"You're fucking dead if you break that God damn bong in this house!" Katie, my best friend yelled to Brian, a queer co-worker of hers from the Gap. "You hear me you pathetic queen?" Brian turned around and saw how dangerously close he came to knocking over a four-foot tall glass bong with his impromptu game of soccer.
Katie stood there with her arms folded; her strawberry blond hair framing her round face and pouty lips. She sighted in annoyance; possibly at the thought that the raging party she was currently throwing was about to get even more out of control. She walked past me without acknowledging my arrival.
It was the summer of 1994. It’s cliché to say that it all seems like yesterday, but it really does seem like an event of the recent past. I was an awkward teenager in a small town surrounded by an eclectic group of teenage misfits each one more fucked-up than me.
Our town was a place so small and nondescript that the only things to do there were to eat, fuck, fish, shop, go to church, indulge in underage drinking and throw the occasional, “My parents are out of town” party; which is exactly what Katie did.
The party was in its full swing. There were about thirty people there when I arrived. Bottles of Zima lined the kitchen countertop. Almost everyone seemed to be drinking either Zima or Budweiser. I can now look back and say, “what horrible choices.” At the time, it was all that was available to anyone under 21.
I recognized most people from high school. Steph, a friend of mine that I assumed was a lesbian because of her blunt haircut and fondness for the Indigo Girls, was in the living room playing some Suzanne Vega song on her guitar.
Ed, my 6 foot 6 blond haired blue-eyed model-perfect gay buddy approached me immediately extending his arms for a hug.
“Anjelika! We've been waiting for you. Where have you been?”
“Uh,” I stuttered, “At home.”
“At home doing what?”
“Nothing, sleeping.”
“Sleeping? When there's a party going on? Time to get you head examined.”
“Yeah, examined,” I laughed, “Where's Katie?”
Ed points to Katie's bedroom. “In there, with Marc.”
Marc was Katie’s bisexual boyfriend. I never trusted the “bisexual” part. He just seemed gay me. I guess the fact that he was Katie’s boyfriend proved me wrong. Still, I had my suspicious about him.
I walked to Katie's bedroom door. It was closed. I lightly knocked. Ed rushed over.
“Don't go in there, hon” Ed warned, “They're fucking.”
“Oh.”
I looked over to my left and saw some girl who I didn’t know crying at the kitchen table. I stared at her for a few seconds. Ed and I exchanged looks. He shrugged, “She is really brining down the mood here.:
Katie and Marc finally came out of the bedroom looking disheveled. Marc looked at me, snarled then headed towards the basement. Our mutual contempt was oblivious to Katie. She smiled at me as we walked towards the kitchen.
“Hey Anj, glad you can make it.”
“Uh, yeah.”
“Hey, I was thinking that next week we should take a trip up to New York. Just hang out, you know.”
“Sure,” I answered, feeling anything but sure. “So, um, like, what's the deal with her?” I pointed to the crying girl.
“Oh,” she says reluctantly, “that's my friend Michelle from college. She's just drunk.” Katie pats Michelle's head as if Michelle were an obedient dog. .“She'll be okay. Let's go listen to Steph play. She does a great version of 'Closer to Fine.'“
As Steph sang, Ed tiptoed into the kitchen. He grabbed a shot glass, then a bottle of Absolut Citron. He smiled sinisterly as he downed the shot. He looked at the bottle again then took another shot; then third and fourth. He clumsily stumbled around the kitchen. He leaned on the countertop next to me and burped in my ear. I laughed. He poured himself another shot, using my leg to balance the glass.
“Don't spill it,” I said as I looked at him. He smiled then overfilled the glass leaving a wet ring of vodka on my shorts. I gave him an annoyed look and walked out of the kitchen. He followed me to the bathroom.
“I need to clean this vodka off me. I don’t want to come home smelling of alcohol. My dad will kill me.”
”Smelling of alcohol is the sign of a good party.”
“It’s also the sign of being grounded for 2 weeks”
Before I could close the bathroom door behind me, Ed barged inside with me. He closed the door. We stood there facing each other. Silence. I stared into his eyes striking blue eyes. He ran his hands through his blond hair then leaned over to me.
“Anjelika, I'm really fucking drunk.”
“No shit.”
“You know you're beautiful.” He ran his hands through my hair.
“Thanks?” I say questioning him.
“You should be drinking tonight. You want me to get you a glass of-”
“No.”
“Anjelika...”
“What?”
He stared at me for a hard second then kissed me. I didn’t close my eyes. I didn’t feel anything. I just wanted to get the booze smell out of my shorts.
He started kissing me harder and somehow I really didn’t want to say no. Why was he kissing me? Wasn’t he gay? Maybe he was bi? If he were straight would I feel something?
“Hey I gotta pee,” yelled Katie through the door. I backed away from Ed. “I think Katie wants to come in” I said. I wasn’t sure if I felt relieved or disappointed to be interrupted.
“Let her use the other bathroom,” he said, slamming his hand against the door keeping it shut.”
“Ed, this crazy.”
“Of course it is. I’m drunk.”
