Gazza: Friend and Fuck Buddy

My pal and sometimes fuck buddy, Gary has been spending a lot of time sleeping in my spare room lately. He's here from America for a few weeks on a film shoot.  His hotel is somewhere near Heathrow, but for the past 6 days the crew has been shooting in East London and Greenwich / Blackheath.  Not being a fan of early starts (he has to be on set by 5 AM) he's been crashing at my place.  The early-morning commute from Heathrow was killing him.

I met Gaz like 10 years ago in New York.  I was friends with his girlfriend initially.  I realized that I had more in common with him than his girlfriend.  We slept together a few times while he was dating his girlfriend.  He broke up with her eventually and went out with another girl.  We slept together a few more times.  He broke up with her and went out with another girl.  We slept together a few more times.  We even fucked on her bed.  What can I say?  I was crazy and in my twenties.  No wonder my karma is shit now.

I remember once when I was 24.  I was in Harlem getting my hair did.  All of a sudden I had this urge to feel Gary's cock in me.  I desperately wanted him to fuck me.  I had never had feelings like this before!  In fact I was sort of 'off' sex.  It hat been OK, but not a big deal to me.  Never in my life had I craved sex.

I started twitching in my seat.  I called him on his cell and said that I HAD to see him.  That it was an emergency-- an emergency shag.  The only place he could meet me was his girlfriend's place-- she was in the Hamptons.  I went over to his girlfriend's place- a nice one bedroom apartment her wealthy parents had bought for her.

As soon as we got in the door we rushed into the bedroom.   He ate me out and fucked me hard on her bed.

While he was in the middle of fucking me his girlfriend called. Although that would have been enough to put most men off, Gary was able to finish... and finish well.   His girlfriend left a message  on the answering machine to say that she was on the  Hampton Jitney returning to the city.

It was  nearly identical to that scene in Sex and the City from the episode "Running with Scissors" where Natasha comes home early to find Carrie in her apartment.  Luckily I made a hasty escape and Gary was able to get the sex smell out of her place before she came back.

I remember leaving her apartment on that hot summer day thinking,  "That was a really good fuck.  I'm still horny and I want some more!"  It's ever since then that my libido has been insatiable.  I sometimes wonder if that event had never happened if there would be a Naive London Girl?  Perhaps not.

I've never felt any romantic feelings for him and as far as I can tell he never felt any for me either.  What I felt for him was two things:  Animal lust and friendship -- not always at the same time, that's the extent of my feelings for him.  He's cool as shit. And really funny.  He reminds me of Boricua Seth Rogen and Tracy Morgan combo -- if you can imagine such a mix.  

And when we fuck we laugh and laugh and laugh.  He's a pal and a good fuck buddy.  Sex with him is always fun.  We never "make love"  we just fuck.

I can't ever see myself ending up with him.  Maybe it's his lack of ambition in life?  Maybe because he drinks a little too much?  He's just my really good pal who on occasion I fuck.   We don't ever plan to fuck, it more or less just happens. Sometimes we just hang out and watch TV.

I always get along with all of his girlfriends.  None of them knew I was fucking him, but I'm always happy to see him  happy in love with someone else.

He's the one I botched the blow job with -- yes I will get around to blogging about that eventually.  And he's the one I lost my anal virginity to -- yes I'll be blogging about that soon too.

Anyhow, it's been nice having him stay here at the flat.  It's like having a little bit of New York here in London with me. When he leaves, I'll be sad, but not heart broken.  He's a good fuck, but he's no RTC or BFE.

I Taste Like Pee

Gary, my American friend and sometimes fuck buddy came over today. He had the day off work and being that I'm unemployed he makes the ideal friend to hang out with. We were both haning out watching TV.

I was wearing a T-shirt and no panties while sitting on the sofa. I'm so comfortable with Gaz that nudity is never a big deal. The real reason I was wearing no panties was because I was waiting for my bathing suit to dry. I planned on having a swim at the Reebok Gym later that evening. As soon as my bathing suit was dry I had planned on putting it on. I don't want you to get the idea that I just hang around in my living room with no knickers.

