Wanda Puts the FUN in Funeral

Wanda Puts the FUN in Funeral



Wanda and Anjelika discuss:
- Celebrity funerals.
- Chris Langham, the convicted pedophile
- Ken Campbell RIP


"Oh my god. Some calls you. You don't call them back. They die! He might have had something important to tell you!"

Stuck in My Vagina

Stuck in My Vagina - new podcast

“Between Ken Livingston and Boris Johnson the mayor I want to shag the most is Boris Johnson.” - Anjelika


“If I could get my head that close I would eat myself out most days.” - Wanda



Wanda and Anjelika chat about:

- Health and Safety
- The Myra Hindley Musical
- Smear Tests
- Condoms
Contraceptive Sponge
Promotions

Good News, Bad News...

The good news: I’m getting married! November 7, 2009
The bad news: I have no idea who the groom is!

Since my neat death experience I’ve been re-evaluating a few things in my life. I’ve come to a few decisions:

• I’m tired of just sleeping around. So I’m gonna stop doing it, with a very few exceptions. (Mr. MusicBiz being one of them)



• I don’t want to sleep with a lot of guys. I want to sleep with 1 guy for a sustained period of time.



• I’m now looking for a long-term relationship that will hopefully ultimately lead to marriage.

My goal is to be married by November 7, 2009. Why that date? It’s sort of random, but I figure I’ll need a year to get engaged and another 6 months to plan out he wedding. Who knows, maybe none of this will work out ot plan. The important thing is, I finally have a plan.

So from now on this blog will be about my great husband hunt.

I Almost Died Today

I almost died today.

Normally, I would take this time to rant about how Valentine’s day sucks, and how it’s all commercial bullshit and whine and moan about how I’m perpetually single and never seem to have a decent Valentine’s day. But you know what, I’m gonna skip a lot of that. (OK I’ve left some of it in) Really, I’m just happy to be alive.

In the wee hours of this morning I narrowly escaped a fatal car crash. I still can’t believe it. On the A40 this morning two joy-riders driving a mini (I presume stolen) were careening down highway. They were coming at me, fast. I figured I better change lanes so they can go past me. So I looked again in my rear view mirror and saw the Mini, just a few feet behind me. The Mini suddenly smashes into the center guard rail. Fuck! It ricochets from the centre all the way to the left-most lane.

Simultaneously, a Green BMW swerves to avoid the Mini and instead flips over the Mini. It spins around and lands upside down. This is only a few feet away from my car.

Holy shit! Both lanes of the highway are now blocked by the wreckage. I move my car further up a safe distance in case there is a fire. I was in shock. Completely nervous. I couldn’t even figure out how to dial for an ambulance. I actually dialed 9-1-1- which, by the way, doesn’t work in England. Then I tried 000, which I think is the emergency code for Australia. I took me a long minute to think 1-1-2.

I was trembling as I spoke with the police. They kept asking me where I was. I had no clue. I was on the highway, but I didn’t know where. “I’m a foreigner. I don’t know where I am,” I kept saying. They finally figured out my location and sent an ambulance , fire crew and the police.

I timidly gave a witness statement to the police once they arrived. The passenger in the Green BMW was stuck inside. Emergency services was cutting him out of the flipped over car.

“Is he going to be okay?” I asked the female copper who was taking my statement.

She looked grim. She gently touched my shoulder and said, “Thank you for your statement.” She ushered me back to my car.

I drove over to the Ex’s and cried on his shoulder. I was a nervous wreck. I leaned on his shoulder and we watched QI together. This strangely comforted me.

So instead of complaining this year that I’m yet again single on Valentine’s day, I’m just going to be happy to be alive.

Internet Dating is Shit

In this podcast:

- Anjelika talks about her Internet Dating experiences
- Should you try Anal sex before you die?
- Dating Men with Kids
- If you had 24 hours to live, what would you do?
- Toxic Friendships

The UK's #1 Sex Podcast
http://www.NaiveLondonGirl.com