11:26pm
VILLAGE IDIOT
y nt


11:26pm
ANJELIKA
you haven't given me a good reason


11:26pm
VILLAGE IDIOT
because im good at eating pussy


11:26pm
ANJELIKA
and i'm not interesting in fucking anyone from facebook


11:26pm
VILLAGE IDIOT
i live near docklands
so im close
is it a yes den


11:27pm
ANJELIKA
No, not at all interested at this point
I've done a blog post about this sort of thing
have a look at the post (i'll provide the link) and get back to me when you can


11:28pm
VILLAGE IDIOT
ok hw bout just lunch then
and ill be a perfect gentlement
wt do u say
is dat a yes


11:29pm
ANJELIKA
http://www.naivelondongirl.com/2010/02/cum-with-fat-wallet.html


11:30pm
VILLAGE IDIOT
i just wanna go out
why is dat such a bad thing:S


11:31pm
VILLAGE IDIOT
?


11:32pm
ANJELIKA
Not interested


11:32pm
VILLAGE IDIOT
why nt
its racial thing


11:32pm
ANJELIKA
I don't date guys from facebook


11:32pm
VILLAGE IDIOT
but u wont be


11:32pm
ANJELIKA
You don't even have a profile pic
I don't know anything about you


11:32pm
VILLAGE IDIOT
i can say the same for u
and whos fault is dat den


11:32pm
ANJELIKA
I'm just not interested


11:33pm
VILLAGE IDIOT
das cause ur scared
hw bwt i come visit u then
canary wharf yh
u had anal sex with some next guy
so why not me


11:35pm
ANJELIKA
i'm not that hard up for sex


11:35pm
VILLAGE IDIOT
welll u blotched a bloyjob


11:35pm
ANJELIKA
I'm totally uninterested, and the more you ask, the more uninterested I am


11:36pm
VILLAGE IDIOT
ok
then
u got some issues man


11:36pm
ANJELIKA
I have issues, because I don't want to have sex with you?
There are a lot of guys I don't want to have sex with. You just happen to be one of them.


11:37pm
VILLAGE IDIOT
no u have issues a guy is just tryna get to know some1 in person wts the crime in dat


11:37pm
ANJELIKA
I don't want to meet for sex, coffee or lunch. That doesn't mean that I'm a guy parading as a chick


11:38pm
VILLAGE IDIOT
no ididnt mean u were


11:38pm
ANJELIKA
There's nothing wrong with wanting to get to know someone - but I've just gone through a break up and I don't want to meet someone new now -- That's my prerogative


11:38pm
VILLAGE IDIOT
i mean am a guy tryna get to know u in person wts the crime in that
but i just wanna be a mate
wts wrong wit htha


11:39pm
ANJELIKA
Listen, matey, I'm not interested. Maybe somewhere down the line but not now -- please be aware that you are severely decreasing your chances by constantly asking me


11:40pm
VILLAGE IDIOT
well i apologise for interrogating you i hope we can keep up to date in freindsand i apologise and i hope u accept my humble apology i guess every1 has had a bad day


11:41pm
ANJELIKA
Thank you

Oh my God, where do I even begin?

First of all, this village idiot guy doesn't have a profile pic.  Now before you criticize me for not having a proper profile pic keep in mind these two things.  1. At least i do have some sort of pic, yes it's of my boobs. but at least it is something.  And 2. I have a SEX BLOG and I'm trying to remain somewhat anonymous.  The last thing I want is to get the beat down from the wives of the husbands I slept with -What is Village Idiot's excuse?  I gather that either he's too unattractive or too lazy to put a pic up.  Either way, I'm not interested.

When a girl says she's not interested, trust me, she's NOT interested.  I probably should have signed off and blocked him, but I was trying to be diplomatic.

Third, when I told him that I was not interested in meeting him, he accused ME of having a problem.  That is really childish behavior.  It reminds me of my days in NYC when a few brothers would try to chat me up.  When I would indicate that I was uninterested their attitude changed.  They became defensive.  They would respond, "You ain't all that good looking anyway!"  Nice attitude, idiot.

Fourth, I am not so HARD UP for sex that I'm gonna meet mr Village Idiot. whose pic is sight unseen.

If men knew the kind of shit women go through online maybe they'd be a bit kinder.