Gaz drank about 4-5 beers and was pretty drunk by dinner time. I was surfing the web with my laptop, replying to a few recruiters about potential job interviews.

"You know, I'm not wearing any panties," I randomly said to Gaz.

"Oh, I didn't notice," he said nonchalantly, "Wanna fuck?"

Before I could answer he drunkenly lunged towards me.

"Gary, I'm not in the mood," I said in a half-hearted attempt to push him off me.

He then buried his head in my pussy and began licking. It didn't feel good. It didn't feel bad either. I just felt really distracted by the TV and the e-mails I was sending. I just wasn't in the mood to get eaten out.

"You're always in the mood."

"I'm not now," I said starting to feel annoyed.

He kept licking my pussy. Suddenly he stopped.

"You taste like pee."

"That's because I peed five minutes ago."

"You didn't wipe well enough."

"I'm about to go to the gym. Who cares? I'm going to shower before I get into the pool anyhow. And besides who expects to get eaten out while the news is on?"

"No one expects the Spanish Inquisition,"

"Exactly. I'm not in the mood. I hope I smell like really bad day old pee so you'll stop."

"I'm not going to stop," he challenged as he continued licking my pussy.

I sighed, "Will you get off me. I need to get to the gym."

Sugar Daddy, Fuck Buddy or Married Man?

OK, so I'm not having sex with married men any more, but now that I'm newly single, there's part of me that wishes I were.

I know, I know, I know, it's bad karma, it's wrong and to a certain degree morally dubious, but the more I think about it, the more that it sounds like an ideal thing for me now. I want someone who has with little involvement with me. I want to fuck someone and have it mean nothing other than the fact that we're both horny.

What I'm looking for now is a fuck buddy; maybe slightly more than a fuck buddy - but definitely not a boyfriend.

I want a guy in his late 30's to early 40's. I want a handsome, self-assured, wealthy white-collar type that is ambitious and good in bed. Actually, now that I think about it, maybe I'm looking for a suger daddy-type situation. Does that make me a whore for wanting that?

I want to go out with some guys who will take me out to a lush dinner-- think Michelin Star restaurant. A guy who will buy me a few drinks then take me back to his place and fuck me. Just so you know, I like to get fucked (at least) twice in one night.

I want this fuck buddy / sugar daddy scenario happen 1-2 days per week. But I also want some perks. You know, perks like - for the guy to get me a taxi home (and pay for it). I want him to surprise me with a fantastic gift occasionally. What sort of gift? Anything from jewelry, Nintendo Wii, Designer sunglasses -- basically I want some nice swag that I wouldn't think to buy for myself.

Maybe what I'm looking for is everything my past relationship wasn't? In any case, I wonder, is there anyone out there that fits my requirements? e-mail me: me@naivelondongirl.com

Jim Gets Nasty

Subject: RE: query
From: xxxxxxx@hotmail.co.uk
Date: Mon, August 10, 2009 3:05 am
To: me@naivelondongirl.com

OI! YOU BETTER DELETE THOSE POSTS AS I TOLD YOU TO OR I'LL HAVE YOUR BLOG SHUT DOWN
YOU RACIST BITCH

"Jim" you really do not want to threaten me. You asked me for help and I offered my opinion. My guess as to why you don't have a girlfriend is that you're a nasty piece of work.

You are one bad day from starting a shooting spree in LA Fitness. "The motive in the LA Fitness shooting appears to be gender-based, with website postings under his name spouting his intense hatred toward women and aggravation at rejection." Sound familiar?

ALso I would like to ask you to reconsider having sex with me. You do not know what the sex will be like. If it is indeed a 'bad' unfulfilling experience then you can be more reassured that asian men are not right for you. But there is the chance that it will be fulfilling.

Be thankful that I concealed your name, e-mail address and picture.  I won't be so kind next time.  Your IP address has been noted, if you persist I will warn the authorities.

Now please fuck off.

Asian Men, White Women follow up with Jim

Dear NLG:

I will answer your questions a bit later.

At the moment I do not meet many women or people for that matter as I rarely go out. So the only ones I approach are the ones I see when I do go out.

