Is it Wrong to Date a Guy with Braces?

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Anjelika, the Prude

Anjelika, the Prude



Wanda and Anjelika discuss:

- Can you be too picky
- Cancellations
- Dating problems
- Online dating
- Talk is Cheap

Date #17 Charming but Chubby

#17 Charming but Chubby

Guys, do yourselves a favour! When you put a picture of yourself up on a dating site, make sure the picture isn't more than a year old. The guy I went out with last night looked way different than his photograph. As it turns out the photo of him was taken in 2005! In the years since his picture was taken he's gained 4 stone and the lines in his face have increased.

He was a nice guy, but I really couldn't picture myself with him. I want someone a bit younger, a bit cooler. Dare I say, thinner? I'd hate to think that I'm sizest. And I actually do like guys that are a little overweight. I think that's so cute. But when they're pushing clinical obesity that's another story!!!

When I looked at this guy I kept thinking, "Dang, you're old!" He was probably 45 or something. And of course I've dated and slept with guys older than that. The difference was that those guys had a youthful exuberance.

My date last night was nice. He was charming. But I can't imagine it going any further. He bought me a really nice expensive meal which was very cool of him.

I feel sort of bummed out that I keep meeting he wrong guys. What's a girl to do?

No Teeth and Other Dating Tips

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Date #14 You Talk Too Much! You Never Shut Up!

Date #14 You Talk Too Much! You Never Shut Up!



Ok, remember this song from Run DMC? Well that was how my date was last night. We met in a pub in Soho. The date started out with promise, but then he kept talking. And kept talking. And kept talking – about himself! He hardly ever asked anything about me. I couldn’t get a word in edgewise. So since I couldn’t talk, I drank, and drank and drank. And the next thing you know I’m drunk and really hungry. He still has a full pint of Leffe. He’s hardly drinking his beer because that would mean he’d have to STOP TALKING.

I finally had to grab the bull by the horns and say, “Drink up! I’m hungry!” I’m sure this made me sound like Miss Bossy Boots, but I did not want to drink anymore alcohol on an empty stomach.

While walking to a restaurant I kept thinking, “Why am I still on this date?” But the hope of a free meal kept me going.

Mr.Talk Too Much just got out of a relationship. He works in IT. He misses his old flatmate. Most of his friends and family are getting married. All of this information is good to know, however the amount of pointless shit that I had to sit through to get this was incredible!

By the end of the date, I was positive that he wasn’t interested in me. In fact, I think he’s really only interested in himself. As we said goodbye at Piccadilly Circus he asked what I was doing over the weekend. That was the first question he asked me all night.

“Nothing planned yet. Doing some revision. Hanging out with Doggums. Re-writing my book.”

“Well, if you want to do something on Sunday, let me know.”

Hmmmmm now how do I interpret that? Is he actually interested in going out with me again? Or is he saying that because it’s the polite thing to say at the end of a date?

I’ve noticed a trend in dating. Guys try to line up a second date at the end of the first one. Now that would be cool, if the second date actually came to fruition, but since it hasn’t most of the time with me, I’m wondering if it’s a throw-way line. Or the modern-day equivalent to, “I’ll call you.”

I got a text from him while I was traveling home on the DLR. He thanked me for a lovely evening. So maybe he’s interested, maybe he isn’t. Who knows. We’ll see how this goes…

Date #12 Man or Minivan?

Date #12 Man or Minivan?

Yay! Finally I was able to get a second date. I was starting to think that there was something wrong with me. I’m a serial first dater. Even if the first dates go really well sometimes I just don’t hear from the guy again. What gives?

So even though I didn’t exactly have chemistry with Badly Styled and Boring, he had something none of the other guys had – reliability! He called when he said he was going to call. He never cancelled dates. He wasn’t flakey. And I’ll probably go out on a third date with him for the same reasons

Now, I know reliability is something I usually look for in a washing machine or possibly a tea kettle, however, the more guys I that date, the more I realize that reliability is an essential criteria.

I don’t want a guy who keeps me waiting by the phone (although I should point out that ‘waiting by the phone’ figurative, as I have been far too busy to do that). I don’t want a guy who keeps me guessing whether or not he’s going to ask me out again. I don’t want a guy to ‘forget’ that he’s made a date with me.

Do I sound like a horrible bitch for wanting a guy to follow up on his word? Are my expectations out of line?

I went out with Badly Styled and Boring again because he had the balls to ask me out again. He had the gumption to follow through. Who dares wins.