So, what is the right way to chat me up?  
I got a very long, well-written (no typeos or txt spk) e-mail from a guy who reads my blog.  He introduced himself, told me about the things he likes and doesn't like.  He even shared some of his experience of being an expat in London.  From his e-mail I could see that we have a lot in common.  I would really love to post the letter as an example of how to ask me out, but I don't want to invade his privacy.

Anyhow, a question for the ladies:  Have you ever been hassled by a guy on the internet?

Cold Sore Conundrum and Breaking "The Rules"

Last night I went out with a guy, Russell, who had initially asked me out nearly a year ago. I met Russell on an online dating site. Initially we were due to go out last year, but then he was called out of town for work.

I find that these sort of flakey excuses happen frequently in the online dating world. I assumed it was code for, "I really don't want to go out with you." Russell assured me, however, that he really did want to go out with me and that his last-minute travel was not an excuse.

He spent 6 weeks in the Mediterranean. I think he works in the shipping business, but I'm not really sure what he does. When he returned to the UK I was already ensconced in a relationship with my ex-boyfriend, RTC.

Friday morning I got a text from Russell. He asked me how the relationship was going. I told him it was over. He then asked I wanted to go out with him for a drink on Saturday. I said yes.

Now, The Rules say "Never accept a Saturday night date after Wednesday." Is this a drastic error? I just wanted to go out and it not be a big deal. Do any girls here follow The Rules?

So last night Russell and I met up for drinks. Surprisingly, he looked better in person than he did in his profile picture. It's the opposite for most guys. How they look in their profile pic is usually the best they've ever looked. Viewing them in person normally leads to some  disappointment.

Russell looked great except for a cold sore he had on his lip. I could tell he was slightly embarrassed by this, but I didn't want to bring it up.

I've never had a cold sore. I don't know much about them. All I know is that I didn't want that thing near my lips. Are cold sores contagious? I think they are, right?

After drinks we went to a 5 star Chinese restaurant. The meal was great. The conversation that Russell and I had was great. I just really seemed to get along with him. The sad thing was that I actually had a great time with Russell and I wanted to give him a good night kiss but with that cold sore I just couldn't.

So we had a really awkward moment at the end of the night. I gave him a peck on the cheek and scurried off. I guess it wasn't the best way to handle it but I did not want to go anywhere near that monster on his lip. Couldn't he have waited until it cleared up to ask me out?

What do you think?

Fetishes, Kinks and Extreme Dating

With Special Guests Suzanne Portnoy and my Boyfriend, RTC.

"The nature of internet dating is that you do end up fucking quite a few nut jobs" - Suzanne Portnoy.

Topics include: dealing with wackos, guys that can't shut the door, text messaging,  extreme dating websites, fetishes, kinks, anal sex, prolonging orgasms.

Direct link to media [Click here]

Listen on Mevio [Click here]

Listen on iTunes [Click here]

Listen on Zune [Click here]

Subscribe to the Feed [Click here]

http://offers.mevio.com/show/naivelondongirl.html

GoDaddy UK

NLG20H  - 20% off web hosting

NLGSSL  - $12.99 Standard SSL gift certificates

DOMAINS

NLG9  - 30% off .com domains

NLG25  - 25% off £65 or more*

NLG7  - 10% off any order*

NLG8  - 20% off £35 or more*

For more info  click here .

FootLocker.com

AFNAIVE3  - 15% off at Foot Locker

For more info  click here .

Diamond.com

ADNLG  - 20% off (some restrictions apply)

For more info  click here .

Eastbay.com

AFNAIVE1  -15% off any order

AFNAIVE2  - 20% off any order $75 or more

For more info  click here.

Ice.com

ACNLG  - 20% off (some restrictions apply)

For more info  click here .

Zazzle UK

NAIVELONDON1 - 10% off

NAIVELONDON2 - 12% off

For more info  click here

Hump Day Preview - Fetishes, Kinks & Extreme Dating

Here's a preview of next week's podcast episode, "Fetishes, Kinks and Extreme Dating." It will be release next Monday. And there's a surprise appearance by my boyfriend!

The Bitch Bites Back

Hi Anjelika,
Just wanted to let you know, I have only called your boyfriend once in the last few months, that one time you answered the phone. I have only sent him one email that he requested me to send. He has initiated contact 10 out of the 13 times we have chatted online in the last two months.
So if you have a problem with us talking to each other, I think you should take it up with him. I'm sorry if you are uncomfortable with me talking to him. We are good friends and hopefully will always remain so.
Sorry if you feel so insecure in your relationship not to allow your boyfriend to have friends, that's very sad. I hope everything works out for the two of you. Take care.
-J.