But people are not in general willing to talk to strangers like me so nothing has ever come out of this and so I have to ask myself whether it's time to stop because I have to draw the line somewhere.

What I want to ask is whether you know any women who would actually be interested in me. You yourself have said you wouldnt fuck me so thats clearly a dead end. I'm not interested in prostitutes for example. That will not help me to develop
relationships and i dont like the whole idea. So it would have to be a situation where we both agree to fuck with no strings attached.

Finally, I cannot change the fact that I am an ''average looking korean guy''. So whether or not that appeals to women is their business and not mine. Similarly your face may not appeal to me so there has to be a mutual appeal.

-Jim

Hello again Jim,

It would really help if you answered the questions in my last post to you.

I'm not sure if I know of anyone that is interested in you? I really need to know more about you in order to help. My foremost question is: Are you looking for a girlfriend? Or are you just looking for someone to have sex with?

An obvious answer is, have you tried internet dating? Granted, it is a numbers game. And it IS more difficult for men to succeed at internet dating then women. In order for me to recommend a dating site for you, I need to know what sort of women you're attracted to.

I don't want to bring this down to race, but I'm curious, are you trying to date white women? Or are you trying to date other Korean women (I have made the assumption that you're Korean)?

I'm asking you this because most "ethnic minorities" (I hate that phrase, btw) have their own internal networks for dating. If I went to my mom and said, "I want to meet and date a handsome black man, do any of your friends have single sons?" I would immediately be plugged into a network of (hopefully) dateable black bourgeois professionals / BUPPIES.

Are you able to do the same? Maybe instead of asking your mom, you can ask your sister, brother or cousins if they can hook you into some sort of community match making scheme.

Now, if you're trying to date / have sex with white women. That is a whole different kettle of fish! Depending on where you live, it can be difficult; but not impossible.

Also, have a look at the video above.

I'd like to refer you to a few articles:
What do white women like best about Asian men?
Why do Asian women prefer white men?

Hope that's helped.

Cheers,
Anjelika

If anyone else has any other questions they'd like answered e-mail me: me@naivelondongirl.com

Agony Aunt: 25 and Can't Find Women

Dear NLG,

My issue is that I am a male and 25 however I am being sexually punished by not having sex. No woman wants me. I cannot find women. And all women who I try to talk to and approach put me down and reject me. I realise I am far from the only one with this problem but this only depresses me even more. can you help me please?

You may ask me for more information or any other questions about me.

-Jim

Dear Jim:

Thanks for your photograph.

I don't speak for all women, just myself so it's always wise to get a second opinion.

As I have previously stated The way I see things is that I generally put people in one of three categories:

Category 1: You're fuckable.
Category 2: You're not fuckable.
Category 3: I haven't met you.

At the risk of repeating myself, being fuckable more or less indicates that in the right circumstances I'd fuck you. For instance, lets say you're my buddy or even someone I've met recently. You're in a relationship. Your woman is out of town. We're both drunk. We're at dinner. There's lots of flirting. Yes, you'd be totally fuckable. I'd probably eat my dinner thinking, "I so want to fuck you." Most likely, however, I wouldn't follow up on it. There are a myriad of reasons for me not wanting to follow up. Those reasons range from fear of rejection to guilt about possibly ruining a relationship, etc.

So even if my loins were on fire AND we were both outrageously flirting with each other AND I was drunk, I wouldn't make a move or give you any indication that I'm interested unless... you make the first move. I know, that's quite bad of me. Well, I never claimed to be Miss Moral. Although I do like the idea of being Miss Oral ;-)

If you're in category 2, there is no such circumstance that could ever happen where I'd want to fuck you. Generally, people in this category include, 95% of my women friends, guy friends I've had for 10 years or more, all of my family, most of my gay male friends. In addition, this includes guys that I do not find sexually attractive.

Having looked at your photo you fall into category #2.  Don't worry, I know that the photo posted here isn't really you. The readers here need a visual picture, so I went through an archive of photos and picked a shot that vaguely resembles you. Apologies if I got it horribly wrong.  You look like an average-looking Korean guy. This doesn't do it for me personally, but I'm sure there are girls out there that would want you.

