Weird BFE Dream

I've been having really vivid dreams lately.  I'm not sure why?  Last night I dreampt that that Sootbeef (remember her, she's the Significant Other Of the BFE) discovered that the BFE and I were having an affair.

Apparently, in my dream I had ground floor flat.  I had a photo of the BFE in the window.  Sootbeef came around my building, saw the photo and knew that the BFE and I were having an affair-- or rather another affair.  I think the dream took place post all the BFE drama that has happened to me in real life.  Or maybe we had just finished an affair. The timing seemed difficult to pinpoint.

In the dream I was still dating my ex-boyfriend.  After SOOTBEEF and the BFE had their big argument the BFE came over to my place.  We knew we couldn't be together  There was an eerie tension between us. I desperately wanted to touch him, but I knew it was a slippery slope.  I knew that a kiss would turn into more.  Sometimes it's easier not to start something.

He spent time talking about his wife. I spent time talking about my (then ex) boyfriend.  Eventually we kissed.  I felt so guilty, but I wanted it so much.

Then somehow we were transported to the house I grew up in.  My mother had a separate bedroom just for her clothes and make up.  The BFE and I were in that room.  I remember seeing the middle drawer pulled out.  That was the drawer my mother kept her pink hair rollers in... Anyhow that's by the by.

After we kissed then the BFE said to me.  "Do you know Tom?  His blood tests came back and-"

And then my fucking alarm clock went off!!!  How annoying.  This was supposed to be some big revelation.  Somehow I felt that it was a big revelation about me.  What was the BFE going to say?  I've spent all day trying to think of who Tom was.  It finally hit me as I was writing this blog post.  Tom is a celeb friend of the BFE whom I met once at an afterparty.  I can't say which celeb, but you can probably figure it out with a bit of googling.

So what does this dream mean?

Should women be able to sue their husbands' mistresses?

As a US wife is awarded $9 million from her husband’s mistress, an ex-wife says you can’t put a price on infidelity

Here's another clip.



There's an interesting article in the Times that's definately worth a read. Here's an excerpt:

So it’s not only husbands who screw mistresses.


I’m reeling with the news that Cynthia Shackelford has managed to invoke a North Carolina law to sue her spouse’s bit on the side for $9 million (£6 million) for “alienation of affection”. There must be many downsized, scorned wives, some of whom make up the “new poor” of society after their husbands tired of them in late middle age, who wish that we had the same law in this country that we could string like a noose around the neck of the other woman. Who wouldn’t want to stick it to those who have turned our lives upside down and ruined our marriages?

Click here to read the whole article.

So what do you think, should ex-wives be able to sue mistresses?

Part of me thinks, "Why not."  And the other part of me thinks that it is a rather antiquated law. When men have affairs usually it's not just because some new woman has become available to him.  It's a combination of things.  When things are going really well at home; emotionally, sexually, financially and intellectually men don't cheat -- and the ones that do are idiots.  Sue the idiot, not the mistress.

For the married guys I slept with all of them have approached me first.  I bet if they had a satisfying love / sex life at home they wouldn't have bothered.  Ladies, keep your men satisfied at home and maybe they won't stray!

That Jammy Dodger

In case you were curious about how the Gary & Maria thing has blown over, here's the update:

Maria shares a computer with her sister Jessica.  Jessica got to the computer before Maria.  Maria had been  already logged into Facebook.  Jessica saw the message and deleted it.

Jess sent me a long message  that basically acknowledging that her family already has suspicions about Gary, but that Maria's happiness is paramount.  She also mentioned that before she met her cop boyfriend SHE dated Gary for 3 weeks.

So there you go folks, a storm in a tea cup.  No word on if Jessica told Gary about this.

An Awkward Goodbye

A few days ago I was feeling vulnerable because my fuck buddy / friend / lodger told me that he was marrying a 24-year old virgin back in New York. He asked me to help him pick out an engagement ring for her. This is a week after we had anal sex. And though I'm not in love with him I still felt the sting of disappointment.

Part of this disappointment was because after a month of staying together he relayed this information. Why couldn't he have told me when he first got here? It just seems so shady.

The other part of my disappointment is thinking that I'm "always a bridesmaid and never a bride." And being that I'm a 30-something year old non-virgin with a sexblog would any guy find me appealing enough to marry? Sure, plenty of guys are interested in fucking me. Ultimately, I want to be more than the chick with the non-stop libido. I want to be more than someone's sex toy.

I was feeling vulnerable and I called my ex-boyfriend. Unfortunately, his number had been disconnected. I then called his ex-flatmate, Amir (the guy he lived with before he moved in with me).

Amir said he hadn't heard from my ex this month, but that they are usually in touch. He said he had heard that my ex had swine flu and spent some time in a hospital up north; and that he may have taken a job out of the country. Which country, I asked. Amir said he didn't know. Somewhere in Europe, he thinks. Then he asked me if I wanted to leave a message for him. I said no and hung up.

It seems weird that someone I thought I'd live the rest of my life with is now living another life in another country.

It was also Gary's last full day in London. After we had looked at engagement rings online, he had started packing up his things. We had the afternoon free. He asked me to go sightseeing with him. He wanted to go to the Tower of London, the Tate and the London Eye. That required more energy than I had.

"I'm just not up to going, sorry," I told him.

"Why so glum, chum?" He responded I literally wanted to strangle him at this point. How can he be so oblivious?

"I'm just tired."

"Have some coffee before we go, that will pep you up."