Contemplating my next move. What do you think I should do?

Dear Bitch (The Ex-Factor)

Dear Bitch (otherwise known as my boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend),

Apparently you have a lot of problems: emotional, financial, etc. Even though you live in California the “only” person that can understand your problems is my boyfriend, right?

Your problems are of your own creation and have nothing to do with my boyfriend. He cannot fix you, your four-year old autistic son, the fact that you are knocked-up now and the baby daddy has absconded, or your money problems.

My boyfriend isn’t an emotional crutch in which you are to lean on.

Perhaps if you two were in a serious relationship I could understand your need to still speak with him. However being that your “relationship” with him was all but 5 months long– ALL of which happened online with the exception of a 2-week in-person visit, then I can hardly accept this as serious.

Furthermore, within that 2-week period that he visited you (long before he met me) he apparently found you so contemptible by week 2 that he called the police on you.

You had your chance and you blew it.

I find your attempts to contact him now misguided and fraught with ulterior motive. The fact that you asked if you could get back together with him yesterday proves this.

I am not trying to play the part of the jealous, insecure girlfriend. I am Miss Anjelika Jinx and I know what you’re up to. I have been the seductress enough times that I know what depths women are willing to sink to.

Don’t call, e-mail or instant message him. If he wants to contact you, I’m fine with that; but don’t waste your breath waiting for that phone call.

Best wishes,
Anjelika

Holes in the Condom

New Podcast episode: Holes in the Condom



"He wants to have sex with me and poke holes in the condom?"

• Wanda goes psycho
  
• Anjelika gets f*ck buddy
  
• Anjelika finds a man
  
• Online dating.
  
• Fetish
  
• Swallowing
  
• Shout outs
  
• Banksy
  

Listen on Mevio: http://www.mevio.com/episode/158809/Holes+in+the+Condom

Direct line to media Click here

Listen on iTunes

No Second Chances

No Second Chances

I thought Friday would be a rather lazy day since I worked from home. It’s easy to assume that “working from home” means not working. In my case, nothing could be further form the truth. Whenever I work from home I end up doing more work than I would in the office. Part of this is to “prove” that I am actually working. Another part of this is that I don’t have the usual distractions such as co-worker approaching me with questions, idle office conversation or spending the usual 45-minutes deciding where to go for lunch.

The problem with working from home this past Friday was that my date with PC Paul (he’s a Police Constable) was set for central London. This means I’d have to take the DLR into the city after all; not that I totally minded, but if I really wanted to go into the city I just would have gone into the office.

I became acquainted with PC Paul through one of dating site that I frequent. Two months ago we exchanged mobile numbers. We’ve been text each other since. Honestly, I don’t even remember what he looks like. We’ve been corresponding for so long, I finally said to him, “Why don’t we actually go out.”

To say we made “plans” for Friday would be a bit much. We agreed to meet in central London at 7PM. He asked me what I wanted to do. I hate when I’m just starting to get to know a guy and he asks what I want to do on a date. Does that sound backwards? I want a guy who can take charge. I want a guy who says, “hey, we’re going to go to dinner at this time and drinks afterward.”

It feels a bit pansy for the guy to ask me what I want to do on a first date. You make the plan. You plan it out. You tell me what we’ll be doing. If I don’t like it, then I’ll tell you. But don’t leave it up to me to decide.

So I told him dinner or drinks would be fine. Why did I say that? I hate meeting for drinks. I would much rather meet for dinner. Anyhow, we changed the location of our meeting to Borough at 8PM.

After work I fell asleep on the couch. I woke up at 7:30. I was still exhausted. No matter what, I was going to force myself to go on this date.

I needed a quick shower to wake up. I picked up my phone to text PC Paul to let him know I’d meet him at 8:30 instead. Before I could text him there was already a text on my phone saying that he has to cancel. “Emergency Babysitting duties.”

Huh? Emergency babysitting? Does he have a kid? He never mentioned that. He had sent me pictures of his dog.

A couple years ago, I decided that any guy who cancels on me via text message doesn’t get a second chance. But if he calls to cancel, fair enough. I would give him another chance.

What do you think? Is that too harsh?

