Monday, April 05, 2010

Wanda, Jesus and the Smelly Fanny

Anjelika says, "If you're new to Naive London Girl you should subscribe to my RSS feed here, or have new content delivered directly to your inbox here. Follow my Twitter updates here. You should also subscribe to my sexy podcast here. Join my Facebook fan club here. And please vote for my podcast which has been nominated for Best Lifestyle Podcast here. If you have any questions? You can e-mail me here. Thanks!"

Wanda and I chat about: Ketchup for the chips, Bad muffins, GPs, Wanda and Jesus, Agony Aunt & Smelly Fanny, Fuck Buddy, Fingering gloves, Madrid, Politically incorrect meats, Mojitos, France, Erotic Asphyxiation

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"He just slips his hand up between my legs."

"I wonder if he had a stinky hand?"

"Do you love it more than anal sex?"




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Sunday, November 22, 2009

The Art of the Premeditated Coincidence

Anjelika says, "If you're new to Naive London Girl you should subscribe to my RSS feed here, or have new content delivered directly to your inbox here. Follow my Twitter updates here. You should also subscribe to my sexy podcast here. Join my Facebook fan club here. And please vote for my podcast which has been nominated for Best Lifestyle Podcast here. If you have any questions? You can e-mail me here. Thanks!"

The Art of the Premeditated Coincidence

“Every man in London should wear zipped fly jeans just in case I need to give an emergency hand job.”

I did some research and used some reasonable deduction to guess that the BFE would be spending his one day off this month at the Imogene Heap concert at the Roundhouse. SOOTBEEF, must have appreciated that. Sootbeef being the Signifcant Other of the BFE.

I did sort of feel like a stalker, but I so pleased at my own detective work that I didn’t care. Imaging being able to pin point the location of someone who’s hardly even in London. And if it were my only day off, I sure as hell wouldn’t be at a concert. I'd be with my partner, at least.

I rushed in my car from Canary Wharf to Camden town. Amazingly I got a parking spot very very close to the venue. Shit. That’s good news and bad news. In Los Angeles they have a saying, “If you get a good parking spot you’re not getting laid tonight.”

Dave Navarro once joked that the theory explains why he’s not getting laid: He parks right outside of his house.

Maybe it’s different in London.

I walked up to the table holding the guest list and announced my name. I tried to peer onto the list to see if the BFE had been comped too, but I couldn’t read the list upside down.

I grabbed my ticket and ran up the stairs. I felt so rushed. So hurried. In my mind the BFE was already here and I just had to find him. I needed to find him before the show started and the house lights went down. I felt like a dork looking for him without appearing that I was looking for him. I went to the bar and ordered a drink, a Coke. I was somehow convinced that a holding a drink would make me look less conspicuous.

This is the time when I envy smokers. Let me be clear. I have never smoked. I hate cigarette smoke. I hate kissing smokers. I hate cigarettes. But when I’m by myself and I don’t want to look like the sad pathetic unaccompanied fool I am, there’s nothing that I want more than to have a cigarette between my fingers. There’s something about being alone that seems okay if you’re smoking. Without a cigarette you just look like you’re loitering.

I entered the main concert hall and thought, “If I were the BFE where would I be standing?” I surmised that he would be in front of the mixing desk. It was 10 minutes before show started I nearly reached panic mode. I furiously scanned the crowd for his face. I couldn’t get in front of the mixing desk because the area surrounding it was packed with people. Shit. I’ll never find him. Maybe he’s not even here. As I beagn walking to a less crowded area there he was. I spotted him. He was standing with a mate.

A surge of excitement went through me. Yay, my detective work paid off. I wasn’t really yet to face him. So I quickly ducked away. I went and got another Coke. At the bar I practiced in my head my, “Oh fancy meeting you here,” voice. No matter I said it, it sounded contrived.

By this point Imogene started playing, “Goodnight and Go.” It seemed eerierly appropriate considering the stalkerish nature of the song.

I went back to the area he was standing and he was gone. Had he seen me and absconded?

The music started. The house lights went down. Shit. It was going to be hard to find him again. I walk over to the let side of the venue and there he was. His back was to me. How do I get his attention without it appearing that I’m trying so hard?

I resolved to simply tapping him on the shoulder.

He turned around. Initially he looked like he didn’t recognize me which seemed really, really odd. He looked at me, turned away and looked at me again.

“Oh hey” he said sounding surprised.

Conveniently his mate left us in order to talk someone working at the show. So there we were BFE and I alone together (amongst 2000 people) watching the concert.

“I don’t mean for this to sound rude but, have you lost weight? You look really fucking hot tonight.” Ohhh the magic words. “In fact I have” I answered. I was lying, but when you get a compliment like that you should just roll with it.

See, when you’re planning to bump into someone coincidently you want to look extremely good. This includes bumping into Exes, Anti-Ones and old bosses. You have to look fuckable. You have to look like good enough that they regret every time they didn’t call you back.

Similar to the Radiohead show, we initially were standing feet apart, but by the end being very close.

He was wearing butterfly’s again dammit. His trouser selection is going to be the end of me. I wanted to reach down his pants and feel his cock. I couldn’t get to it. Every man in London should wear zipped fly jeans just in case I need to give an emergency hand job.

“I have to get up early. Early flight. I’m going,“ he says non-chalantly

Fuck!

“Wanna ride home?” I offer.