We went to posh Chinese restaurant. Excellent meal. We talked about lighthearted things over dinner. At the end of the date when we kissed, he put his hand on my breast. Can you believe I actually moved his hand away as if I were some prude?!? He’s really a nice guy, but there are no stomach flips. No butterflies. No weak-at-the-knee action.

As pondered by the girls from Sex in the City:

SAMANTHAI totally understand. You're not getting the stomach flip.

MIRANDAWhich is really just a fear of losing the guy.

CARRIEMaybe I'm just not used to being with someone who doesn't do the ever-seductive withholding dance

MIRANDABut there is an upside to being with a guy with no surprises. Steve is completely predictable but that's one of the things I love about him. He's just so comfortable and safe.

CARRIEAre you dating a man or a minivan?

I wish I had the answer to that one.

Date #11 Bob Saget’s Scandinavian Twin

Date #11 Bob Saget’s Scandinavian Twin

And I thought yesterday’s date was dog poo. Tonight’s date made yesterday’s look amazing. My date tonight was from Denmark. He looked like Bob Saget’s Scandinavian twin.

He was scientist and seemed very meticulous about everything he said. He would pause for up to a minute before he would speak. At first I thought this was related to English not being his first language. But then when he would speak English pour out of his mouth almost as if he were a native speaker.

He seemed to be quite fastidious. At the pub, he inspected his glass of beer for dirt. He kept looking down at my scar. It was just really awkward. The conversation felt forced. He seemed shy and reserved so I got the feeling that he didn’t like me or wasn’t attracted to me. I don’t know. He didn’t give me that warm feeling inside.

As soon as I left the restaurant I texted the Shark and said, “Finally, it’s over. Now when do I get your cock again?”

Date #10 Badly Styled and Boring

Date #10 Badly Styled and Boring

It only takes one or two stellar dates to make the other dates seem like dog poo. Tonight’s date was dog poo but only relatively.

I met tonight’s date along Canary Riverside. Somehow he was much cuter in his picture than he was in person – that’s almost always the case. He’s an I.T. guy. And you know how I love my I.T. guys.

When I first saw him I thought “Oh god his hair is too puffy.” Also he was wearing the second most ugly coat I’ve ever seen on a man. (A fur coat being the first). His coat was a three-quarter inch light brown leather jacket. It was soooooo 70’s. Sooooo Starkly & Hutch.

Then there was part of me saying “Hey give this guy a chance. You’re insulting his hair and clothes already. How picky are you?” He was a nice guy for sure but I just didn’t feel the chemistry. I wanted to feel it but I couldn’t manufacture something that wasn’t there.

Like a lot of I.T. guys his personality was a little dull. I wanted him to say something that shocked me. Something that seemed adventurous. Something that would cast him n a new light. But the only thing he said that caught me off guard was, “Ruby on Rails in the way of the future.” Um, okay!

He was a perfect gentleman and treated me to a pretty expensive meal. I didn’t look at the bill but some quick math made the bill out to be about £140.

I gave him a kiss goodnight aiming for his cheek. Next thing I know his tongue was rammed down my through. Ugh! Then another kiss. Double Ugh! One more kiss for the road. I had to pull away early. Too much tongue! The amount of tongue I was given was in no way equivalent to how well the date went. He must be optimistic.

As soon as I got off the tube he sent me a message saying that he had a fantastic night. Lucky him.

I’m starting to grow weary of all these first dates. And to think I have to go through it all again tomorrow.

That Elusive Second Date

That Elusive Second Date

I’ve always been under the impression that I’m a great first date person. Recently, I’ve been having problems getting to that second date stage. The first date goes well and the second date just doesn’t come into fruition.

Last week I had a date lined up for every single day. Seven dates in Seven days. Out of those 7 dates 4 of them canceled. What’s going on there?

Sunday Date: Went well.

Monday Date: Stood up. We made plans for Monday and he just didn’t show up. Didn’t call. Didn’t text. Not only rude and inconsiderate, but to make it worse a waste of my time. Usually I’m apt to giving people a second chance, but I’m not going to waste anymore time on this guy. I'm blocking him from my MSN.

Tuesday Date Went well.

Wednesday Date Went well.

Thursday Date He forgot! Remember my Bald Eagle? As great as our date went the previous week I was forgotten this week. We made plans to grab a drink after work and then he forgot to show up. He called the next day to apologize. He also asked me out for tonight. I still feel skeptical about this, but I'm going through with it.

Friday Date His father was sick. I suppose it’s a plausible excuse? At least he called in advance.

Saturday Date He texted me on Wednesday to tell me that he had the flu and couldn’t make it on Saturday. I love getting lots of notice, but how does he know that he still would have been sick? I asked him if he wanted to reschedule, but there was no response. How weird.