Fantasies Indulged

Fantasies Indulged

Knowing that I was making a trip to Dublin, I signed up for an Irish Dating site. I “met” Adam online there. He was an unassuming man in his early forties who bore a vague resemblance to Steve Coogan. I probably received 30 or so e-mails, but Adam was the first to reply. His e-mail was thoughtful and genuine so I thought, “why not?”

Apparently, there aren’t many black women in Ireland. Although superficially I realized there was a scarcity of black women in Dublin, it hadn’t sunk in that I was an exotic delicacy for the Irish man. It had never occurred to me that Irish men would fantasize about black women. Perhaps some of it is about taboos, e.g. antiquated racist ideology. Perhaps it was mere curiosity. Whatever it was, I liked it. I felt like a sexy highly sought-after young woman. If only I could feel like that every day here in London.

Adam described himself as a “generous, eloquent and professional” Irishman living on the outskirts of Dublin. He had previously worked in the banking industry, but was now taking time off to enjoy the substantial bonus he had accumulated during his tenure. (Read: fired for mishandling banking funds, but still managed to get a bonus)

We e-mailed each other and we had spoken on the phone a few times. I felt reasonably comfortable with him.

Brushing off the previous day’s bad dating experience with Jude, I was determined to make my afternoon date with Adam work. Generally, I don’t like afternoon dates. They lack a certain romantic air about them. My time in Dublin was limited and this was the best time that we both could meet.

We met in the lobby of the Westbury Hotel on Grafton street. He looked exactly like his picture. This is something that is rare. Guys always look better in their picture than online. Usually they look, younger, thinner, have less gray and more hair. I’ve been unpleasantly surprised on a number of occasions. Remember the French guy with the bad teeth?

Adam and I went for a coffee at the restaurant inside. He explained his situation to me: It had been nearly a year since his last girlfriend. It had been a year since he had sex. He was looking for TLC and possibly a girlfriend. He stressed that in life he had been extremely lucky financially. He wanted to make a good impression on me, so he happy to be quite generous.

“Generous?” I inquired, “How so?”

“I want to take you shopping.”

“What?” I said, not quite believing what I was hearing. A guy who likes shopping?

“Let’s spend the afternoon shopping. My treat. What happens after that is up to you.”
“Are you sure,” I asked, “Because, man, I love to shop.”

“I like making women happy. It’s been while since I’ve made someone happy.”

“I see, well, how can I say no to something like that?”

“We have lunch reservations at 2:00. Let’s do some shopping now, have lunch and then shop some more.”

“Okay”

So many thoughts went through my head. Oh my freakin’ god!!! A shopping trip? He’s paying. Will I have to sleep with him? How much stuff can I buy? Could I buy a car? How would I ship it from Ireland? No, maybe I should only get a few small things? Oh boy.

First stop, HMV bought 10 CDs and 5 DVD

Next stop, Swatch 1 watch

Next stop, 9 West, 2 pairs of heels, 1 pair of boots

Lunch at a 5-star restaurant (1 Michelin star). We ordered the tasting menu.

Next stop, La Senza, 2 bras, 4 panties

Next stop, Next, 4 shirt, 1 dress

Next stop, Brown Thomas, 1 Designer Handbag, 1 matching wallet

Next stop, Tiffany’s (yay!) earrings and matching pendant.

Next stop, my hotel room. After all, I needed help carrying all my bags.

Adam asked me to model some of the clothes that we bought. I went into the bathroom and came out wearing the black nearly knee-length boots, pink thong, pink bra, Tiffany’s earrings and pendant.

He said I looked beautiful. I climbed up on the bed and spread my legs apart. He push my panties to one side and began eating me out.

“I want you to sit on my face,” he said. I removed the thong and mounted my self above his lips. I held on to bedposts as his tongue thrusts were driving me wild. I came six times. I dismounted and rolled over on the bed next to him. He looked peaceful, happy.

He didn’t come at all. He got up off the bed and thanked me for a most wonderful afternoon. He left the hotel a few minutes after that.

I sat on the bed looking at the mountains of shopping; feeling amazing from my 6 orgasms. I was amazed at how the whole day went. Did that really just happen?

Am I Wrong?

Am I wrong?

Do you really 'know' someone after meeting them online?

Ok, I am writing this entry in my Nokia E71. Pardon, the typos.

So today I flew to Dublin. Part of the reason I flew here was to meet a guy from a dating site that I've been chatting to since last November. The other reason is to hang out with some friends here.