He sends his friend a text to say he was leaving. We left after “Hide and Seek.” Normally I love that song, but this time, I couldn’t wait for it to be over.

We exited the venue and walked to my car. I felt all tingly inside. Could the Los Angeles Parking Theory be wrong?

As we approached my car he took his hand into mine. He then raised both his hands to my face and started kissing me.

“We shouldn’t be doing this,” he said stopping suddenly.

And then in my one moment of clarity in the whole BFE situation I said, “Your right,” and backed away.

He paused for a second. He backed me into the car. He was pressing against me. It felt great feeling his body weight on mine. He then looked deep into my eyes and said, “We need to make a date so I can come over fuck you and eat you properly.”

Yes, that’s exactly what I wanted.

I’ve always considered myself as a strong woman, but the intent look gave me broke my resolve. It was like he was seeing into me; seeing into my soul. At that point he could have asked me anything. ANYTHING and I would have said yes. And I hate that he has that sort of grip over me.

We soon got in the car. I drove him back to his house. It was a nice ride because he fingered me the whole way.

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Sunday, October 25, 2009

He Fingered My Pussy While I Sang

Anjelika says, "If you're new to Naive London Girl you should subscribe to my RSS feed here, or have new content delivered directly to your inbox here. Follow my Twitter updates here. You should also subscribe to my sexy podcast here. Join my Facebook fan club here. And please vote for my podcast which has been nominated for Best Lifestyle Podcast here. If you have any questions? You can e-mail me here. Thanks!"



Humor me. I know I can't sing, but yes, I recorded a song. Why? Because I was asked and because I like a challenge.

After recording this song with Igor Montenegro (where is he these days?) I had a new respect for singers. Singing in tune was a challenge. Using the auto-tune was a challenge. Singing in French, a language I love, was a challenge was well.

We recorded this song in his attic which he had turned into a recording studio. While I was singing, he was fingering my pussy. Perhaps this was to get the best performance out of me? I didn't mind. I actually really liked it. I found him fingering me thrilling because his wife and kids were in the room downstairs. Did I feel guilty? Nope.

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Monday, October 05, 2009

Fingered, Spanked, Fucked and No Hand Shandies

Anjelika says, "If you're new to Naive London Girl you should subscribe to my RSS feed here, or have new content delivered directly to your inbox here. Follow my Twitter updates here. You should also subscribe to my sexy podcast here. Join my Facebook fan club here. And please vote for my podcast which has been nominated for Best Lifestyle Podcast here. If you have any questions? You can e-mail me here. Thanks!"



Anjelika: "I woke up and he was fingering me."

Wanda: I've got whole blog on people who bamboozled me and your name comes up time and time again."

  • What happened in the kitchen stays in the kitchen.
  • Fucked in the Morning
  • No Cock in My Hand
  • Wanda Wigglesworth
  • Wanda gets asked out
  • Dating married men
  • Getting rid of distractions
  • Spanking
  • Fingered in my sleep
  • Forgetting the Safe word
  • Israel and Palestine
  • Judaism
  • J-date
  • Shout Outs
  • Hen parties
  • Wanda is a good shag

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Sunday, May 24, 2009

My Mother Loves Me

Anjelika says, "If you're new to Naive London Girl you should subscribe to my RSS feed here, or have new content delivered directly to your inbox here. Follow my Twitter updates here. You should also subscribe to my sexy podcast here. Join my Facebook fan club here. And please vote for my podcast which has been nominated for Best Lifestyle Podcast here. If you have any questions? You can e-mail me here. Thanks!"

A few days ago I was chatting to a girlfriend of mine the the North who works for the NSPCC. For you Americans, that's the National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children. We were speaking about the Baby P case. In general she was saying how it's a tragedy that the system had failed the child. We went on to speak about Fritzl case which we both found incomprehensible.

I sighed and said, "Wow, I guess I'm really lucky to have really caring parents; let alone ones that didn't abuse me."

As soon as those words came out of my mouth I suddenly had a flashback:

When I was 14 years old I went on holiday with my family to the Bahamas. My parents had bought a time share in the Catskills but had traded for a week in Nassau, Paradise Island. The timeshare unit had 2 beds. Being a family of four my brother shared a bed with my dad. I shared a bed with my mother.

During one of the nights of the holiday I was asleep. I was awoken because I felt someone prodding me. I opened my eyes and realised that my mother had reached under my nightgown, had maneuvered her hand past my panties - I still remember exactly which panties I was wearing: sky blue with a 5 rows ruffles on the back - and she was sticking her finger in my vagina.

It didn't feel sexual. It felt sort of weird and clinical. For some reason I was convinced that she was checking that I was still virgin. I had had my first ever boyfriend that year and she had taken me (against my will) to the obgyn for a pelvic exam and to get birth control pills. I wasn't having sex, but I guess she was being the responsible parent? Anyhow, I was so freaked out about the pelvic exam that I waited until LAST YEAR to get another one. But that's another story.

So, my mother's finger was prodding my vagina. It felt strange. I was pretending to be asleep. I guess I was a bit too confused, unconfident and sleepy to say, "Mom, what the hell are you doing?"

It only happened that one time. I've never mentioned it to her nor anyone else in my family. All these years I have remained convinced that she was checking to see if my cherry had popped. Why else would she do that? But this morning I started thinking about it again and thought that there must be less invasive ways she could have found out that I was still a virgin? (Assuming that was her intention.)