So now you men see what us women have to put up with. Whether these excuses are true or not, you can see how it makes dating more difficult. In any case I’m not mad or bitter. I am just moving on.

Still I wonder, how many first dates will I go on?

Date #8 Cardinal Sins: Mr. I-Read-Your-Blog (Mr. IRYB)

Date #8 Cardinal Sins: Mr. I-Read-Your-Blog (Mr. IRYB)

I have a cardinal rule: I never date anyone who read this blog or listens to the podcast. Those are the breaks. I do get a lot of e-mails (mostly from horny guys ) looking to take me out to dinner Or meet for a coffee, or a drink.

Part of the reason I do this is because generally the guys who read this blog and want to go out with me are only interested in sex. They want to have sex with me. Or they want me to write about having sex with them. I want a guy who can bring more to the table. Wanting to have sex with me isn’t a good enough reason. It should be about a meeting of the minds.

Secondly, I generally don’t put my picture up. I’m not shy about my looks, but really I don’t want to implicate any of the guys I’ve been with. Also, it would be a bit weird if everyone at work know. Most people at my work know anyhow, but not the big bosses. Because I don’t put my picture up the guys that read my blog / listen to the podcast have formed a picture of me in their minds. And if I were to meet them, I’d be competing against that perfect image in their head. I wouldn’t ever want to be a let down. Furthermore I wouldn’t want to go out with them and have them expect me to talk about sex the whole time.

So that’s the reason why in the past 18 months I’ve declined 94 dates from fans of the blog & podcast. Actually, the celebs I’ve gone out with have read the blog, so naturally I’ve made exceptions for them. But as far as civilians go, I’ve turned down every offer – that is until Wednesday. I actually went out on a date with one of my fans. (I hate that term, “fans.” It makes me sound arrogant and bigger than I actually am. But for lack of a better word I’m using it here.)

The funny thing is, I expected the date to be bad. Not totally bad, but I thought that we would be mismatched. I expected him to be an arrogant wanker.

I was pleasantly surprised to find out that Mr. IRYB is a lovely guy. Handsome. Sweet. Charming; the perfect gentleman. I’m not saying this because he’s potentially reading it. I genuinely had great time and enjoyed his company. Hopefully I’ll get to know him much better. And I can’t wait to kiss him again.

Date #7 Fishing from the Company Peer

Date #7 Fishing from the Company Peer

Yeah I know it’s morally questionable to sleep with someone from work; especially when he’s already involved with someone else. But it was the come hither stare on his MySpace profile picture that got me interested.

There was a dichotomy in the hard and raw essence of his photo compared to the tenderness and sweetness of meeting him in person. I was intrigued.

The sex was fab. Clearly, It was the best oral I’ve had since 2006. I think he went down on me for the better part of an hour. Of course, I had multiple orgasms. I had one super-intense orgasm. It was so intense that I felt quite satiated. It was strong enough of an orgasm that I could go another few weeks without sex. The only thing I can compare it to is having a really nice meal where you feel totally full and you think, “I can’t eat for days.” That’s sort of how I feel. I can’t fuck for days…

He’s a great guy and fantastic in bed, but ultimately he belongs to someone else. And I’ll be damned If I go through another BFE thing again!

Another shag could be a lot of fun, though.

Date #4 The Irishman with the Poncy Name

Date #4 The Irishman with the Poncy Name

He looked reasonably cute in his photos. Maybe too cute. He only had a passing interest in me until I mentioned that I had dated a celeb or two. Then he was all anxious to meet me ASAP.

We only met for forty-five minutes. This was the perfect amount of time to meet since I really wasn’t into him. He was the media type working at a competing channel. He kept telling me about how he used to run night clubs, do lots of coke and fuck models.

NOT HUSBAND MATERIAL!!!

He had a certain arrogance about him that made me want to punch him in the head. Why did I even agree to go out with him?!? The date was just long enough for me to finish my drink and to walk out of the pub with my dignity in tact.

Online Dating

Anjelika and Wanda Discuss

- Online Dating
- Anjelika's Wedding Date
- Flirting
- Anjelika's three dates
- Why Men Marry Some Women and Not Others

Date #1 He’s a bit like Boris

Date #1 He’s a bit like Boris

I’ve never understood the German-man / Black Woman thing. Think Boris Becker and his wife. It’s comforting to know, however, that other people don’t understand this conundrum either. See poll I asked my friend, The Voice of Reason about this. He says:

“u are the mother earth, or years of racism that makes u an object.”

In any case, I had a date with a cute German guy. Blond hair. Blue eyes. A couple years younger than me. He’s a professional shopper to the stars. “What? And you’re not gay?” Was my first reaction, but apparently he’s straight.