"I don't drink coffee. I don't drink coffee!" I snapped, "Why don't you know this? We have been friends since the O.J. Simpson trial and you don't know that I don't drink coffee."

"What the fuck, Anjelika? You don't have to get angry. You've lived here in Enlgand for the past 5 years. I'm sorry if I don't remember what beverages you do and don't like. It's been a while you know. It's not a big deal."

"It is a big deal to me!" I yelled.

There was a long awkward pause.

"Is this about Maria?"

"You're making a mistake. You're proposing to her because she's a virgin."

"Because I love her. I love her. And I'm sorry your train wreck of a love life hasn't worked out, but I have found the woman I'm meant to be with. Can't you just be happy for me?"

"You just told me this today- After we've been fucking. After we've had anal. After you've been here a month. If you're so in love with her, where was this love the first day you walked through my door?"

"Fuck you, Anj. I don't have to justify my feelings."

He walked out of kitchen and into the guest room. He grabbed all his bags and left.

It was an awkward way to end things. So I threw away the olive oil to permanently delete the memory of his visit.

Sugar Daddy, Fuck Buddy or Married Man?

OK, so I'm not having sex with married men any more, but now that I'm newly single, there's part of me that wishes I were.

I know, I know, I know, it's bad karma, it's wrong and to a certain degree morally dubious, but the more I think about it, the more that it sounds like an ideal thing for me now. I want someone who has with little involvement with me. I want to fuck someone and have it mean nothing other than the fact that we're both horny.

What I'm looking for now is a fuck buddy; maybe slightly more than a fuck buddy - but definitely not a boyfriend.

I want a guy in his late 30's to early 40's. I want a handsome, self-assured, wealthy white-collar type that is ambitious and good in bed. Actually, now that I think about it, maybe I'm looking for a suger daddy-type situation. Does that make me a whore for wanting that?

I want to go out with some guys who will take me out to a lush dinner-- think Michelin Star restaurant. A guy who will buy me a few drinks then take me back to his place and fuck me. Just so you know, I like to get fucked (at least) twice in one night.

I want this fuck buddy / sugar daddy scenario happen 1-2 days per week. But I also want some perks. You know, perks like - for the guy to get me a taxi home (and pay for it). I want him to surprise me with a fantastic gift occasionally. What sort of gift? Anything from jewelry, Nintendo Wii, Designer sunglasses -- basically I want some nice swag that I wouldn't think to buy for myself.

Maybe what I'm looking for is everything my past relationship wasn't? In any case, I wonder, is there anyone out there that fits my requirements? e-mail me: me@naivelondongirl.com

Tiger's 15th Mistress: Wanda

Wanda and I chat about: A Soldier Boy From Twickenem, Batty Boys, Stephen K. Amos, Wanda's 2 Years without Cock, Black Gay Men, Black Gay Women, Bullying, The bitches at work, Wanda and Tiger, Stephen K Amos, Roll Call results

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Rage, Misanthropy and Pussy-Eating

Anjelika just may be crazy...
So the BFE (Best Fuck Ever) disapoints me once again. Then again, what can I expect when being the mistress? Surviving the week from hell, I get irate and misanthropic. Armed with an arsenal of maritally incriminating information, I set off to reveal all to the BFE's wife, SOOTBEEF (Significant other of the BFE). But do I have the guts to go though with it? Tune in and find out.

• Blinding rage
• Wanda on Holiday
• Week from hell
• Misanthropic
• Fan Mail
• Cunnilinugs tips

Originally posted December 13, 2007

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Why Does Tiger Woods Like White Women so Much?

My answer to that is, who cares?  There's an interesting article in the Times (London) "Tiger blackened by his all-white trophy cupboard" by India Knight.

Ms. Knight says,

At some point you notice that all the women Tiger Woods has slept with since marrying his Swedish wife in 2004 have been white. And why shouldn’t they be? If Woods fancies white women more than not-white women — well, that’s his thing, in the way that Rod Stewart’s is leggy blondes. And all my boyfriends have been Chinese — 20 boyfriends, two husbands. No, not really (only one). But what did you think when you read that sentence? Because if I read it, I’d think, “Chinese boyfriends are nice, but seriously? That’s more like a symptom than a sexual preference.”

I have a problem with the above paragraph. I've never met Ms. Knight. I wouldn't know her from a tin of beans. I don't know what ethnicity she is. Maybe she, herself is Chinese? Then would anyone blink an eye all her boyfriends had been Chinese? I had to look her up on Wikipedia to find out that she's half Indian-Muslim half white. Who cares if Ms. Knight dates only Chinese guys or if Tiger Woods dates only white women. I see this as a non-issue. All I can do is raise an eyebrow and think "Oh, that's interesting."

Another point I have to make is that maybe Tiger did have a harem of black mistresses and they are all keeping their mouths shut. I know this is unlikely (cuz black women love to gossip!). Still, the possibility does exist.

What if all the women Tiger had slept with were black? Would it really make a difference? Would it diminish the fact that he had been unfaithful to his wife? Or what if all the women he slept with represented all the races of the world? Would that make it better? Cheating is cheating.

Tiger Woods Sexting his Mistress

If you had asked me to draw up a list of the most boring sports people – Tiger Woods would have been at the top of the list.  Who would have guessed that his sex life is more exciting than mine now?