I don't feel mad or upset about it. I love my mom. Really, I haven't thought about it much over the 15 years or so since it happened. I sort of feel like she was doing it out of love. Is that sort of weird and fucked up? Has that happened to anyone else. E-mail me confidentially: me@naivelondongirl.com

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Sunday, March 29, 2009

Nicht So Horny

Anjelika says, "If you're new to Naive London Girl you should subscribe to my RSS feed here, or have new content delivered directly to your inbox here. Follow my Twitter updates here. You should also subscribe to my sexy podcast here. Join my Facebook fan club here. And please vote for my podcast which has been nominated for Best Lifestyle Podcast here. If you have any questions? You can e-mail me here. Thanks!"

I'm in Berlin now with Adam, who I met in Dublin several weeks ago. He's the one that took me on the shopping spree.

We're staying at a 4-star hotel in a tourist district of Berlin. I arrived here Friday night. He's here at the hotel waiting for me. We have dinner in one of the hotel restaurants. I haven't eaten lunch and I'm starving. I order the most expensive thing on the menu; the steak. I don't order it because it's expensive, but because it seems like it will be the most filling.

After eating we go up to the hotel room. It's 1AM Im exhausted. I just want to sleep. I don't feel horny which is bizarre because I'm always horny.

Adam undresses. He has a smirk on his face that indicates that he knows he's getting laid. He's probably been thinking about this all week. He's probably been masturbating while thinking of our last oral encounter.

He gets in the bed. I'm not in the mood. I can't fake it. I can't go through with it. I tell Adam I'm too tired to have sex. I felt weird. I haven't heard from him all week and now he expects me to fuck me? I just don't feel as comfortable with that.

Adam lays in the bed next to me. His fingers are between my legs. He pushes my pink lace panties to the side and fingers me.

"I can feel you getting wet," he says

I lay there like a dead fish.

"Listen, I'm really tired. Can we do this tomorrow?" I ask.

"You are SO wet." He moves from his side of the bed and climbs on top of me.

"Look, I feel really passive. I was up at 7. I'm exhausted now."

"But let me just tease your pussy a bit?" He pushes my legs apart and tries to ease his cock into my vagina.

I raised my voice, "I am going to get really angry if you don't get off me!"

Adam obediently rolls off me. "I'm sorry," he says sheepishly, "I know I was very naughty."

He returns to his side of the bed.

"Good night," I say.

I fall asleep. An hour later something feels weird. I look up and notice Adam is standing up. At first I think he's hovering over me. I turn on the light and see him sneaking out of the hotel room.

"What's going on?" I ask.

"I need to sleep in total silence. I'm sorry, but your snoring is bothering me. I'm just going to get another room."

"Oh, okay," I say, feeling tired and confused.

He exits the room and I fall back asleep.

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Friday, November 09, 2007

I'll Drink to That...

Anjelika says, "If you're new to Naive London Girl you should subscribe to my RSS feed here, or have new content delivered directly to your inbox here. Follow my Twitter updates here. You should also subscribe to my sexy podcast here. Join my Facebook fan club here. And please vote for my podcast which has been nominated for Best Lifestyle Podcast here. If you have any questions? You can e-mail me here. Thanks!"

I'll Drink to That...

I only drink when there’s at least a 20 percent chance that I’m going to get laid that night. Otherwise what’s the point? I don’t really like alcohol. And if alcohol didn’t facilitate getting laid I would give it up all together. Alternatively, if there’s a 100 percent chance I’m going to get laid there’s no point in drinking either.

Thursday, for example. No alcohol, 100% orgasm. Stan came over at 7:30. I was still in my work clothes but luckily I wore a low-cut top to work.

After a quick drink of water we headed to the bedroom. I took off my tank top and trousers. I stood before Stan in my matching pink Victoria’s secret bra and panties. He looked up and down my body. He was fully clothed. I climbed on top of him, rubbing my naked pussy against his jean. I could feel his cock bulging from underneath. We continued our dry humping for a bit.

“I think you should move that,” he said pointing to my pussy, “up here.” He pointed to his mouth.

“No,” I demanded. I want to be on my back.

I rolled on back. He rolled on his stomach. He lowered his head down to my nether regions and began licking my clit. The licking felt good, but it felt even better when he inserted a finger. He had very good fingering skills.

After a small orgasm, he rolled over on his back, I rolled on top of him. I pulled down his trousers, then pants and rubbed my bare pussy against his cock. Felt so good. I came again just from that.

I gave him a hand job, but my hand got tired so he had to finish himself off.

I went to bed feeling somewhat satiated, but wanting more

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Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Blow Jobs, Public Orgasms and Confronting your Lover's Wife

Anjelika says, "If you're new to Naive London Girl you should subscribe to my RSS feed here, or have new content delivered directly to your inbox here. Follow my Twitter updates here. You should also subscribe to my sexy podcast here. Join my Facebook fan club here. And please vote for my podcast which has been nominated for Best Lifestyle Podcast here. If you have any questions? You can e-mail me here. Thanks!"

Blow Jobs, Public Orgasms and Confronting your Lover's Wife


ANJ: Have you ever fingered yourself on a train?
WANDA: No! I've never fingered myself in public!
ANJ: I have fingered myself on a train-
WANDA: Have you? Going from where to where?
ANJ: From London to Manchester. Virgin... hardly

Wanda and Anjelika chat about...

Have you ever fingered yourself on a train?
- 5 Things that annoy Anjelika
- Getting turned on, on the train
- Blow job techniques
- Moral Quagmire: Should you confront your lover's wife?

