Alcohol Makes Me Horny

Rio: The Case of the Spray Bidet

Rio: The Case of the Spray Bidet

I just arrived in the lovely city of Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. My hotel is what you would call, ‘Tourist Class.” I don’t mind, but it’s weird to think that just last week I was staying at the Ritz. I’m staying in Ipanema (cue music) and my hotel is supposed to be close to the beach. I need to g out to investigate if this is true.

I’m horny as fuck. It must be the heat. It’s 31 degrees C. What is that in Fahrenheit? Eighty something? The whole cab ride here I kept thinking, I hope there’s a shower-head massager.

As soon as the porter dropped off my bag and left the room, I ripped off my clothes. I just wanted to get myself off. I hurried into the bathroom and was surprised to find that there’s no tub. It’s just a shower. And to make matters worse it’s not even a shower head massager. Fuck!

Now I’m going to have to finger myself to off. That’s just more work than I want to do when I’m on vacation. Upon a second glance in the bathroom I noticed something that looked like a spray gun. Is that to spray your ass with water? A spray bidet? I’m confused. I wonder what other purposes it can be used for?