I’ve been thinking a lot about this Tiger Woods stuff.  I’ve been reading the alleged text messages to he sent to one of his Mistresses, Jamie Grubbs.  You can read the text messages on Perez Hilton’s site. http://perezhilton.com/2009-12-10-more-of-tigers-sext-capades#respond

What I find really interesting about the text messages is that Tiger Woods comes off as a complete slime ball. His squeaky clean image is gone.   The mistress seems desperate and needy. It’s clear to see from the text messages that he’s just using her.

Excerpt September 27, 6:38 PM:

Tiger: you just need some attention from me

Tiger: do you have a boy friend (8:45 p.m.)

Jaimee: I don't even have someone I am dating … no … u can be my boyfriend 

Tiger: then I am

Jaimee: I wish

Tiger: quiet and secretively we will always be together

Tiger: when was the last time you got laid

While I was reading the trail of text messages it suddenly hit me that once I was that needy desperate girl having an affair with the BFE. I sent the BFE flirty-yet-boarding-on-desperate text messages.  I was so entrenched in the situation that I couldn’t get a grip on what was going on.

Although I was not totally innocent I wish I could have realized that I was being used too.  I guess I can just chalk that up to experience.

Single Girl at the Christmas Party

Over the years I’ve changed my perspective on Christmas parties. I used to love, love love the idea of drinking with my colleagues. Flirting. A cheeky kiss. Drinking to excess. Quickie hand job in the loo. Getting felt up in the cab ride home. When I was in my twenties and unattached that was all fun stuff.

And I know it sounds bad, but even copping off with the married guys was fun. Not all the married guys were into that, just a few. There was a sort of understanding of, “what happened at the Christmas party stays at the Christmas party.”

As I got closer to 30, things began to change, somewhat. There weren’t so many single available guys to flirt with there. The guys that were available seemed, well, rather uninteresting. I didn’t find them interesting or intriguing. They probably didn’t find me interesting or intriguing as well. And even the married guys were no longer fun. They were all very well behaved. Good news for their wives, but bad news for me, I suppose.

Christmas parties have become a dull, boring corporate obligation to me. Tonight is my company Christmas party. Three years ago, I’d be rearing to go! The truth is Christmas parties and office parties aren’t fun for me any more.

Now that I have a boyfriend, I no longer feel the need to go out a flirt shameless with other men. I don’t like drinking that much. And the idea that I’m going to have to spend 3 more hours with my co-workers makes me feel sad and ill.

So instead of going out tonight, I’m going home to my boyfriend. I guess that means the party’s over.

Do all Men Cheat?

This whole Tiger Woods thing has me thinking. Do all men cheat? Would all men cheat if given the opportunity?

I don't think my boyfriend would ever cheat on me. I'm fairly confident that he wouldn't. He's too honest of a person. But how many other women have thought that? How many other women have thought, "There's no way my boyfriend/husband would ever cheat on me" only to find out there's another woman involved?

"By the time a husband starts down the road to adultery," she says, "he's already heard the explanations and rationalizations that other husbands have used. So he picks up the lines from them," says Elizabeth Landers co-author of the book, The Script: The 100% Absolutely Predictable Things Men Do When They Cheat.

In many respects I'm not surprised that rich, powerful men like Tiger Woods cheat. After all if you're a pro athlete, you generally have 1. A Good physique, 2. Lots of money and 3. Women throwing themselves at you. In addition you travel a lot, spend a lot of time in hotels and spend plenty of time away from home/ the wife/girlfriend. So of course this is the perfect formula to have an affair.

To all the men out there, i would appreciate your candid answers to these questions:

• If you're going to cheat, why bother getting married in the first place? Why not stay single and play the field?
• What qualities does a man looks for in a wife compared to the qualities he looks for in a woman to have an affair with?

Sexual Healing - Affairs and Bad Advice

Has anyone read this article in the Guardian? "Sexual healing: My husband is having an affair with our neighbour because I don't want sex with him"

Problem: I have had little interest in sex for three years and my husband is so angry he has started having an affair with a neighbour (who used to be a close friend of mine). I don't suppose I can blame him. I have a horrible feeling this illness of mine is incurable – is it? Is there anything I can do?

Solution given by Pamela Stephenson Connolly:In a nutshell she says that her man is treating her badly. She predicts that once her man treats her better, her libido will return.

I take issue with this advice. First of all, it is unacceptable NOT to sleep with your husband for three years unless this is something you both want. This chick should be grateful that her husband is only sleeping with the girl next door and hasn't packed his bags to leave!

Secondly, sex is part of a relationship. If you are no longer interested in sex and your partner is you will have to come to a compromise. No sex for three years isn't a compromise- that's one person winning over the other. You should consider having sex with your husband at least once a month- that is still a pitiful amount, but better than no sex at all.

Third, if you've lost your sex drive there just might be a medical reason behind this. It's worth visiting your doctor / gyno to find out. Plus, your partner will be pleased to see you taking steps to fix the problem instead of doing nothing.

Fourth, it's worth finding out if you've lost your libido completely, or if it's that you're just not sexually attracted to your husband anymore.

Last but not least, this situation is YOUR FAULT. Not having sex with your husband for three years is holding his sexuality hostage. Can you blame him for shagging the neighbour?

Tiger Woods: His Mistress will Get a Deal

Who cares about Tiger Woods? Seriously, who really cares? I've never been a fan of his. I don't hate him, but I don't especially like him either.

I just feel like I can't relate to him at all. Other than the fact that we have the same skin tone I really don't have anything in common with guy.

I don't understand what the furor is over this traffic accident he had? They guy hit a fire hydrant and tree on his own property. It's not really a big deal. So many people want to know what happened. It's so easy to figure out.