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Sunday, March 25, 2007

Cum in my Hair: Finger Fucked in Mayfair

Anjelika says, "If you're new to Naive London Girl you should subscribe to my RSS feed here, or have new content delivered directly to your inbox here. Follow my Twitter updates here. You should also subscribe to my sexy podcast here. Join my Facebook fan club here. And please vote for my podcast which has been nominated for Best Lifestyle Podcast here. If you have any questions? You can e-mail me here. Thanks!"

Cum in my Hair: Finger Fucked in Mayfair

I’ve been thinking a lot about the Chaos Theory.

For the first time this year I actually felt sad immediately after a very good sexual experience.

A few weeks ago Wanda asked me to go with her and another friend to a sex party at Club Rub. Despite my wicked past, I’m not into orgies. Yeah, of course I have had a few but with people I know. There seems something a bit weird and sleezy about group sex with people you don’t know. At the same time, it also seems really exciting. I’m too chikenshit to partake but I figured it would be a good experience just to watch.

Last week I started thinking about the party. I was beginning to change my mind. I called into the radio station LBC during Iain Lee’s show asked on air what I should wear to the party.

As soon as I hung up from being on air a friend of mine rang. It was the same friend who delivered the nightie to CS. She said that just as she was leaving Eagle Eye’s party. Eagle Eye got a job at a rival network and was having a leaving do.

I decided to go to the party. I realized that I may be entering enemy territory as far as CS was concerned, but I sort of didn’t care. The only problem was that I was wearing a really horrible jumper. That morning something told me to wear a skirt to work. But since the cute guy was away on holiday I figure not point in making the effort, eh?

It was nearing 9:00 and all the department stores were closed. In a moment of genius I found the nearest branch of my gym went in and bought a severely overpriced pink long-sleeved pink Nike shirt. I would have paid twice the price for it as long as I looked good at the party.

In the gym locker room, I put on the shirt and a bit of make up. I spritzed my hair with water ran back to my car. I drove around the block before and found parking on a side street not too far from the pub.

All eyes turned to me as I entered the pub with my dog. A few old colleges let out a little squeal, “Oh Anjelika!” It feels good to be welcomed. I almost felt like Norm from “Cheers.”

Even though I hated working on that World War II documentary, I really missed the people I worked with. Stephanie was there and looked fantastic as usual. CS was there as well. I knew he’d be there. Eagle Eye is one of his best mates. CS and I both actively avoided each other. I don’t think we were ever on the same side of the room at the same time. The weird thing is, I didn’t care. I totally didn’t care. I stared at him from across the room and he no longer seemed good-looking to me. He seemed boring and blah. There was no mystery to him. His hair didn’t look good either. His dashing blond hair was brown and dull.

This time last year he and I were kissing in Prague. Amazing how things change in a year/

A few face were missing from the party. D-Mac wasn’t there. Apparently he left a few minutes before I arrived. BKFITW quit the month before and the Cockblocker had fucked off back to Australia.

As I was making my rounds through the pub and catching up with various old co-workers, I spotted the DG from across the room. Our eyes met and I smiled back at him. He made his way through the crowded pub towards me. We embraced. He gave me kiss on both cheeks and asked if I wanted a drink. I was driving that night and Doggums was with me and I couldn’t figure out if I wanted to drink or not. There was part of me that wanted to be drunk and silly. Yet the other part of me needed to be responsible.

The DG was good. He seemed like his normal cheery self. I remember hating my job then, but looking forward to seeing him smile and say hello to me. It’s funny how you get used to things and how you can as easily get un-unsed to things.

While the DG was getting my drink, I talked to my old buddies in production. Everyone seemed well and happy. No drams, no gossip. It was good to catch up and feel like one of the gang again.

The DG returned with a glass of wine for me. He put his arm around me and gave me a squeeze.

“You look really good.” He said.

“Oh thanks,” I replied, not really taking in his compliment.

“No, you look really good.”

I smiled back. Thank God I bought this overpriced pink shirt instead of wearing that monstrosity of a jumper. I’m sure he wouldn’t be saying that I looked good then.

The DG and I continued talking about work. Out of the corner of my eye I saw CS trying to kiss Jaz, while a small crowd was egging him on. I had wondered if he were doing this to make me jealous but I kept thinking. Been there. Done that. Why bother kissing him in public when he can eat me out in private. I rolled my eyes and refocused on the DG.

The DG was saying how he’d been looking for me online all week, but I wasn’t there. “Oh yeah.” I said quite flippantly, “I’ve been busy, you know”

“I’ve been thinking about you. A lot. I miss you around the office. Come back and work here.”

“Let me know if there’s a position available.”

I put my arm around him. We embraced. Out of the corner of my eye I see CS pointing a video camera in our direction. I give CS a pointed look then turn my attention back to the DG.

The DG puts his hand around my waist. I pull away knowing that CS is filming.

“We’re being filmed.” I whisper to him. The DG turns around
“Let’s move towards the back.”

As we squeeze our way to the back of the pub Doggums tries to follow. I pick her up just so she won’t feel scared from all the people towering over her.

As we squeeze by the DG accidentally brushes against might left breast.

“Oh, so I bet you’re going to tell me that was an accident, eh?”

He smiles. “Accidents happen. Do you remember that time when I accidentally touched your boob.”

“A few seconds ago?”

“No, when you first started working here. We were here in the pub. There were only 3 of us here.”