“You’re not even… never mind”
Ed removed his hand from the door. Katie entered into the bathroom. She looked over at Ed and me. “Yo, did I interrupt something?”
“No.” I said, “Just Ed, drinking too much Absolut Hetero.”
“Are you flirting with a girl, Eddie?”
“I’m trying.”
“Wow, how does it feel?” She asks. Her eyes widen.
“It was feeling pretty good ‘til you barged in, right Anj?”
“Uh-“ I stuttered
“Just for the record, Eddie, I’m the only one allowed to flirt with Anj.”
Katie said winking at me knowingly as if we had established some sort of private joke; except we hadn’t.
“This is too weird,” I said as I pushed myself past Ed and left the bathroom. I went back into the kitchen. Michelle was still crying. I looked towards the living room, Steph wss playing another Indigo Girls song. I just wanted somewhere where I could be alone for awhile. I went into Katie’s bedroom, laid on the bed and fell asleep.
I woke up a little while later. Katie was laying next to me on the bed. I wondered how long she has been there?
“Hey, sleepyhead,” she said to me.
“I'm sorry it's just that-”
“Shhhh.... it's okay,” she gently strokes my arm.
“Where's Marc?”
“In the basement, doing lines with Brian. As if I don't know.”
The room was quiet, peaceful. As I looked up at the glow-in-the-dark stars on her ceiling I could vaguely hear the music from the party outside her room. Sounds like Steph had given up on playing her guitar. I think I recognized “Head Like a Hole” by Nine inch Nails playing.
“Shouldn't you be entertaining your guests?” I asked.
“No,” she laughed, “they're entertaining themselves.”
“Oh. Well, that Michelle girl didn’t look too happy.”
“She's drunk and sad,” Katie said nonchalantly.
“Sad?”
“Yeah well, she wanted to sleep with me tonight. She’s leaving for Australia in a few days. Some exchange program. She just wants one last fling before she goes.”
“Oh.” I said, echoing the words "last fling" in my head. Was there ever a first fling I wondered?
“But I told her I'd rather be with someone else.”
“Marc?”
"You know what I mean," She said wryly while tugging at my sleeve
"Do I?”
She hugged me as she crawled out of the bed. “Anjelika,” she said. I looked up at her. She said nothing. She kissed me lightly on my mouth. I froze. She looked at me apologetically, “I'm sorry,” she whispered as she walked to the door.
“Um, it’s okay. I guess. I liked it.” I said trying to convince her not to leave.
She smiled shyly and walked slowly back towards the bed. She gingerly touched my cheek as she climbed on the bed next to me. She kissed me again and I returned her kiss. She smiled. I smiled and I realized how great it feels kissing her.
We laid next to each other kissing and stroking. Her twin bed suddenly felt too small for the both of us. I tried not to let it bother me as I lifted off her shirt and unhooked her bra. I cupped her left breast in my hand before lowering my mouth to it. I sucked her nipple. She made faint groaning sounds. I sucked harder and she groaned more.
I reached down her panties and fingered her clit. It seemed almost bizarre that even though that was the first time I was with a woman I knew exactly what to do as if it were second nature.
She rolled on top of me. She indulged me in baby kisses around my navel. She tugged at the waistline of my shorts.
“I don't know about this.” I say frightened.
“Shhh. It's okay, Anjelika.” She kissed me on the mouth then pulled my shorts and panties down. She placed her hand between my legs and told me to relax. I laid there, still and nervous.
She gently spread my pussy lips apart. She opened her mouth wide and began sucking and licking my clit. It felt amazing. I started to shake out of nervousness. My best friend, who I had shared intimate details about boys and boyfriends was licking me out. It felt amazing and special, but I was too nervous to cum.
She said her jaw was getting tired so she stopped. Maybe it was a coincidence but few seconds before that I heard Marc calling Katie’s name. She nervously threw on her shirt and hurried out the door.
There I was, feeling confused and sitting naked on her bed. “Oh my God.” I thought, ”I had just had sex with my best friend.” A million thoughts were racing through my mind. Does that mean she likes me? Is she going to tell Marc? Am I gay?
Before I could think of anything else Ed entered the room, “I’m naked!” I yelled, while feeling a little embarrassed.
“Yes, you are,” he said devilishly.
“How drunk are you?”
“Drunk enough,” he answered.
That answer was good enough for me. I’m not sure what quite came over me but I lunged at Ed. We kissed. This time I felt something. It wasn’t gentle smooth like when Katie and I kissed. The kiss was hard and rough.
I unbuckled his belt yanked down his denim shorts. I pulled down his trousers and took his cock into my mouth. It was the first blow job I had given since I had my braces removed. Oh, the perils of being a teenager!
Ed laid back on the bed. I used my full lips to apply pressure up and down his whole shaft. After 15 minutes he didn’t cum and I felt bored. So I stopped. It never occurred to us to actually fuck. I’m not sure why. Maybe because we both wanted to be fucking other people? Maybe because our teenage minds didn’t work that way? Maybe it was because we had a point to prove but lost our conviction. Whatever the reason, we soon dressed left the party and went to Denny’s for food.
Labels: adolescence, blow job, cunnilingus, lesbian, party
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