Anyone who hits a stationary objection on their own property is either intoxicated or recklessly trying to escape. As long as he didn't damage anyone else's property and as long as he didn't hurt anyone else what difference does it make?

I think that all the media attention on Tiger right now has little to do with the actual accident and much to do with the rumors that he's been cheating on his wife.

The alleged mistress of Tiger Wood's is Rachel Uchitel. I'm guessing that's a bad picture of her. I'm surprised that he would cheat on his wife with someone that looks vaguely like her. Maybe it's stereotypical to say, but all blonds look alike to me.

I'm not going to condemn Tiger for cheating. What I want to know is, why didn't he just use a hooker or call girl? Why have an affair with someone? If you're rich enough to pay someone, then you're rich enough to pay them to go away. Someone of his stature to have an affair, wreaks of cheapness, laziness and sloppiness.

Ultimately, I predict that the truth will come out. I predict that he'll admit to the affair. His dutiful Swedish wife will stand by him -- they do have two kids. I predict that some heat will come off Belle de Jour now that there's a new sex scandal about to emerge. I predict that the "homewrecker" Rachel Uchitel will land a TV deal-- most likely a reality TV deal. I mean isn't that how these things usually go?

The Art of the Premeditated Coincidence

The Art of the Premeditated Coincidence

“Every man in London should wear zipped fly jeans just in case I need to give an emergency hand job.”

I did some research and used some reasonable deduction to guess that the BFE would be spending his one day off this month at the Imogene Heap concert at the Roundhouse. SOOTBEEF, must have appreciated that. Sootbeef being the Signifcant Other of the BFE.

I did sort of feel like a stalker, but I so pleased at my own detective work that I didn’t care. Imaging being able to pin point the location of someone who’s hardly even in London. And if it were my only day off, I sure as hell wouldn’t be at a concert. I'd be with my partner, at least.

I rushed in my car from Canary Wharf to Camden town. Amazingly I got a parking spot very very close to the venue. Shit. That’s good news and bad news. In Los Angeles they have a saying, “If you get a good parking spot you’re not getting laid tonight.”

Dave Navarro once joked that the theory explains why he’s not getting laid: He parks right outside of his house.

Maybe it’s different in London.

I walked up to the table holding the guest list and announced my name. I tried to peer onto the list to see if the BFE had been comped too, but I couldn’t read the list upside down.

I grabbed my ticket and ran up the stairs. I felt so rushed. So hurried. In my mind the BFE was already here and I just had to find him. I needed to find him before the show started and the house lights went down. I felt like a dork looking for him without appearing that I was looking for him. I went to the bar and ordered a drink, a Coke. I was somehow convinced that a holding a drink would make me look less conspicuous.

This is the time when I envy smokers. Let me be clear. I have never smoked. I hate cigarette smoke. I hate kissing smokers. I hate cigarettes. But when I’m by myself and I don’t want to look like the sad pathetic unaccompanied fool I am, there’s nothing that I want more than to have a cigarette between my fingers. There’s something about being alone that seems okay if you’re smoking. Without a cigarette you just look like you’re loitering.

I entered the main concert hall and thought, “If I were the BFE where would I be standing?” I surmised that he would be in front of the mixing desk. It was 10 minutes before show started I nearly reached panic mode. I furiously scanned the crowd for his face. I couldn’t get in front of the mixing desk because the area surrounding it was packed with people. Shit. I’ll never find him. Maybe he’s not even here. As I beagn walking to a less crowded area there he was. I spotted him. He was standing with a mate.

A surge of excitement went through me. Yay, my detective work paid off. I wasn’t really yet to face him. So I quickly ducked away. I went and got another Coke. At the bar I practiced in my head my, “Oh fancy meeting you here,” voice. No matter I said it, it sounded contrived.

By this point Imogene started playing, “Goodnight and Go.” It seemed eerierly appropriate considering the stalkerish nature of the song.

I went back to the area he was standing and he was gone. Had he seen me and absconded?

The music started. The house lights went down. Shit. It was going to be hard to find him again. I walk over to the let side of the venue and there he was. His back was to me. How do I get his attention without it appearing that I’m trying so hard?

I resolved to simply tapping him on the shoulder.

He turned around. Initially he looked like he didn’t recognize me which seemed really, really odd. He looked at me, turned away and looked at me again.

“Oh hey” he said sounding surprised.

Conveniently his mate left us in order to talk someone working at the show. So there we were BFE and I alone together (amongst 2000 people) watching the concert.

“I don’t mean for this to sound rude but, have you lost weight? You look really fucking hot tonight.” Ohhh the magic words. “In fact I have” I answered. I was lying, but when you get a compliment like that you should just roll with it.

See, when you’re planning to bump into someone coincidently you want to look extremely good. This includes bumping into Exes, Anti-Ones and old bosses. You have to look fuckable. You have to look like good enough that they regret every time they didn’t call you back.

Similar to the Radiohead show, we initially were standing feet apart, but by the end being very close.

He was wearing butterfly’s again dammit. His trouser selection is going to be the end of me. I wanted to reach down his pants and feel his cock. I couldn’t get to it. Every man in London should wear zipped fly jeans just in case I need to give an emergency hand job.

“I have to get up early. Early flight. I’m going,“ he says non-chalantly

Fuck!

“Wanna ride home?” I offer.

He sends his friend a text to say he was leaving. We left after “Hide and Seek.” Normally I love that song, but this time, I couldn’t wait for it to be over.