“No. Still doesn’t ring a bell.”

“I brushed up against you, accidentally. And you pointed it out and said I did it on purposes.”

I stare at him as if he’s tyring to tell me something compeltley untrue.

“I’m sorry I don’t remember. Well, that’s when I first fancied you.”

“Oh my god?!? You fancy me?” I say genuinely surprised and in a hushed tone.

“Of course I do.”

I feel shocked. I mean I know he liked flirting with me, but I put it off as him being a big flirt. I didn’t realize that he actually fancied me.

“Well, I have a little confession of my own to make,” I say coyly, “I have a little bit of a crush on you too.”

I set Doggums down on the ground and the DG and I hug again. I hope no one here is keeping track of the amount of hugs that we’ve shared this evening so far.

Doggums gets starts barking and I feel like I should go home.

I look at the clock on the wall. “What time are you catching the train?” I ask him.

He’s vague, “Oh yeah, I’m just catching a late one. They run all night. Did you take the train here?”

“No I drove.”

“Ah.”

“Have you seen my car?”

“In pictures, not in person.”

“You have to see it. It’s fab.”

I pick up Doggums with one hand and carried my glass of wine with the other. We all squeezed our way to the front of the pub. We exit the pub. Strangely it’s a warm winter night. Feels like spring. It’s one of those nights were it’s just warm enough that you don’t need a coat.

I set Doggums down and the DG and I walked around the corner to my car.

“Very nice,” he says.

I set my wine glass on the curb and follows suit with his beer glass.

“I was going to get a Volkswagon Polo, but I thought this suited my personality more.”

“I love the color. It really does suit you.”

“Thanks.”

And in a moment of shared madness, I turned towards him, looked into his eyes and moved my mouth towards his. We kissed. It was slow. Passionate. Beautiful. He cupped his hands around my face as we kept kissing. It was awesome.

There’s nothing better than kissing someone you fancy for the first time. Shit, that kiss I had with the BFE on our first state has to be one of the best kisses ever. My kiss with the DG is a contender for the top three.

In the middle of kissing I suddenly had a reality check:
A. He’s married
B. We’re a stones throw from the pub and anyone could see us
C. He’s a friend who I admire and respect.
D. His poor wife

Then out of nowhere, my morals, which had been on a semi-permanent vacation kicked in.

“We shouldn’t be doing this,” I said. “We can’t do this.”

I backed away. He pleasant and respectful in agreeing with me. As I went to pick up my wine glass to head inside I said to him,

“Don’t get me wrong, kissing you is great but, it’s just….”
“I know…”
“But if it’s any consolation, I’m really, really wet now.”

Before I can pick up my glass he grabs my hand and we start running down the empty street. Doggums follows. We turn the corner into an alleyway. He backs me into a brick wall grabbing both my hands, and kisses me.

“God, you’re so beautiful,” he says.

He kisses me fervently and even though one or two people walk past we don’t care. He lets go of my hands and I take his glasses off his face setting them down carefully. We continue kissing. I wrap my arms around him and he wraps his arms around me.

It all feels amazing and then my morals kick in again. And even though I don’t want to stop. I have to. He seems understanding. I pick up his glasses for him. We walk back to my car. We pick up our wine / beer glasses and head back inside the pub.

I suddenly felt so weird. As if, I were in some parallel universe. I couldn’t believe this was happening. I never imagined a day where I’d be making out with the DG. I chatted with a gay pal, the Impaler for a bit. He looked good.

“So does the DG still fancy your boobs. Especially in blue satin?
“Shhhhh! Dude. That’s a secret and he’s right behind us!”

I feel totally weirded out. Out of the corner of my eye I saw CS a few feet from me. He was sitting down at the table with his head buried in his hands. I almost felt something for him then. There’s something cute about a guy being vulnerable. Whatever it was I quickly snapped out of it.

“I’m going home.” I announced. It just felt too weird being there. Being there with the DG who I just made out with. And CS who I used to make out with. It was as if my past, present and future were all there at once.

I put on my coat and waved bye to the DG.

“You’re leaving?”
“Yeah, I gotta go” I answered.
“Wait for me. Just wait 15 minutes.”

I looked at the clock on the wall.

“Okay.”

I spent another 15 minutes chatting with Stephanie, Fred and the Impaler. As the last call bell sounded more and more people left the pub.

The DG and I were among the last to go. He asked me for a ride to Kings Cross. I said yeah.

Having a 2-seater cer is great. It means that you never have to offer a ride to more than one person. And even though there were a couple more people who needed to go to Kings Cross, they would just have to take the Northern line..

I put the dog and the dog bed in back. The DG and I got in the car and began the short drive to Kings Cross.

In the car he reaching over and kissing my ear and neck. It felt good. Fuck it felt so good. At the red lights we’d turn and kiss. I used to hate couples I’d seen doing that, now I was one of them. I started to lose my concentration on the road.

“I’m going to have to pull over,” I told him.

I looked for a quiet deserted street where we could park. Ironically enough, it happened to be in Mayfair.

On a dark, tranquil street I pulled the car over. We continued kissing, but quickly it progressed. He lifted my shirt up and reached for my breast. He released my left breast from my pink bra and began sucking on it. He nibbled my nipples just the right way. I almost came from the way he nibbled on them.

