Weird BFE Dream

I've been having really vivid dreams lately.  I'm not sure why?  Last night I dreampt that that Sootbeef (remember her, she's the Significant Other Of the BFE) discovered that the BFE and I were having an affair.

Apparently, in my dream I had ground floor flat.  I had a photo of the BFE in the window.  Sootbeef came around my building, saw the photo and knew that the BFE and I were having an affair-- or rather another affair.  I think the dream took place post all the BFE drama that has happened to me in real life.  Or maybe we had just finished an affair. The timing seemed difficult to pinpoint.

In the dream I was still dating my ex-boyfriend.  After SOOTBEEF and the BFE had their big argument the BFE came over to my place.  We knew we couldn't be together  There was an eerie tension between us. I desperately wanted to touch him, but I knew it was a slippery slope.  I knew that a kiss would turn into more.  Sometimes it's easier not to start something.

He spent time talking about his wife. I spent time talking about my (then ex) boyfriend.  Eventually we kissed.  I felt so guilty, but I wanted it so much.

Then somehow we were transported to the house I grew up in.  My mother had a separate bedroom just for her clothes and make up.  The BFE and I were in that room.  I remember seeing the middle drawer pulled out.  That was the drawer my mother kept her pink hair rollers in... Anyhow that's by the by.

After we kissed then the BFE said to me.  "Do you know Tom?  His blood tests came back and-"

And then my fucking alarm clock went off!!!  How annoying.  This was supposed to be some big revelation.  Somehow I felt that it was a big revelation about me.  What was the BFE going to say?  I've spent all day trying to think of who Tom was.  It finally hit me as I was writing this blog post.  Tom is a celeb friend of the BFE whom I met once at an afterparty.  I can't say which celeb, but you can probably figure it out with a bit of googling.

So what does this dream mean?

Eddie Izzard and Dating the Fans

Wanda and I chat about: Dawn French, Would you marry Lenny Henry? Provolone, Nothern Ireland, Kissing cousins, Belfast, Badly Styled and Boring, Anjelika's Saturday Night date, Wanda's Date, Sex texting, Dating the fans, Ava Vidal, Awards Ceremony, Eddie Izzard

"I hate when guys I'm not into text me in a sexual way."

"If you like me just take it slow.  Your dick's not gonna fall off in a week."

"I would much rather date a random guy on the street than someone that listens to the podcast."

"When I went out with badly styled and boring he dropped at least £150 on the meal"

"I was asked out on 6 dates in the past 12 days"

"The last night we went out he spent £250 on the meal alone."

"I did get asked out by a celeb.  Not A-list.  Not B-list not even D-list."

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Lily Allen

Last night I dreampt that I was interviewing Lily Allen. I remember asking her if she thought her job was hard. I also asked her about the media attention on her personal life.

We then got in a car and drove from London to Virginia, USA. I got confused about which side of the road I should be driving on, but Lily kindly reminding me

My interview with Lily Allen was neither exciting or insightful. Why did my brain waste energy dreaming about her?

Why couldn't I dream about Louis Theroux instead?

The Cocks Come Out in Spring - 6 Dates

Last year my pal and fellow sex blooger Suzanne Portnoy wrote a very insightful blog entry about how all the weirdos come out of hibernation once spring hits.

It must be Spring Because My Phone Won't Stop Ringing To all the Wackos out there:  I realise it’s spring and that your penis is all of a sudden raring to go but please, please, please, take it somewhere else. My pussy is being well looked after and doesn’t require another cock. Thanks for asking if I’m around for a fuck but I’m fine for now, really. And no, I don’t want to have phone sex with you. Nor do I want to accompany you to a sex club or listen to you get your cock sucked. I am not interested in seeing pictures of you dressed in women’s clothing or naked or of your disembodied cock. Seriously, I remember the last time we were together and the reason why I haven’t been in contact is because I don’t want to see you. If I don’t respond to your emails, pick up the phone or answer any of your text messages, then feel free to delete me from your address book. I do not want to meet up with you, go on holiday with you, have dinner with you. Get it?

As the London weather has turned from unbearable to 'quite nice' all I can say is that Suzanne is certainly right. The proof? In the past 10 days I've been asked out on 6, (count em') 6 dates all by different guys. One thing I was wondering was how is it possible to be asked out by 6 different guys in a 10-day period and approximately 0 guys in the month before that. It MUST be spring!

One of guys who asked me out is a D-list celeb. Actually, I'm probably being generous by saying D-List. He is a UK personality who I see on TV ever so often. I'm not sure that I can say much more about him without giving his identity away. I met him at a charity event back in 2007. We exchanged numbers. We stayed in touch infrequently. Then this week in his charming way he sent me a text asking, "How come we haven't fucked yet?"

Another guy who asked me out was Mr. Badly Styled & Boring. I dated him back in 2008. Holy smokes batman that was 2 years ago! Anyhow, I'm going out on a date with him tonight.

The third guy that asked me out is an assistant to some MP. We dated once last year. It went well, but it was right before I met my ex-boyfriend. So the timing wasn't great.

The other 3 guys that asked me out, I admittedly don't know very well -- so they will have to be carefully vetted.

One thing that has been interesting is that all the guys who have asked me out have done it via e-mail or text. I never received a phone call saying, "Anjelika, do you want to go out with me this weekend?" 

Why is that?  Is texting / e-mailing the new way to ask a girl out? What would The Rules say about that?

Even Celebs Go to Tesco

Whilst shopping at the Earl's Court Tesco I spotted this well-known British funny man.

Strangely enough, he had a Chinese man pushing his trolley for him while he was on the phone the whole time.

10 points if you can guess who it is.

