Date #5 My Cute Bald Englishman

Date #5 My Cute Bald Englishman

Finally, I’ve been asked out by someone English! Maybe English guys just aren’t attracted to me? I don’t know. I don’t at all mind being asked out by other nationalities, but it does seem weird that I live in England and this is my first English guy since I’ve started this internet dating thing.

I met my Bald Eagle at a pub down the road from where I work. He was charming, warm, funny and a damn nice guy. We both share a passion for the gym. The three hours we spent together felt like 3 minutes. I know that’s so cliché, but that’s how it felt.

There was definite chemistry there. Probably not as much chemistry as the Australian guy, but I also had a lot less to drink this time around. We left the pub after our third drink. We kissed just outside of the tube station. His lips were soft, tender and I felt good in thinking that he’s the sort of guy I’d like to kiss again.

Date #2 Aussie Rules

Date #2 Aussie Rules

It seems ironic that the whole time I lived in Australia I never got asked out by a guy. I just assumed Australian men just weren’t attracted to me. Which brings me to Date #2 an Australian Ex-pat living here in London working in IT.

The first thing that struck me was that he’s tall. 6’2” He really towers over me. He’s a financially secure work-a-holic. He’s done quite well for himself. He’s a property millionaire, but he hasn’t given up his day job.

We met in Soho for drinks. We talked about traveling, Australia, politics, the middle east, George Bush, John Howard, etc. He seems to really like John Howard. I’m hoping he’s not a Tory. I could probably fuck a Tory, but date one in the long term? I don’t think so.

Now I knew I was somehow in trouble when he ordered a whole bottle of wine. I’m a 2-glass max kind of girl, so when I went on to my 3rd and 4th glass predictably I was feeling extremely horny. I kept wanting him to kiss me. Eventually he asked if he could kiss me. I answered, “Yeah, that’s cool,” as if it were the furthest thing from my mind!

While we were kissing he found my sweet spot, right in my ear. As he kept kissing my ear he was making more and more horny. Finally I had to tell him to stop; that, however, made him want me more. There we were sitting in the pub snogging each other and I was getting increasingly wet. He was so good at kissing that I could have fucked him right then and there! But no, no, I am in search of a husband, not an easy lay.

So I will be courageous and hope that he calls me again soon.

Casting Agent Dude

Casting Agent Dude

Friday was an easy day at work. Two meetings before 12 noon. I answered e-mails for a couple hours then at 2PM I was taken out to lunch by a casting agent who wants the job of finding talent for the next season/series of the show I’m working on. It’s all early days though so who knows if his company will get job. I was just in it for the free sushi lunch. Yum. Keep the shashimi rolling.

Casting Agent Dude was a half hour late. He was totally wired when he arrived. He was all over the place. He wasn’t able to focus on a single idea so luckily we got the business part out of the way first. We spent the rest of our 2-hour lunch gossiping about celebs (no one on his books though).

We went back to the production office where I introduced him to a few of my colleagues..

It was the last day of work for one of my bosses. Coincidentally, Casting Agent Dude knew this boss of mine. Said boss invited Casting Agent Dude to his leaving party.

Roll on 6PM, party at some swank restaurant / pub near Piccadilly Circus. Since the event was “corporate optional” most of my work colleagues were there. I’m sure the free bar helped retain the numbers. I had 1-2-3-4-5 count ‘em Marguritas. So by the end of the night I found myself flirting shamelessly with Casting Agent Dude.

He offered me some gak. I said no. But then I thought, why the hell am I saying no? It’s not as if Nancy Reagan is inside my head feeding me answers.

“Actually, yeah, I’ll have some. I’ve ever tried it before.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, never. I’ve never been offered it.”

“I’m offering now. But it’s your first time, you don’t want this shit. This isn’t good shit.”

“Okay,” I said sounding somewhat confused, “Um let me know when you have some good stuff.”

“Cool,” he said and sauntered off to the bathroom.

I left the club shortly after that.

I'll Drink to That...

I'll Drink to That...

I only drink when there’s at least a 20 percent chance that I’m going to get laid that night. Otherwise what’s the point? I don’t really like alcohol. And if alcohol didn’t facilitate getting laid I would give it up all together. Alternatively, if there’s a 100 percent chance I’m going to get laid there’s no point in drinking either.