The guy, Jude, offered to pick me up from the airport. I said yes, thinking it would be great to save cab fare. He did mention that he would do it on the condition that I gave him a kiss when I met him. That made me a little uneasy but considering that we had regular net sex, maybe the request didn't seem so bad.

My flight into Dublin arrives 5 minutes early. I text him as soon as we touch down. He says he's on the way to the airport. Cool, I think. He'll be waiting when I arrive.

So I spend an extra 20 minutes in the airport bathroom putting on make up and doing my best to look extra nice. It takes me a further 20 minutes to get through immigration. I arrive in the arrivals hall. I scan the waiting crowd for Jude. I don't see him. I wonder if maybe he's there but perhaps he looks different than his profile picture?

I get a text from him saying he's on the way and that I should meet him upstairs in departures. He'll pull up the car and I'm to hop in. He then calls and reiterates his text message. He says he was running late because he ran into one of his major customers and ended up chatting to him.

Something about the situation makes me feel uncomfortable. It's my own personal policy NOT to get into cars with guys I don't know. Even though I've spoken to him at length online, I felt that meeting him in person was a whole different thing.

I replied to his text' "Hey can you park the car and meet me in arrivals?" He then immediately called me. He sounded thrown. He said he was just 3 minutes away but he agreed to park and meet me in arrivals.

Next thing you know, I get a text from him saying, "I'm on my way home. Enjoy Dublin, Anjelika."

He doesn't pick me up. Our date for the night is effectively cancelled. I spend €30 on a taxi to the hotel. Jude wants nothing to do with me now.

Question: Was I out of order? Girls, would you have done the same? Guys, would a request like that have put you off?

Please leave your feedback below as a comment.

No Sex in 2 Months - Podcast

"We're spending all weekend together and we're not going to have sex?!?"


Listen to this Podcast on iTunes

Listen to this Podcast on Mevio

Direct Link to Podcast

Or click on an episode below to listen now:

No Teeth and Other Dating Tips

Like this podcast, subscribe to it in iTunes.

Download this podcast

Online Dating

Anjelika and Wanda Discuss

- Online Dating
- Anjelika's Wedding Date
- Flirting
- Anjelika's three dates
- Why Men Marry Some Women and Not Others

Is Online Dating a Dirty Word?

Is Online Dating a Dirty Word?

After a long day at work doing pre-production for our channel’s next reality show, I along with a few co-workers headed down to the pub.

Over some alcoholic beverages I chatted to them about the dates I had been on. My colleagues seemed genuinely happy for me.

“So how did you meet these guys?”, asked a colleague who I’ve named (in my head) Blonde, Anorexic and Dumb (BAD). “I’m trying online dating.” I said, as if I have nothing to hide.

A few of the girls looked at me scornfully. “Oh, I could never do that,” cooed one of them. “It’s just so much natural to meet someone in person.” That was the general consensus amongst most of the girls there.

“Yes, in many ways it is, but I’ve tried that other way. I’ve tried meeting guys in a more natural setting. Through bars, supermarkets, bookshops even at work to a certain extent. And after all these years it hasn’t gotten me anywhere. So I said I’m gonna try the online dating thing and see how it goes. I’ve only signed up for 3 months, so I’ll have a go at it until my membership runs out.”

“I suppose,” one of them conceded, but she didn’t sound satisfied.

I think one of the difficult things about online dating is the stigma that is attached to it. It is implied that by signing up for online dating, that you’ve given up trying to find someone the ‘traditional’ way. Or, perhaps that you’re not pretty enough / clever enough to meet to meet someone the ‘traditional’ way. Perhaps there is some truth in that. Perhaps there is an element of desperation in online dating?

But if you, like me, have spent the past 10 years dating the ‘traditional’ way and it hasn’t yielded results, isn’t it worth trying something else?

So this is what I’m trying and I’m not at all apologetic for that.

Online dating: ready, set, GO!

Holy Crap!

I checked my AMEX bill and saw that I’ve been billed for another 6 months of an online dating service. I don’t know why I signed up 6 months ago. I never even used the service. I think I was into it for a week – I never went on any dates. It just BORED me. And at the time I just started seeing someone.

Okay so now that I paid for another rix months (in advance) I decided to actually USE it.
I put up a cute picture of myself and a description. I got responses form about 10 guys in 2 days. That’s good right?