Wanting Sex, Cheating Girlfriends and Ann Widdecombe

Wanda and Anjelika go to a Conservative party meeting and meet Ann Widdecombe. Wanda and Anjelika debate what to do with a cheating girlfriend and dating white guys and lesbians.

"I'm ready for sex for sure, but am I ready to go out on a date with someone and have normal conversation?" - Anjelika

"Do I want to be fucking a judge?" - Wanda

"I'm ready to get fucked. I'm so ready to have sex." - Anjelika

"He's gorgeous! Gorgeous!" - Anjelika

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Tiger Woods: His Mistress will Get a Deal

Who cares about Tiger Woods? Seriously, who really cares? I've never been a fan of his. I don't hate him, but I don't especially like him either.

I just feel like I can't relate to him at all. Other than the fact that we have the same skin tone I really don't have anything in common with guy.

I don't understand what the furor is over this traffic accident he had? They guy hit a fire hydrant and tree on his own property. It's not really a big deal. So many people want to know what happened. It's so easy to figure out.

Anyone who hits a stationary objection on their own property is either intoxicated or recklessly trying to escape. As long as he didn't damage anyone else's property and as long as he didn't hurt anyone else what difference does it make?

I think that all the media attention on Tiger right now has little to do with the actual accident and much to do with the rumors that he's been cheating on his wife.

The alleged mistress of Tiger Wood's is Rachel Uchitel. I'm guessing that's a bad picture of her. I'm surprised that he would cheat on his wife with someone that looks vaguely like her. Maybe it's stereotypical to say, but all blonds look alike to me.

I'm not going to condemn Tiger for cheating. What I want to know is, why didn't he just use a hooker or call girl? Why have an affair with someone? If you're rich enough to pay someone, then you're rich enough to pay them to go away. Someone of his stature to have an affair, wreaks of cheapness, laziness and sloppiness.

Ultimately, I predict that the truth will come out. I predict that he'll admit to the affair. His dutiful Swedish wife will stand by him -- they do have two kids. I predict that some heat will come off Belle de Jour now that there's a new sex scandal about to emerge. I predict that the "homewrecker" Rachel Uchitel will land a TV deal-- most likely a reality TV deal. I mean isn't that how these things usually go?

Win!

Win a Trip to Paris

We're celebrating 200,000 downloads this month.

In celebration for this glorious feat, we are giving away one set of 2 Eurostar tickets from London to city of love, Paris.

All you have to do is answer a few short questions about the podcast.

1. What did Wanda’s flatmate leave in the freezer before he moved out?
2. At what age did Anjelika lose her virginity?
3. What channel 4 show was Anjelika featured in?
4. What mean thing did Anjelika do to the BFE?
5. What radio presenter did Anjelika have net sex with?

All answers are in the podcast episodes

Bonus question: Who is the celebrity Anjelika used a strap-on on?


And send your answers into contest@naivelondongirl.com

Terms and Conditions
1. The competition (the "Competition") is open to residents of the UK aged 18 and over.

2. The Competition is not open to employees or agencies of Naïve London Girl("NLG"), its group companies or their family members, or employees or agencies of Eurostar Group Limited ("Eurostar"), its group companies or their family members.

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12. 1 winners will each receive a pair of standard class day return tickets on Eurostar from St Pancras International Station, London to either Paris. The prize will be divided as follows: 40 winners will win tickets to Paris; 40 winners will win tickets to Brussels; and 40 winners will win tickets to Lille. Tickets will be allocated to winners on a random basis. Tickets to and from Paris may only be used on the following trains certain dates and not during school holidays.) Changes to the train times will be notified to winners by Eurostar.

13. Winners will be notified by email from NLG between Monday 1 October and Monday 8 October 2007. If winners do not respond to the instructions contained in this e-mail within 48 hours of the e-mail having been sent, then that winner's prize will be re-allocated to another entrant.

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The Top 5 Most Useless Celebrities on Twitter

The Top 5 Most Useless Celebrities on Twitter


Demi More @mrskutcher
Sure she was good in St. Elmo’s Fire. Hell, I even liked her in Ghost. She’s beautiful, talented and from what I hear a darn nice person. That makes it all the more surprising how absolutely inane her tweets are. They’re not funny, insightful or have any relevance on anyone’s life. Clearly she needs to spend more time acting and less time tweeting. Tweeted topics: Kaballah, faith, books, grammar.


John Mayer @johncmayer
I just wish he would just go away and take @jenniferaniston with him.



Lily Allen @lilyroseallen
Her first album is good. Her second album is okay. Like a lot of people I have a love / hate relationship with her. Sometimes she’s awesome and other times I end up rolling my eyes at her. On Twitter, she’s goes between profane and irritating. If you like tweets such as, “I’m so hungry I could eat the arse off a low-flying duck,” Then maybe you won’t find her as annoying as I do. Tweeted topics: Hunger, reading music, being on tour, days off


Perez Hilton @perezhilton
Can I classify him as a celeb? He already has a very popular blog. He has at least 2 Twitter accounts (@perezhiltonblog). His microblogging just seems like overkill to me. Some advice for Perez: Less is more.
Tweeted topics: Saying ‘hello’ to every celeb he can find on Twitter including @marthastewart, starting flame wars @lilyroseallen, never letting @johncmayer about their intimate kiss


Shaquille O’Neal @THE_REAL_SHAQ
Unlike the other celebs, I actually like Shaq. Even his ebonics-inspired spelling never fails to entertain me. I have no comprehension of why he’s on Twitter so that’s why I’ve thrown him in this category. If there was one tip I could give him it would be this: When you ask girls on Twitter for their phone number, do it via Direct Message.
Tweeted topics: Traffic court, Michael Phelps, Blackberry/Shaqberry, LA, Traffic

Comments, please?