We exited the venue and walked to my car. I felt all tingly inside. Could the Los Angeles Parking Theory be wrong?

As we approached my car he took his hand into mine. He then raised both his hands to my face and started kissing me.

“We shouldn’t be doing this,” he said stopping suddenly.

And then in my one moment of clarity in the whole BFE situation I said, “Your right,” and backed away.

He paused for a second. He backed me into the car. He was pressing against me. It felt great feeling his body weight on mine. He then looked deep into my eyes and said, “We need to make a date so I can come over fuck you and eat you properly.”

Yes, that’s exactly what I wanted.

I’ve always considered myself as a strong woman, but the intent look gave me broke my resolve. It was like he was seeing into me; seeing into my soul. At that point he could have asked me anything. ANYTHING and I would have said yes. And I hate that he has that sort of grip over me.

We soon got in the car. I drove him back to his house. It was a nice ride because he fingered me the whole way.

He Fingered My Pussy While I Sang

Humor me. I know I can't sing, but yes, I recorded a song. Why? Because I was asked and because I like a challenge.

After recording this song with Igor Montenegro (where is he these days?) I had a new respect for singers. Singing in tune was a challenge. Using the auto-tune was a challenge. Singing in French, a language I love, was a challenge was well.

We recorded this song in his attic which he had turned into a recording studio. While I was singing, he was fingering my pussy. Perhaps this was to get the best performance out of me? I didn't mind. I actually really liked it. I found him fingering me thrilling because his wife and kids were in the room downstairs. Did I feel guilty? Nope.

A Saturday without Panties Part 2 - Redux

Continued from Part 1 Wanda knocks on Anjelika's door only to find her sans Panties.

In Part 2 - Anjelika gets eaten out by the BFE. Listen to it here:



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Part 2: A Saturday without panties

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Three Years on and Moving On

I'm watching the V Festival on TV now. Lady Gaga is singing, "Poker Face." Watching the whole V Festival on TV makes me envious. I wish I were there. I want to be in the crowd having fun.

Honestly, I'm really bad at festivals. If you go to a festival, you don't want to go with me! I hate the crowds. I hate the mud. I hate the toilets. I hate the overpriced drinks. I'm short and I hate that the tallest person in Chelmsford somehow finds a way to stand in front of me every time. I don't get drunk. I don't get high. I'm a proper 'stick in the mud.'

I do enjoy the music. I do enjoy when people sing in unison. I do enjoy feeling like I've witnessed something amazing and moving.

Naturally, watching the festival started reminding of the 2006 V Festival (See The V Festival: Giving head during Radiohead Yeah remember the good old days when I actually wrote about sex?)

Three years ago I was at the V Festival with my Ex-boyfriend. Also in the audience was the BFE. I had abandoned my ex to look for the BFE. My mobile battery was almost dead. Communication was difficult. Miraculously the BFE and I found each other in the crowd to the left main stage: about 40 feet from the tree.

Even though months before we had ended our relationship I was really looking forward to seeing him. I had broken up with him in a pre-empttive dump; sort of like Israel and the 6 Day War.

Last I heard he had gone back to his wife. She had moved back into the martial home. The BFE and I we were O-V-E-R. But the memories of the hot sex we had were frequently on my mind. After all, there is a reason why he had the nick name, "The Best Fuck Ever"

I checked the BFE's left hand at the V Festival. The wedding ring was still on. I was disappointed.



We stood motionless next to each other during Radiohead's set. I was holding back my desire. Then during "No Surprises" he put his arm around me and all the feelings cam rushing back; all the memories; fucking on the kitchen table; breaking in the new Muji couch; the hand job in Heathrow; kissing in Mayfair; the dirty weekend in Prague. Fucking, fucking and more fucking. It was like someone opened the floodgates. I didn't hold back much longer. We kissed. We held each other. It started out as romantic but then turned seedy. I gave him a hand job right there in the crowd.

Three days later we were fucking all over again. It was a different sort of fucking. Instead of it being about enjoying each other's company it was about the release of frustration. It was sex riddled with guilt. Whereas before he and his wife had separate it was different this time. He was fucking me then going home to her. And there began the beginning of the end. And my God, what a painful end that was. (See Fallout and Foreplay)

It's amazing how things change three years on. I have a wonderful boyfriend now and the BFE seems like a distant memory. It doesn't even seem right that I'm still calling him the BFE. He's not the 'best fuck ever' anymore. He's just some dude I just to be crazy about.

It makes me excited now that my future is with my boyfriend, RTC. For a long time I seemed to go after men that were unavailable; the ones who could like but not love me. When you find someone who loves you thoroughly; the ones that give as good as they get (and I'm not talking about oral sex here) you realized that this is how it was meant to be.

I don't begrudge the 'bfe' or our time together. I do feel that I learned a lot. I learned a lot about myself. I also learned that he's the wrong guy for me. Even if you're sexually compatible it's not enough. I need to be with a guy that actually cares about me.

My boyfriend, RTC, doesn't like me writing about him. So I try to keep mentions of him to a minimum. It's one of the reasons why there haven't been many entires about sex here. He's not interested in being a part of the blog and I can understand that.

I just feel really happy to be with someone who loves me as much as I love him. I think that's the way things were meant to be.

Saturday Update

Happy 4th of July Everyone.

I'm heading down to Battersea park to be with other Americans here in London. Later tonight I'm heading down to Killing Kittens so that I can report on it for YouPorn Magazine

Since posting the last Andrew Charles Leonard post. 2 more women have e-mailed me to tell me they have been conned and hurt by him. He has e-mailed me further. There is also some press interest in the story so stay tuned. It'll be a humdinger when it comes out.