Without getting to know your personality, it's difficult to dissect what is going on.  There are so many different questions I have:

1. What sort of women do you want?  
   
2. What's your type?
   
3. Do you want just sex?
   
4. Are you looking for a relationship?
   
5. Are you a virgin?
   
6. Are you going on dates regularly?
   
7. How far do you get with women before they turn you down for sex?
   
8. Are you shy?
   
9. Are you a confident guy?
   
10. Are you happy with your looks or are you looking to improve?
    
11. Do you own property?
    
12. Are you rich?
    
13. Do you still live with your parents?
    
14. What sort of job do you have?
15. Do you have a car?

I don't know the answers to all of these questions but to give you a thorough answer I would really need to know this.

To add to my previous theory.  If you're a guy in category 1, fuckable, then mentally, I put you into 3 subcategories:

Subcategory 1: Marriage Material

Subcategory 2: Date / meal ticket / fuckbuddy

Subcategory 3: Friend

There is never any ambiguity here.  If I fuck you right away (first, second or third date) then you're automatically relegated to subcategory 2. Date / meal ticket / fuckbuddy.  My current boyfriend and I waited 4-5 weeks before we did the deed. Amazing, eh.

My point to all of this is: Maybe all the women you are dating either consider you unfuckabl. OR maybe they only see you as a friend. OR maybe they see you as marriage material and are holding out; that might be a stretch though.

If you are not getting women it is probably because your are not an attractive prospect!  

The top things I look for in a guy are:

1. Confidence - Is he at least confident enough to ask me out? I don't have time for shy guys.  If you can't ask me out then I'm not interested.  I'm not a mind reader.

2. Solvency - Amil said it best in that Jay-Z song, Can I Get a Fuck You:

You ain't gotta be rich but FUCK THAT
How we gonna get around your BUS PASS

Fo' I put this pussy on your mustache

Yes, like any woman I would love a rich guy, who wouldn't? Being rich isn't a prerequisite for dating me. I'm a realist.  I know that the really rich guys are gonna go for the chicks who are hotter than me.  I want to be with a guy who is at minimum solvent.  Owning property is a plus- not a requirement.  I want to be with someone who will splurge and take me out occasionally. Remember my boyfriend Pete- the one who disappeared on me.  He was so skint and cheap that he only spent £15 a week on food.  He would never buy me a drink at a bar because I earned more money than him.  Don't follow that example.

3. Looks - You have to be attractive.  If you're not physically attractive then you have to be either insanely rich or a celebrity.  Somehow, in the game of love good looks is not required for celebs and rich people. They live by a different set of rules.  I don't understand it, it just works that way.

4. Virility- There is something amazingly exciting about a guy so virile that I can smell the sweat and cum dripping from him.  

Do you have the confidence, solvency looks and virility? It's hard to figure out without having met you.  I fear that I may be getting out of my depth answering your question so I'm gonna point you in the direction of Doc Lov He's got a something called, "The System" which is supposed to be fantastic at picking up women.

How about you try it out and let us know how it works for you?

Good Luck,

Anjelika

If anyone else has any other questions they'd like answered e-mail me: me@naivelondongirl.com

Holes in the Condom

New Podcast episode: Holes in the Condom



"He wants to have sex with me and poke holes in the condom?"

• Wanda goes psycho
  
• Anjelika gets f*ck buddy
  
• Anjelika finds a man
  
• Online dating.
  
• Fetish
  
• Swallowing
  
• Shout outs
  
• Banksy
  

Listen on Mevio: http://www.mevio.com/episode/158809/Holes+in+the+Condom

Direct line to media Click here

Listen on iTunes

GoldieCocks

I'm a bad girl. I skipped the gym Saturday morning. Instead of my usual Saturday morning gym routine I was invited by Suzanne Portnoy to the Good Food Show. I usually shower at the gym, but since I was skipping it, I took a shower at home. It was the perfect excuse to use the shower head massage to get me off. I noticed that the pressure on the shower head was not good. Over the few years I've had it has gradually become worse with less and less water shooting out of it.