We continued our kissing and I reached for his belt buckle furiously unfastening it. I reached down his pants and found his cock. It was rock hard. I somehow felt victorious finally getting it. For a cock it was beautiful. Pristine and uncut. I assumed the position and place my mouth just on the head of his cock. I suckelekd it just a bit before lounging it down my throat. .

He began breathing heavily and sighing with pleasure. The car windows steamed up. I cupped his balls with my right hand.

I sucked him off until he was at breaking point. Then I strategically stopped.

I unbuckled my jeans. He pulled down my pink panties and began fingering me. With the small amount of space in the car it was hard to get into a good position to get fingered. So I didn’t cum. But I somehow didn’t mind.

I wanted to mount him but he insisted that we didn’t fuck. I sure wanted to even thought I knew it was wrong.. He rubbed his cock against my pussy but didn’t dare enter.

I sucked him off. He played with my boobs for a bit more. Then I gave him a hand job and he came on my tits.

The amount of cum that landed on my body was amazing. Probably a record as far as the guys I’ve been with goes.

He was silent after he came. The atmosphere was weird. It’s as if we’ve both been though some strange experience. As if we were war buddies walking back to the base after a humiliating defeat.

We drove on to Kings Cross. He kissed me passionately again before he got out of the car.

It all would been romantic if I didn’t have cum stuck in my hair.

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Sunday, January 14, 2007

Finger fucked at 70 MPH

Anjelika says, "If you're new to Naive London Girl you should subscribe to my RSS feed here, or have new content delivered directly to your inbox here. Follow my Twitter updates here. You should also subscribe to my sexy podcast here. Join my Facebook fan club here. And please vote for my podcast which has been nominated for Best Lifestyle Podcast here. If you have any questions? You can e-mail me here. Thanks!"

Finger fucked at 70 MPH

Part 2 of Crusty Cock.... is coming soon. I've had a new adventure since then so enjoy!

On a whim I instant messaged D-Mac. He’s a pal of mine that worked at the same company as me when I was working on that World War II documentary. Remember back then? Gees, that must have been June something.

D-Mac is totally cool. He’s my drinking buddy. He’s also good friends with CS (my ex-boss married tranny) but that’s neither here nor there. D-Mac a genuine guy.

I’ve started work on a new programme. It’s a three part series about video games. My research means I get to try out lots of games. Not just the latest video games, but games old school ones as well. This week I spent hours playing Pac Man on an Atari 2600 then I jumped to playing Zelda on the Wii.. Played some BurgerTime on Intellivision followed my one of my all time faves Super Mario Brothers which I STILL cannot beat. Next I went onto the Turbo Grafx system playing J.B. Harold Murder Club. Then I tried some Gallega on the BBC Micro. So yeah, it’s been a good week. I love doing “research.”

I have another few weeks of “research” to do then I’m doing some pre-interviews of a few gamers that may be in the series. It’s a lot of fun so far. MUCH MUCH better than that fucking World War II doc. So yeah I’m having a good time and I can’t believe they’re paying twice as much as the World War II doc. It’s like money for old rope (I just learned that saying the other day, btw).

I’ve had to do a lot of this research outside London. There’s a software company that has a backlog of most of the British and American old school video game consoles. So I’ve been coming here for the past week for my “research.”

Every day I drive past the old workplace where I was doing the WWII doc. So on a whim I instant messaged D-Mac and asked if he were drinking after work. He wasn’t planning on it, but said that he would get a few people together.

After my hardcore “research” yesterday I picked up the dog from the crèche and drove back to the old broadcast company where I used to work. I found a parking spot relatively close to the pub where I used to drink. I felt somewhat reminiscent. God, I spent so munch time (and money) in that pub. I used to ALWAYS be in the pub after work. Now that I’ve moved jobs several times I don’t feel that I’ve formed any close bonds with new people I work with. I miss the old place. I miss my old buddies. As much as I hated working on that documentary, I had a fantastic time working with the people there. I do sometimes wonder if I should have stayed there. Is it worth doing a job you hate because you love the people?

The French have this fantastic way of saying I miss you. Vous me manqué. That literally translates to. “You are missing from me.” And that describes precisely how I feel. I don’t miss the people I used to work with. They are missing from me. There’s part of me that isn’t the same because I no longer see them on a daily basis.

The slightly good news is that one of the cameramen I used to work with there is now working with me on video game documentary. And there’s also a sound engineer who’s there as well. Familiar faces are always nice.

I walked into my old stomping grounds and saw D-Mac at the end of the table. There was also Eagle Eye’s girlfriend. She is such an amazing person. There was my old drinking buddy. You know, the one who sent me his pic in response to my gumtree ad. {link} Then sitting next to D-Mac was CS. Shit.

That was jarring. I honestly had not expected him to be there. First of all we agreed not to speak to each other for six months. Secondly, every drinks night I’ve been to since I left the company he was not there. CS’s wife has him on a tight leash. He always has to be home at a certain time. He always has to have his phone on him. I think I see who wears the pants in that family. Ha! I just realized how funny that is given his situation – the thing about the pants that is. Anyhow, so in order for him to be out later than 7:00 PM he need s a green card from his wife. Not a green card in the American sense. But green card in the sense that he has a green light to stay out for a while. It seems rare that he gets a green card. Or sometimes he’s travelling to Prague for work.

So I was just plain shocked to see him. The good thing was, that actually wearing the sweater / jumper and skirt that he loves. He says it his favourite outfit of mine. I was wearing a pink cashmere sweater / jumper. It was tight-fitting. You could faintly see the outline of my pink Victoria’s Secret bra underneath. I was wearing a pink & mauve coloured tiered peasant skirt. {pic}. (Weird that some random person has a picture of my skirt on the net, eh?)