Thursday, for example. No alcohol, 100% orgasm. Stan came over at 7:30. I was still in my work clothes but luckily I wore a low-cut top to work.

After a quick drink of water we headed to the bedroom. I took off my tank top and trousers. I stood before Stan in my matching pink Victoria’s secret bra and panties. He looked up and down my body. He was fully clothed. I climbed on top of him, rubbing my naked pussy against his jean. I could feel his cock bulging from underneath. We continued our dry humping for a bit.

“I think you should move that,” he said pointing to my pussy, “up here.” He pointed to his mouth.

“No,” I demanded. I want to be on my back.

I rolled on back. He rolled on his stomach. He lowered his head down to my nether regions and began licking my clit. The licking felt good, but it felt even better when he inserted a finger. He had very good fingering skills.

After a small orgasm, he rolled over on his back, I rolled on top of him. I pulled down his trousers, then pants and rubbed my bare pussy against his cock. Felt so good. I came again just from that.

I gave him a hand job, but my hand got tired so he had to finish himself off.

I went to bed feeling somewhat satiated, but wanting more

Sucker Punched

Sucker Punched

The Friday before last I went out on date with a guy from the internet dating service. The date was just sort of blah, you know. He seemed boring. And he had kids. I’m looking for a guy without baggage. We were chatting and I realized that my life has been way more adventurous than his. What a let down. I’m looking for a guy who’s life has been more adventurous than mine. I had to drink more to compensate for the fact that I was so bored. The date ended without any chemistry and I went home drunk on the tube.

A few people have written to me here either volunteering to be my next date or wondering why I’m going internet dating. To be clear, I have no problem getting laid. I don’t need an internet dating service to get laid. As long as I have my 34DD’s then I’ll have no problem getting laid.

I’ve had a year of sex with no strings attached fun. I want something more substantial now. I wanna fuck the same guy every day for the foreseeable future. So unless you think you’re relationship material. Don’t bother.

Last Thursday was my first drinks night out with work colleagues. There had been a drinks night a few weeks before but I was in hospital. So on this warm Thursday I had an early lunch. By the time we got to the pub at 6:30 I was drinking on an empty stomach. I managed to get substantially tipsy after a single glass of wine.

At drinks night, there was a guy from work there that I have the hots for. Let’s call him TJ (Tall Jake). You all should know me by now to figure out that my sole reason for going to drinks night was because I have the hots for this guy.

Unfortunately, Thursday was his last day at work- not last day for the week. Last day EVER. He got some bigger better job at a different network. Essentially, it was a do or die moment. Can you believe it? The one guy at work I have the hots for and he’s leaving the company! With my luck I’ll probably never see him again...

Our group of work colleagues became smaller and smaller because various people left the pub. I realized that I was in a very small group of people. We’d gone from 20, down to 4 and it was an excellent chance to chat up TJ. Unfortunately, I didn’t realize that I had competition. Blonde, Anorexic and Dumb (BAD) a co-worker with a bad dye job comes traipsing in. She had been outside smoking. There weren’t any seats left at our table so she sits on TJ’s lap.

FUCKING COCKBLOCKER!

Eventually TJ gets up because a mate of his arrives. He goes to the bar, orders a beer and chats with his mate. Meanwhile, I’m on my 2nd glass of wine and starting to feel quite drunk.

I chat with BAD and a few other colleagues for a bit. I eventually decide that I’m too drunk to stay there, so I announce that I’m going home. I get up from our table and head to the bar. I tell TJ I’m leaving and I wish him good luck on his new position.

Instead of a quick goodbye, we end up talking for an additional forty-five minutes. We exchange numbers. There’s total chemistry and definite flirting on both parts. You can tell if a guy is interested if he makes body contact and there was definite touching. He rubbed my arm, put his hand on my hip and touched my shoulder no less than 10 times. (Yes, I’m a loser for counting)

As our conversation was winding down, I stood on a stool near the bar.

“Ah-ha!” I declared, “Now I’m as tall as you.”

“I’m still taller.” TJ answered.

“Well at least we’re at eye-level now. I’m never eye level with any guy.” I bemoan.

“I know how that is.” TJ says calmly, “I finally have a girlfriend who’s as tall as me.”

Ouch! I’ve just been sucker punched.

Not that I was Facebook stalking him, but at least he could have mentioned the girlfriend thing in his profile.

What a waste of an evening.