It took a real effort, but I finally came. It just seemed a shame that I had to work at the shower head orgasm when it's almost always a sure thing. Need to look into replacing shower head.

I drove to Earl's Court to meet Suzanne. On the way I got pulled over by the fuzz under section 44 of the Terrorist Act. Apparently, it was a "random" search. Of course I'm not a terrorist. Are random searches really effective? I mean if they were seriously looking for terrorists pulling over the horny lady in the crazy car is not a good move.

I was shitting bricks because I don't yet have my UK Drivers license. (Can you believe I have to sit the drivers' test all over again? I've only been driving for 14 years. Whatever). Shit. I thought I was snagged. After they called my license plate into the DVLA. Then I really started panicking. Had I paid all my congestion charges and parking tickets? Would they notice that my name is majorly misspelled on the registration? (Even though the misspelling was their fault, I never bothered correcting them.

The pigs didn't seem to be bothered by my New York State license. They asked me how long I've been in the country. "Oh, 6 months," I lied. They said OK and after 20 minutes they let me go on my merry way. This made me even more late to meet Suzanne.

Of course it was great seeing Suzanne. We sampled the many foods at the show. Ice cream, bread and olive oil, mango chutney, oysters. We chatted about blogging and the men in our lives. I was able to relax when hanging out with her. I had even forgotten about my run-in with the police until.

Afterwards I walked back to my car and saw that it had been clamped. I hadn't put enough money in the meter. Fucking Kensington and Chelsea. It wasn't a great day for dealing with authorities. £110 later I was on my way.

Back at home I watched some crap TV on More 4. I was bored, chatting on Twitter and fingering myself. I was amazed how wet I was. It was so easy to slide my fingers from my clit to my hole.

Sunday morning I woke up way too late. As soon as I woke up I used my vibrator to get myself off. After I came, I fell back asleep for a half hour. I woke up, masturbated again then finally got my ass out of bed. I missed my aerobics class at the gym. I decided not to go altogether.

I spent too much time on Twitter (again). Then I started feeling horny. I ended up watching this video (nsfw) then taking my laptop back into the bedroom so I could use the vibrator two more times.

After running some boring errands I came back to the flat. I shaved my pussy, then I used the shower head massage on it. I was clean, hairless and horny.

I got in my car drove to my new fuck buddy's house. All you need to know about him is that he's a cute white guy with glasses and that he's twenty years old. The ten year difference didn't bother me since we're only fucking. I don't think I could seriously date a twenty year-old guy. Guys in their twenties want to fuck and have fun. Women in their thirties want to settle down. I know that's a sweeping generalization, but there's a lot of truth in that.

What really freaked me out was that he looked like a young version of the BFE and the DG. If you recall from my earlier posts (2006) the DG is the 'doppleganer' of the BFE. And the DG of the DG is... well, that's another sotry. New Fuck Buddy's eyeglasses were even similar to the BFE's. The fact that New Fuck Buddy looked remarkaly like the BFE didn't bother me. What bothered me was that I seem to be attracted to a certain "look" and I can't break out of it.

New Fuck Buddy laid me down on his bed. He pushed my pink thong to the side and began eating me out. He wasn't able to make me cum in 7 minutes. We're going to need to work on his oral skills. I can be paitent. I'm happy to let him practice on me. He ate me out for nearly a half hour. It was pleasurable, but I didn't cum. I thought it was sort of funny that he didn't take his glasses off while he was eating me out.

After the pussy eating I told New Fuck Buddy that I want to feel his cock inside me. He took off his boxers. His cock was rock hard. He gently eased his cock into my pussy. We start pumping each other. There was something that struck me as exciting: His cock was a perfect fit into my pussy. It wasn't too big. It wasn't too small. It was absolutely the right size. Behold, I've found GoldieCocks. Not only was the size right, it was perfect. It fit me like a glove. I don't think I've ever experienced anything like that before. I don't know how to explain it. It's sort of like being fitted for a bra; and once you get the right size it feels good and you wonder how you could have been wearing the wrong size for so long.

