Saturday Date with the Black Doctor

Black bourgeois mothers are similar to Jewish mothers in that they're always pushing you to marry a doctor or a lawyer.  My mother was no exception.

Although she never met my ex-boyfriend, she assured me that she didn't have any problem with him being white.  That being said, merely weeks after my break up she called me to tell me that a retired schoolteacher friend of hers has a son.

He's a doctor.  A black doctor with "Good hair" (her words not mine). And he's single.  And he's due to be in London for a medical conference.  And it would be such a "big favour" if I showed him around the city on Saturday.

I tried to weasel my way out of it but then she laid a guilt trip on me about forgetting mother's day last year.  In my defence it's a different day in the UK than the US!

So I spent Saturday showing DeShawn around the west end.  DeShawn was 6 feet,  good body, "good hair", perfect teeth.  His skin was a few shades darker than mine.  He was courteous, polite and well-spoken.

He was 39, divorced with 1 child.  He specialized in internal medicine and lived just outside Atlanta.  He went to Howard and Johns Hopkins.  And despite his penchant for Tyler Perry movies, he had a cool personality as well.   On paper, he looked excellent, but I just didn't feel that spark of attraction.

I think, in some ways, I was/ I am still pining for my ex.  The ex, by the way, I heard in in hospital with swine flu.  I've been debating on whether or not to go visit him.

I digress, so DeShawn had the whole package.  Looks, good job, manners.  The thing about DeShawn that seemed really weird was that he was just SO NORMAL.  There was nothing weird about him.  He didn't seem to have and weird hang-ups.  Even his divorce ended amicably. He's on good terms with his ex-wife and good friends with her new husband.

DeShawns life is all about smooth seas and calm waters.  I, however, am like hurricane Katrina.  I will fuck your shit up if you get too close to me.

Maybe he will be the one that got away? I'm sure, however, there will be some sista out there who will be very happy to meet him.  He claimed that he has trouble finding smart intelligent black women. But surely Atlanta is buzzing with them, no?  

I dunno, DeShwan seemed to be a good guy after a relationship.  At this moment, I'm not the type of girl looking for a relationship.  But I just didn't have the heart to tell my mother that right now, I only want to fuck.

Date #14 You Talk Too Much! You Never Shut Up!

Date #14 You Talk Too Much! You Never Shut Up!



Ok, remember this song from Run DMC? Well that was how my date was last night. We met in a pub in Soho. The date started out with promise, but then he kept talking. And kept talking. And kept talking – about himself! He hardly ever asked anything about me. I couldn’t get a word in edgewise. So since I couldn’t talk, I drank, and drank and drank. And the next thing you know I’m drunk and really hungry. He still has a full pint of Leffe. He’s hardly drinking his beer because that would mean he’d have to STOP TALKING.

I finally had to grab the bull by the horns and say, “Drink up! I’m hungry!” I’m sure this made me sound like Miss Bossy Boots, but I did not want to drink anymore alcohol on an empty stomach.

While walking to a restaurant I kept thinking, “Why am I still on this date?” But the hope of a free meal kept me going.

Mr.Talk Too Much just got out of a relationship. He works in IT. He misses his old flatmate. Most of his friends and family are getting married. All of this information is good to know, however the amount of pointless shit that I had to sit through to get this was incredible!

By the end of the date, I was positive that he wasn’t interested in me. In fact, I think he’s really only interested in himself. As we said goodbye at Piccadilly Circus he asked what I was doing over the weekend. That was the first question he asked me all night.

“Nothing planned yet. Doing some revision. Hanging out with Doggums. Re-writing my book.”

“Well, if you want to do something on Sunday, let me know.”

Hmmmmm now how do I interpret that? Is he actually interested in going out with me again? Or is he saying that because it’s the polite thing to say at the end of a date?

I’ve noticed a trend in dating. Guys try to line up a second date at the end of the first one. Now that would be cool, if the second date actually came to fruition, but since it hasn’t most of the time with me, I’m wondering if it’s a throw-way line. Or the modern-day equivalent to, “I’ll call you.”

I got a text from him while I was traveling home on the DLR. He thanked me for a lovely evening. So maybe he’s interested, maybe he isn’t. Who knows. We’ll see how this goes…

That Elusive Second Date

That Elusive Second Date

I’ve always been under the impression that I’m a great first date person. Recently, I’ve been having problems getting to that second date stage. The first date goes well and the second date just doesn’t come into fruition.

Last week I had a date lined up for every single day. Seven dates in Seven days. Out of those 7 dates 4 of them canceled. What’s going on there?

Sunday Date: Went well.

Monday Date: Stood up. We made plans for Monday and he just didn’t show up. Didn’t call. Didn’t text. Not only rude and inconsiderate, but to make it worse a waste of my time. Usually I’m apt to giving people a second chance, but I’m not going to waste anymore time on this guy. I'm blocking him from my MSN.

Tuesday Date Went well.

Wednesday Date Went well.

Thursday Date He forgot! Remember my Bald Eagle? As great as our date went the previous week I was forgotten this week. We made plans to grab a drink after work and then he forgot to show up. He called the next day to apologize. He also asked me out for tonight. I still feel skeptical about this, but I'm going through with it.

Friday Date His father was sick. I suppose it’s a plausible excuse? At least he called in advance.

Saturday Date He texted me on Wednesday to tell me that he had the flu and couldn’t make it on Saturday. I love getting lots of notice, but how does he know that he still would have been sick? I asked him if he wanted to reschedule, but there was no response. How weird.

So now you men see what us women have to put up with. Whether these excuses are true or not, you can see how it makes dating more difficult. In any case I’m not mad or bitter. I am just moving on.

Still I wonder, how many first dates will I go on?