Some important decisions have been made regarding my current relationship. After a month of holding back, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. It was amazing. I can't really say much more but I feel happy. Really, really happy. It's hard to describe the feeling of knowing that someone you love is inside you. His cum is inside me now and I couldn't be happier.

An Open Letter to the Liar and Cheater Known as Andrew Charles Leonard

An Open Letter to the Liar and Cheater Known as Andrew (Charles) Leonard

On Wed, July 1, 2009 2:28 pm, Leave Itbe wrote:
> Next time think of the damage to others before
> you blog and get a life over spelling for goodness sake
>
> ________________________________
> From: Naive London Girl
> To: Leave Itbe <leaveitbe@rocketmail.com>
> Sent: Wednesday, 1 July, 2009 14:22:34
> Subject: Re:
>
> Actually, it's your spelling that's laughable.
>
> I'm happy to leave it, because it is quite boring now.
>
> On Wed, July 1, 2009 12:36 pm, Leave Itbe wrote:
>> You are quiet frankly laughable, you claim your
>> bored of this stuff but yet you are still plotting
>> revenge. You are what you are, bitter.

Dear Andrew (acl1964@googlemail.com)

Let me tell you a little bit about how it's going to go next time. You're going to end your double life, right now.

• Don't cheat on your wife.
• Don't lead other women on.
• Don't troll dating sites for single women when you yourself are married, Mr. Leonard.

I won't search out any new information on this but if any more women e-mail me about this, I WILL revisit the topic.

And if I hear one more peep out of you about this I'm going on a fact-finding mission. I'm going to write up the story, corroborate the evidence, verify the truth and sell it to the press.

I've been given a list of names, e-mail address and phone numbers of the 40 known women who are involved your trail of sex, lies and deception. It makes a pretty juicy story for any women's weekly.

What insane cunt cheats on their wife with 40 women? What feeble-minded individual would put his kids in jeopardy to lead a double life? What fucked-up asshole says he has cancer to explain his mysterious disappearances?

Your father-in-law is covering for you. Your best mate (also a cheater) is covering up for you. And your wife, the poor soul, is in denial.

I am speaking for forty or so women who don't have a voice or platform to air their grievances. I'm speaking for the women you lied to for years; the ones who had given up their lives for you. The women you asked to bare your children. The women who said you wanted to share a life with. All while you were married. All while you had children. Funnily enough if it were one or two women you cheated with, I wouldn't have a problem with that. But double digits is out of fucking control.

I am speaking for the women you haven't met yet who no doubt you'll deceive as well. Ladies, this is a guy you want to stay away from.

You are morally corrupt. Yeah, I said it.

You even lied about being vegan. What's up with that?

Stay faithful to your wife. Be a good father.

Do not contact me or my blog readers again or else this letter is taking a first class trip to Kingston-upon-Thames to a friend of mine who is a private detective. Upon my instruction, he will give this to your wife. Capiche? Don't even send me an acknowledging e-mail. I don't care.

Now. Fuck off.

Fun in the Sauna

• Calling out Andrew Charles Leonard
  
• Wanda's heartbreak
  
• Never ask a guy out
  
• Meeting the fans
  
• Shout outs
  
• Imran and Julian
  
• Period sadness

Listen on Mevio: 

http://www.mevio.com/episode/160249/Fun+in+the+Sauna/a>

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Andrew Leonard is a Liar and Cheats on His Wife

This is an update on FuckFace

For the three years I've had this blog I've been discrete with people's identities. I have never revealed anyone's name here as discretion is of the utmost importance. Today I'm making an exception. Remember Fuckface, the married guy I dated? The one who led me to believe he was single? Well he's been stringing along many women. Apparently I'm one of fifteen.

If you play with fire, prepare to get burnt. His name is Andrew Charles Leonard (so he says) He's from Australia. This is his Facebook page here: http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1292462027

Pictured to the left, Andrew Leonard and a wax statue of Penelope Cruz.

I just received a Facebook message from another woman in his web

he's married with 2 children in australia + his 2nd wife had twins in march. he lied to us all. when last year did you see him? Hes been seeing from what I am able to undertand and what happened recently at least 15 other women at the same time. did you not receive the emails? he kept on telling me someone was stalking him and I made the msitake of contacting the woman he said it was. he played with everyone. i still care so.... ____ knows more than anyone else as it seems he saw her the longest and she found out all about his lies first then ___ ... too many

Thank god, I only went out with him twice and never slept with him.

If you're a victim of Andrew Leonard e-mail me: me@naivelondongirl.com

Normally, I would never 'out' anyone but this guy is far too sleazy.  Girls, stay away from this one.

Update about Fuck Face

Just got a Facebook message from a friend of Fuck Face:

Why am I not surprised?!

He has been married for a very long time - I would say 5-6 years. He has 2 kids from prev marriage and twins from current one.

I believe he has lied to you and you were unfortunately wrong about him.

Thanks

Pam

What a slimeball. He deserves to get caught. I'm glad I didn't sleep with him.

Busted Fuck Face!

Yes, I am an evil bitch. I just don't like being lied to.

Last year I went on a few dates with a guy that I was sooooo very into. He was handsome, rich, successful, charming and witty. He really had it all. We met off an online dating site. We had great chemistry together. But then I wouldn't hear from him in ages then we'd go out on another date.