We didn’t talk initially. I didn’t make eye contact with him. I couldn’t make eye contact with him. I honestly didn’t know what to say. Perhaps, “How’s life been since our public cunnilingus session?”

Luckily, I had my dog with me. She’s a great ice-breaker. Sadly, the dog was constipated and had the worst gas. Her farts were deadly. Well, at least that’s ice breaker as well.

I talked to CS a bit in the pub. Obviously we couldn’t talk about ‘us’ but he kept asking me, “So how are you?” And I kept answering, “I’m really good thanks.”

He seemed to get along with my dog and my dog seemed to get along with him. Actually, my dog got along with everyone. I love how people fawn over her.

CS started a conversation about Aussie Rules Football. Boring. He droned on and on and. I zoned out. He started drunkenly singing the Australian National Anthem. The dog was getting restless. He had the farts. I just felt like I had to leave. So around 9:00 I packed up my things and left.

Before I left CS asked me twice if I wanted a drink. He was standing alone at the bar. I had to walk past him to exit the pub. He just sort of looked at me with some longing. It was the look of lust. The sort of look that said, “Leaving so soon?”

In a way, I wanted to stay; stay and see if something developed. On the other hand I felt that CS was soooooooo 2006. I don’t want to bring shit from 2006 into 2007.

“You’re leaving?” he asked.

“Um, yeah. The dog’s restless.”

“See ya.”

“Yeah, see ya, whenever.”

It was an awkward exit. It shouldn’t have been. I guess it was. I felt somehow that I should give him a hug before I left, but all his colleagues were here. Didn’t seem right.

I took the dog outside. Her farts were really bad. I took her to the grassy knoll next to the bar and just stood there waiting for her to poop. He kept sniffing around looking for the perfect spot. I realized that a half hour had gone by and she was still sniffing around and had not pooped.

I found myself looking at the pub door. Waiting and hoping that CS would come out.

Finally I was so cold I hopped in my car. I have a 2-seater. A Mazda MX (Mazda Miata for all you Americans). I sat in the car a further half hour and finally he came out.

I beeped my horn. He looked over.

“You want a ride to the station?” I asked.

“What are you doing here? I thought you left.”

“I was waiting for the dog to poop. And I was talking on the phone.”

“Oh? Ok, yeah, to the station.”

I threw the dog bed in the area behind the seat. I put the dog in his lap.

“Which station?” I asked him

“T.C.R.”

“That’s so close. What overland station do you need to go to?”

“Waterloo.”

“Then lets go there.”

He grabs my Sat Nav. He seems a bit too drunk to work it. He however doesn’t seem more drunk than when I usually see him. He maps out a route to Edinburgh. He then declares that we should do something spontaneous and crazy. This seems uncharacteristic of his personality to make such a declaration. So I one-up him and say that we should drive to Guilford.

“That’s far from here you know.”

“I know,” I say with a devilish glint in my eyes.

As I’m driving I’m reaching for his cock. He’s wearing jeans. My hand cups over his jeans by his bulge.

“Unzip it.” I demand.

“No. Oh no. That’s a very bad idea.”

“I know.”

He doesn’t unzip his jeans. But I’m patient as I know we have all the way to Guilford to go.

After driving out of central London with hit a highway. I’m not sure which one. The highway is completely deserted. There’s hardly anyone else driving on it. I’m doing 45 MPH.

I’m distracted because I’m feeling for CS’s cock. He reaches behind my back and attempts to put his hand on my butt. He’s slightly constrained by my pantyhose. He soon decides to reach around front.

He pulled his hand from behind me. He reached up my pink skirt and worked his way down my pantyhose. He fingers my clit and it feels SO good. He moves his faster and faster.

“Now do 70,” he demands, “If you don’t do at least 70 I’m going to stop fingering you.”

I open my legs wide, slouch slightly in my seat and mash my foot on the gas pedal. He moves his finger into my cunt and begins finger fucking me.

“Jesus, you so wet!”

I’m getting really worked up. I start breathing heavily. He gets turns on even more. I hold the steering wheel with one hand and reach for his cock with my other hand.

He gets really into it. He nuzzles my shoulder in a really cute and vulnerable way. I feel almost like I should hold him.

I need to pull over. I look for a deserted shoulder. All the shoulders a filled with trucks / lorries. We drive a bit further but then we suddenly arrive at our exit. Luckily right near the exit there’s a restaurant with a deserted parking lot. I pull into the lot and find the most secluded spot there. Unfortunately it’s next to a dumpster but that was the least of my worries.

As soon as we pull over we put the dog in the back. I lift up my skirt pull down my panty hose. I unbuckle his belt. I pull down his pants. The car is so small it’s difficult to manoeuvre around. I can’t even bend forward and give him head.

As I pull his cock out he says, “Not matter what happens DON’T let me cum. If I cum it’s cheating. If I don’t it’s not.”

What sort of fucked up logic is that? It’s all cheating. I wasn’t, however, prepared to debate this giving my current state of horniess.

I feel his cock. It no longer feels crusty. It now feels leather-like. Huh? What’s going on down there?

He continues to finger fuck me. Then he tells me that he wants to eat me. I LOVE MEN WHO LOVE EATING PUSSY! He slips his finger in my mouth so that I’m sucking up my own juices.