We met at a coffee bar in Canary Wharf for drinks. Things seemed to be going okay. Then we took the tube into central London. We eventually ended up at a Nandos.

Is it weird that a date took me to Nandos?

I mean we were just going to meet for coffee so anything on top of that seems like a bonus, right? We both ordered salads and spent much of the time talking. He wants to set up his own personal shopping business. Right now he works fulltime, but he wants to go freelance and pick his own clients

I like him, but there didn’t seem to be big sparks. I think we did have somewhat of a connection, but GermanShopperBoy seems too green. It’s like he hasn’t seem the world, or been on any adventures yet. He was perfectly nice. Perfectly sweet and all around a nice bloke, but he didn’t have that ‘edge.’ He didn’t have that “X-factor.” I dunno. I’m more than willing to go out with him again if he asks. I think I want someone more feisty?

Is it wrong that I kept wondering how big his cock was? I have a feeling that it’s really, really small. Of course that’s not a deal breaker. Ideally, I’d like a guy who was 6 or 7 inches.

Does that make me shallow?

Anal Sex Education

It's the 1-year anniversary of Naive London Girl, the Podcast! Wanda, Anjelika and Suzanne chat about: Blow jobs, Dating, Relationships, Anal Sex, Iain Lee and find Mr. Right.

Suzanne Portnoy
http://www.suzanneportnoy.com
Her new book, "The Not-So Invisible Woman" and "The Butcher, the Baker, the Candlestick Maker"

Edited and Produced by Mr. Charming.
(With sincere apologies to RTR)

Cocaine and Hot Lesbian Sex

ANJ: Did you cum in her ass?

JOE: It's been so many years since I've done it that I don't remember

ANJ: Do you wanna do it again? Do you wanna go upstairs right now and have anal sex? If I said, "Do you wanna go upstairs right now and have anal sex?" would you say yes?

Other topics include:

- Cocaine and Hot Lesbian Sex
- Anjelika doesn't try coke
- Free Cocaine on the NHS
- Anal Sex
- Lesbian Sex

The Best Lip Gloss Ever

The Best Lip Gloss Ever

Last year I really got into lip gloss. Maybe I had seen too many L’Oreal commercials, “Because I’m worth it.” As soon as I acknowledged my passion for lip gloss there began the quest to find the ultimate color.

Looking back, I can say I was a bit obsessed. Ever time I went into Boots, Duane Reed, CVS, Super Drug, Giant Foods, Tesco, Sainsburys or Kmart I bought at least one lip gloss. Sometimes I bought 4 or 5 at a time. It sounds harmless but I basically ended up buying one lip gloss per day for two months. Yeah, I had a LOT of lip gloss. At any given moment I had at least 8 different lip glosses in my purse.

Around the same time I began dating someone. It’s fair to say that I was rather smitten with the guy. Dating someone made my lip gloss obsession worse. It made me more determined to find the perfect shade.

I was somehow convinced that the perfect shade of lip gloss would transform me; that the perfect shade would make me so beautiful, so irresistible that I would be desired by man I pass by.

Out of the 60 or so lip glosses in my collection, three of them became my favorites; the ones I wore all the time. All three lip glosses were a pink / reddish color. Unfortunately, I accidental left one of my favorite lip glosses at the home of the guy dating. I stayed there over night and left it in his bedroom. He noticed my lip gloss lying around and couple later and threw it away.

Now, over a year later, I’m still thinking about that lip gloss! What the Fuck? Why does it annoy me so much? Am I annoyed that the guy threw it away? Am I annoyed that I’ve been unable to find the same exact shade? Am I irked because after spending nearly two months finding it, that it’s gone? I don’t know. In my head this lip gloss has reached epic proportions. When I think back about it I think, “That was THE BEST lip gloss ever!” And I actually feel quite sad that it’s gone.

I guess it’s difficult for me to get over things (and people).

Crusty Cock, Cunnilingus and Bare Ass Exhibitionism on Oxford Street

Crusty Cock, Cunnilingus and Bare Ass Exhibitionism on Oxford Street Parts 1 & 2

It's an old episode, but a good one! Oral sex in public. FUN!

Chat about the saucy date with CS, the tranny.

Wanda Doesn't Masturbate

Wanda and Anjelika discuss:

- Fanny Butter
- Wanda doesn't Masturbate
- Imitation, the sincerest form of flattery
- Dating Millionaires vs Dating poor guys
- Sex in a MX 5 (Mazda Miata) ?


The UK's #1 Sex Podcast
Naive London Girl
http://www.NaiveLondonGirl.com