Our chemistry was great. His kisses were amazing

Anyhow I was on Facebook this morning and he showed up as a recommended friend. I'd never seen him on Facebook before. I hadn't looked. It never occurred to me to check. I had quick look through his profile page.

Networks:
London

Relationship Status:
Married

Birthday:
xx November 1964

What's that? Married. He never told me he was married. I continued searching his profile page. Upon checking his wall I saw that he was expecting twins. That would make three kids for him. Wait, he never mentioned that he had kids either.

Hey Fuck face! 

Not sure how you ended upon my facebook. You showed up in the friend recommendations. We must know some of the same people.

So how's the marriage going. You didn't seem to mention that when we last met.

Cheers,
Anjelika

And  after that I decided to message all 10 of his female friends.  One them must be his wife:

Dear Janet,

I don't really know you, but I saw that you are one of Andrew's friends What's the deal with him? We totally dated last year. We met off Match.com He said he was single Haven't heard from him in a while. Did he suddenly get married or something?

The number I have for him is +44XXXXXXXXXX is that right?

Any advice would be appreciated.

Thanks,
Anjelika

Now let the fall out begin.

Ain't No Happiness Nowhere

Ain't No Happiness Nowhere

I'm still around. I've been laying low for the holidays. Strangely, I haven't felt inspired to write and I've been OK about that. Usually when I don't write I get that guilty feeling; the same guilty feeling you get by not going to the gym. Even when I'm not writing this blog, usually I'm writing something: chapters for my novel, movie reviews, articles, something at least.

It's weird that I haven't felt the need to write anything. The only reason why I'm writing this is because I didn't want a whole month to go by without saying something.

The boyfriend situation is OK. I dunno, I feel like I really shouldn't talk him so much here. As far as the relationship goes, things aren't amazing, but they aren't horrible. It's just OK. Rather boring actually. He came over last week and stayed nearly the whole week. It was nice. God, 'nice' is such a bland word. Read between the lines here, people. Anyhow we got to watching that Chris Rock HBO special, "Never Scared."

There's a bit in that special that especially caught my attention. It's when Chris Rock says, "Married and bored or single and lonely. Ain't no happiness nowhere."


It suddenly struck me, what if that's true? What if those are the only two choices in life? MARRIED & BORED vs SINGLE & LONELY.

Surely it's better to married and bored, right? When married people are really bored they can do things to distract themselves (e.g. have affairs). And from my experience of sleeping with married men, married guys actually want to stay married. They have no desire to leave their wives and enter singledom again. Why is that? It must be because being married and bored is the better alternative to single and lonely, right?

I haven't quite worked that answer out yet. It's just something I've been thinking about.

Advice device for Adulterers and Dating the Doppelgänger

Wanda and Anjelika play Agony Aunt as they answer your questions sent in via e-mail.

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Additional Topics include:

- Mevio, Podshow, the Mevio contract
- Gordon Brown
- Freecycle
- Why Anjelika is mad
- Not getting laid
- Mail from Listeners
- Shaving
- Digital Music Awards
- Adam Curry
- AQA
- Any Questions Answered
- Gaydar

Fuck Buddies and Sex Clubs

Anjelika: "I'm going to a sex club!"

Wanda: "I don't really want to see you sucking someone off or getting cock up your ass."

Subscribe to our podcast on iTunes

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Wanda and Anjelika chat about:
• Fuck Buddies
• Old Fashion Romance
• Affairs with Married men
• Why Guys Cheat
• Gifts and Golddigging
• WAGs
• Dog-walking
• Biking
• Velodrome
• Audience Perception
• Sex Club
• Having sex in front of your friends
• Sex during your period
• Bodily Fluids

Oversexed and Still Cheating

Oversexed and Still Cheating

Regarding my previous blog entry, Are You Lustful Tonight? an anonymous reader has asked a very good question

Whats the reason when a guy is still getting sex every day (very good sex for that matter) - yet he still seeks to cheat?


1. Variety is the spice of life. Chocolate-chip cookie dough is my favorite ice cream, but if I had it EVERY DAY I'd grow a bit tired of it. Sure, it would still taste good, but I'd want to try out some other flavours. Some men feel this same way.

2. The sex isn't really that "good." Maybe the wife is happily having sex with her husband on a daily basis, but really it's not that good. Perhaps the wife thinks she's fulfilled her part as the dutiful wife with the daily blow job. This sounds like quantity is more important that quality. If the husband is cheating in this case, he's looking for a quality experience.

3. He has an overinflated ego and/or arrested emotional development and feels that he deserves the BBD. The BBD is the "Bigger Better Deal." His wife may be gorgeous, but he feels he can find something better. Whether or not he can actually do better is debatable; it's more about having the perception that what he has isn't good enough. Hell, even Christy Brinkley's husband cheated on her.

4. Temptation, lack of forethought, and know that he won't get caught. If a Brinks Armoured Truck accidently dropped 10K out of the back would you take the money or would you resist? If you knew the likelihood that you would get caught was minimal would you take the money? If you knew that the money would make you feel better instantly and you wouldn't get caught, would you take the money?

Yeah, I probably would. You probably would too. Sometimes there are very good men who slip up and cheat. I'm not excusing this, but it is a reality. Sometimes good people do morally dubious things. Men who slip up aren't horrible people; they just don't have the forethought to see how easily this situation could go wrong.

5. He's a sex addict. Some men are like that. These guys should probably never get married.

But, that’s just my opinion.

Are You Lustful Tonight?