He dives nose first into my pussy. He licks my clit while putting one finger in my ass and another finger in my cunt.

The finger in my arse feels surprisingly good. There’s something about having a little backdoor pressure.

It does feel a bit creepy as the dog starts licking my hand at the same time.

I tell him that I want him to wear my pink skirt and fuck me.

I cum uncontrollably. I cum three times and he wants to lick me out more. I have to push him away to get him to stop. I was sooooo satisfied that I didn’t care that he didn’t fuck me.

I wanted to reciprocate by going down on him, but he wouldn’t let me. He got out of the car. The dog jumped out after him. He lit a cigarette.

“Shit I am in so much trouble! What time is it?” He asks?
“What time were you supposed to be home?”
“9.”

I checked my watch, “It’s 12:30.”
“Shit.”

“What am I going to tell my wife.”
“Tell her your battery died.”
“That’s too big of a lie to tell!”
“It’s believable.”
“I know. I’ll tell her that D-Mac turned my phone off.”
“Why would he do that?”
“I don’t know. Shit!”

He finished his cigarette. We embrace.

“Hey. It’ll be okay,” I say. I didn’t totally believe that. At the same time I didn’t totally care. Now that I’ve cum he’s not my problem.

I drop him off at a mini cab place close to his house.

We kiss quickly. He hops out of the car. He waves good-bye.

My dog growls slightly, but I think that means she misses him.

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Wednesday, November 15, 2006

There's Nowhere in Mayfair to get Finger Fucked

Anjelika says, "If you're new to Naive London Girl you should subscribe to my RSS feed here, or have new content delivered directly to your inbox here. Follow my Twitter updates here. You should also subscribe to my sexy podcast here. Join my Facebook fan club here. And please vote for my podcast which has been nominated for Best Lifestyle Podcast here. If you have any questions? You can e-mail me here. Thanks!"

There's Nowhere in Mayfair to get Finger Fucked

I should know. I had a failed attempt there a couple days ago. I met up with the DG of the DG not to be confused with the DG (If that makes any sense). I guess I should explain.

The DG is a doppelganger of the BFE
The DG of the DG is a doppelganger of the DG

In other words, they all sort of look alike.

I am using some hyperbole here. I'm using Doppelganger to mean vague or passing resemblance instead of it's literal mewing, "double" Anyhow if you knew me personally, you would see how this is in accord with my sense of humor.

Actually, it's quite funny. I haven't seen the DG of the DG in quite a while. When we met up, I didn't recognize him at first. You think I would eh, since he looks like two other people I know!

I digress.

The DG of the DG and I were both dying to get in each others pants. Just thinking about him going down on me got me all wet. I had to pick up my dog before I met him. So not only were we both dying to get in each other pants, there was a small highly excitable lap dog suspiciously eying up him up.

The three of us walked all around Bond Street and Mayfair looking furiously for a dark corner; a dark alley, where he could pleasure me, and I could pleasure him.

We did find a dark alley for a few minutes, but it was behind a restaurant and proved not to be all that private. Even for that few minutes it was great feeling his cold fingers on my warm clit. I was so horny. Really, I just wanted to fuck him. It’s weird being horny sometimes. It’s like having an itch that MUST BE scratched. And then even after you scratch it you just want more.

The DG of the DG fingered me for a few minutes and then the dog got jealous. Steady now! He began barking and yelping and jumping up and down and wanted my attention. It’s hard getting finger fucked when there’s a small dog yelping at you.

After searching for another 15 minutes we gave up. I was looking for a tiny quiet street. It was after we went our separate ways that I found it. Derbyshire Court.

The BFE and I had some playful moments on Derbyshire Court (and the surrounding areas) at the beginning of the year. Thinking about it brings back some warm fuzzy memories. There were a lot of firsts that night. First date. First kiss. First shag. The kiss was particularly memorable. As our tongues met I was able to simultaneously reach down his trousers and put my hand on his balls; and I did it inconspicuously enough so that no one in the very expensive cocktail bar noticed. The amount of passion, desire and sexual tension between us was incredible. Probably the highest I felt all year. That will go down as one of the top ten best dates ever.

I remember I was wearing this really, really short black & pink tartan skirt with hold ups underneath. Even though it was January and freezing I wanted the BFE to have open access to my fanny. And in those cavernous walkways around Derbyshire Court he backed me into the wall, reached up my skirt, pulled aside my pink Victoria’s Secret thong and thrusts his hand into my pussy. Bliss.

Months later we ran each other through the emotional wringer. The situation had the potential to end very, very, very badly, but it didn’t. I’m so pleased with myself that I didn’t become “that bitch.”

You know who “that bitch” is. She’s that ex you had that deliberately made your life hell. She was immature, bossy and more importantly thought you deserved to suffer for the break up. I didn’t want to be that girl. More importantly, I didn’t want to lose a friend.

I’m just so incredibly pleased that there’s been a happy ending to this. Sort of like that Gwen Stefani song, “Cool” In any case I’m glad I have those warm fuzzy memories to look back on. And I’m happy that we’re still mates. Or as Gwen would say:

And after all the obstacles
It's good to see you now with someone else
And it's such a miracle that you and me are still good friends
After all that we've been through
I know we're cool


Yeah, yeah, I know, song lyrics in blogs are lame. Mea culpa. That’s the last and only time.

Okay. It’s my bed time.

Peace Out!

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