The fucking felt great. It was unexpectedly good. Not that I expected it to be bad, but sometimes when you're with someone new the very first time you have sex it's awkward; but not in this case. GoldieCocks kept pumping me. I could tell he was enjoying it too. Sadly, it didn't last very long. He came quickly, probably within 5 minutes. I was only slightly disappointed. I have patience and would like to work with him to increase his fucking time.

He leaned back on the bed. I stuck my head under the covers and began sucking him off and sticking a finger in his anus.

It was a pleasant way to spend an evening. I went home feeling horny. So now that I've written this blog entry I'm gonna make myself cum for the 6th time today.

Fuck Buddies and Internet Dating Sites

"It got to the point where I probably fucked every guy in the UK on Nerve."

"I've only been there for a week and I already have 500 guys on my block list."



Direct link to show Podcast: Fuck Buddies and Internet Dating Sites

With special guest best-selling author Suzanne Portnoy
http://www.suzanneportnoy.com

• "Daddy's Girl"
  
• Writing an erotic novel
  
• Internet dating
  
• J-Date http://www.jdate.com
  
• AfroIntroductions http://www.afrointroductions.com
  
• MySingleFriend.com
  
• InterracialCupid http://www.interracialcupid.com
  
• Adult Friend Finder http://www.adultfriendfinder.com
  
• Bad, internet dates
  
• Fuck buddies
  
• Jewish Guys and Black Women
  
• Nerve.com
  
• Long distance dating
  
• 3-week rule
  
• STD / STI
  
• Craig's List
  
• Swingers Parties
  
• Drama Queens
  
• The Butcher, The Baker, The Candlestick Maker
  
• The Not-So Invisible Woman
  
• It's Your Problem

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Tongue in My Ass?

Tongue in My Ass?

Sunday is a natural day of rest. I woke that morning thinking about one or two previous lovers and how good their cunnilingus skills had been. It was 11AM I was horny. I could try and pick up someone from Craig’s List or called anyone from my short Fuck buddy list. but my bedroom was so messy, I couldn’t be bothered cleaning it. I’m sure by the time I’d finished cleaning my room my horniness would have worn off.

In lieu of a fuck buddy I resorted to my ever-faithful Wahl vibrator. It comes with 7 attachments. I’ve lost 5 of them. There’s only one attachment that gets me off so I always use it.

I didn’t take my panties off. Direct stimulation can sometimes be too much. Instead I left my panties on and placed the vibrator on top of my clit. The feeling was extremely pleasurable.

One weird thing happened: The closeer I got to cumming, the more that I wanted to feel the sensation of someone tonguing my ass. I don’t know why I wanted it but I craved a tongue in my ass.

I’ve only had 3 guys who dared to venture into what Sex and the City would call, “Tuchus Lingus” Analingus. Or to be blunt, ass-licking.

I didn’t necessarily want my ass licked. I just wanted to feel a tongue penetrating my anus. Is that a weird request to make to a guy? Are there guys that like doing that? I know I’m quite an open person, but I feel embarrassed asking for it. Then comes the matter of reciprocation. I don’t think I could reciprocate. I’d really have to know the guy well to do that. I don’t even think I would have done that with the BFE.

Possibly my hang-ups about asking for analingus are linked to the fact that I won’t reciprocate. Guess I have a bit of a mental block there. It does leave me wondering, however, if there are any guys out there who would be fulfilled by licking my pussy and ass without expecting anything in return?

Fuck Buddies and Sex Clubs

Anjelika: "I'm going to a sex club!"

Wanda: "I don't really want to see you sucking someone off or getting cock up your ass."

Subscribe to our podcast on iTunes

or visit us on Mevio

Wanda and Anjelika chat about:
• Fuck Buddies
• Old Fashion Romance
• Affairs with Married men
• Why Guys Cheat
• Gifts and Golddigging
• WAGs
• Dog-walking
• Biking
• Velodrome
• Audience Perception
• Sex Club
• Having sex in front of your friends
• Sex during your period
• Bodily Fluids