Are You Lustful Tonight?

The past couple of weeks I’ve been thinking about infidelity; why men cheat it and what causes it.

Men cheat because of a combination of sexual boredom, lack of attention from their wives, needing their egos stroked, poor communication and an unwillingness to confront issues head-on.

Unless the guy’s a complete sociopath, which in the London dating scene is definite possibility, cheating never happens for just one reason alone.

For instance, a typical cheater is the guy who hasn’t had sex with his wife in a year, but because of poor communication and an inability to confront his wife with the issue, he sleeps with someone else. Although his infidelity provides temporary sexual relief, the underlying issue of why he and his wife aren’t having sex still remains. Until that issue is confronted, it will almost certainly be preferable for the man to continue cheating.

Another example of a cheater is the guy who has sex with his wife a couple times a month. Even though the sex is regular, he needs to feel sexy and wanted by the opposite sex. Maybe his wife is too busy with work and kids to take care of his emotional needs. Or maybe the wife is turned off by his neediness. Whatever the case, this is a guy that needs his ego stroked. He’ll probably spend a lot of time flirting with other women before he actually goes through with the infidelity.

In my previous post, Contemplating Adultery, I wondered why a woman would stop having sex with her husband. After much thought I realized that the answer is so easy! It’s also sexual boredom.

Women get bored with just sex. I get bored with just sex. Am I feeling lustful tonight? That depends. I need the wooing; the romance; the gifts; the expensive meals. I need to feel like I’m being chased. I need to feel appreciated and not like I’m being taken for granted; or that I owe the guy sex – or worse that I just want to get it “over with.” I need to feel special and wanted in order for me to give my best in bed.

During the course of a marriage men stop trying to impress their wives. To a certain extent this is natural and makes sense. If a man is already married in theory he doesn’t have to work to hard to woo woman in order to win her over. She, by definition, is already his. Still that goes against the basic human need of wanting to feel desired.

When a man stops trying to impress a woman, a woman stops feeling desired. When a woman stops feeling desired, she stops feeling sexy. When she stops feeling sexy, she stops having sex. When she stops having sex, the husband gets restless. When the husband get restless, he (wrongfully) looks into cheating.

It seems like such a vicious cycle and makes me wonder if marriage is even worth it?

Contemplating Adultery

Contemplating Adultery

As a women who has slept with many a married man I am fascinated by the question, “Why do men cheat?” I’m even more perplexed that I haven’t been able to find a satisfactory answer.

As far as my own fidelity goes, I’ve never cheated on anyone. And, as far as I know, no one has ever cheated on me. Let’s hope that karma’s not a bitch!

Out of the 6 or so married men I’ve been intimate with there seems to be a common theme when I ask them why they’re cheating. The unanimous answer is, “My wife doesn’t understand me [like you do]” and “I haven’t had sex with her in [X number of] months.”

Men are quick to put the blame of their lack of attention and lingering horniness on the wife. Or course, this is convenient to do that as I’m never in the position to question the wife. But perhaps that’s where I should be looking? I know that it takes two to tango, but what happens in a relationship when a man decides to cheat? Is it always the case that wife has stopped having sex with him?

Sex is great. Orgasming is great. Sex makes you feel fulfill, sexy and adventurous. If you stop having sex with your husband, you’re denying yourself the pleasure as well. Why would a woman stop having sex with her husband? A couple theories have been suggested to me:

1. That when women are single, they pretend to have high sex drives in order to reel in the guy and get married. Once they’re married and things settle down, the woman goes back to her real sex drive which presumably is lower. The husband feels cheated. Sort of like the same feeling you get when you see a movie preview that you think looks great; then when you see you movie, you realize they put all the best bits in the trailer. The husband grows resentful of this and ultimately cheats

2. Once women have children, they make their children their number one focus and the husband has to take the back seat.
The husband grows resentful of this and ultimately cheats.

So as single women, if we know up front (i.e. before the wedding) that our potential husbands need sex regularly to stay happy how is this forgotten once we’re married? Is there something that happens to women once they’re married that makes them want to have sex with their husbands less?

One married guy that I slept with said that it had been 8 months since he last had sex with his wife. The obvious question I had for him was, “Well, have you discussed that with her? Have you said, hey honey it’s been ages since we’ve made love. Can we be more regular about it?”

Two things emerged after I put that to him: 1. He’s uncomfortable about talking to his wife about sex. He’s afraid to have the awkward conversation with her. Huh? How can you have a fulfilling sex life if you’re afraid to talk about sex with your spouse? Also, with all the lying and betrayal that’s involved with cheating are you telling me it’s harder to have an “awkward conversation” with your wife? I think men see cheating as an easy alternative. But really, it shouldn’t be an alternative. If a man is not having sex with his wife he needs to have a conversation with her.

And if he does have a conversation with her but it turns out that she’s no longer interested in him sexually, what should he do? What if everything in the relationship is great, except the sex, what should a guy do? I would advise that the guy needs to come to an understanding with his wife that he has to have sex on a regular basis. I would see if the wife were open to the idea of you taking on a lover.

Afterall, it’s rather unfair of her to say, “No, I’m not going to have sex with you, but I don’t want anyone else to have sex with you either.” That’s a bit selfish.

The second thing to emerge from my chat with the married man was that he wanted his wife to find him sexually attractive. He didn’t want to have to “talk my wife into wanting to have sex with me. I want her to want me. “

He didn’t want to have to coax his wife into having sex with him. I suppose, as a man that can be quite demoralizing.