Even Celebs Go to Tesco

Whilst shopping at the Earl's Court Tesco I spotted this well-known British funny man.

Strangely enough, he had a Chinese man pushing his trolley for him while he was on the phone the whole time.

10 points if you can guess who it is.

Wanting Sex, Cheating Girlfriends and Ann Widdecombe

Wanda and Anjelika go to a Conservative party meeting and meet Ann Widdecombe. Wanda and Anjelika debate what to do with a cheating girlfriend and dating white guys and lesbians.

"I'm ready for sex for sure, but am I ready to go out on a date with someone and have normal conversation?" - Anjelika

"Do I want to be fucking a judge?" - Wanda

"I'm ready to get fucked. I'm so ready to have sex." - Anjelika

"He's gorgeous! Gorgeous!" - Anjelika

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Tiger Woods: His Mistress will Get a Deal

Who cares about Tiger Woods? Seriously, who really cares? I've never been a fan of his. I don't hate him, but I don't especially like him either.

I just feel like I can't relate to him at all. Other than the fact that we have the same skin tone I really don't have anything in common with guy.

I don't understand what the furor is over this traffic accident he had? They guy hit a fire hydrant and tree on his own property. It's not really a big deal. So many people want to know what happened. It's so easy to figure out.

Anyone who hits a stationary objection on their own property is either intoxicated or recklessly trying to escape. As long as he didn't damage anyone else's property and as long as he didn't hurt anyone else what difference does it make?

I think that all the media attention on Tiger right now has little to do with the actual accident and much to do with the rumors that he's been cheating on his wife.

The alleged mistress of Tiger Wood's is Rachel Uchitel. I'm guessing that's a bad picture of her. I'm surprised that he would cheat on his wife with someone that looks vaguely like her. Maybe it's stereotypical to say, but all blonds look alike to me.

I'm not going to condemn Tiger for cheating. What I want to know is, why didn't he just use a hooker or call girl? Why have an affair with someone? If you're rich enough to pay someone, then you're rich enough to pay them to go away. Someone of his stature to have an affair, wreaks of cheapness, laziness and sloppiness.

Ultimately, I predict that the truth will come out. I predict that he'll admit to the affair. His dutiful Swedish wife will stand by him -- they do have two kids. I predict that some heat will come off Belle de Jour now that there's a new sex scandal about to emerge. I predict that the "homewrecker" Rachel Uchitel will land a TV deal-- most likely a reality TV deal. I mean isn't that how these things usually go?

Win!

Win a Trip to Paris

We're celebrating 200,000 downloads this month.

In celebration for this glorious feat, we are giving away one set of 2 Eurostar tickets from London to city of love, Paris.

All you have to do is answer a few short questions about the podcast.

1. What did Wanda’s flatmate leave in the freezer before he moved out?
2. At what age did Anjelika lose her virginity?
3. What channel 4 show was Anjelika featured in?
4. What mean thing did Anjelika do to the BFE?
5. What radio presenter did Anjelika have net sex with?

All answers are in the podcast episodes

Bonus question: Who is the celebrity Anjelika used a strap-on on?


And send your answers into contest@naivelondongirl.com

Terms and Conditions
1. The competition (the "Competition") is open to residents of the UK aged 18 and over.

2. The Competition is not open to employees or agencies of Naïve London Girl("NLG"), its group companies or their family members, or employees or agencies of Eurostar Group Limited ("Eurostar"), its group companies or their family members.

3. To enter the Competition you will need to send an e-mail with the correct answers into contest@naivelondongirlcom

4. Entry into the Competition is acceptance of these Terms and Conditions.

5. Entry into the Competition is also subject to NLG's Terms of Service and NLG's Privacy Policy In addition to these terms, by submitting an entry into the Competition you: 
a. agree that we may pass your name, address and e-mail address to Eurostar for use by them to fulfil their obligations in relation to the Competition; and 
b. grant Naïve London Girl a non-exclusive, perpetual, royalty-free, worldwide licence to republish your competition entry in electronic format and hard copy and the right to use your name, age and town of residence for the purposes of any relevant promotional activity conducted by it.

6. To enter the Competition, follow the instructions on the relevant webpage on Naïve London Girl.

7. There is no restriction on the number of times you may enter the Competition. However, you may only win one prize in total.

8. Entries on behalf of another person will not be accepted and joint submissions are not allowed.

9. No responsibility is taken for entries that are lost, delayed, misdirected or incomplete or cannot be delivered or entered for any technical or other reason. Proof of delivery of the entry is not proof of receipt.

10. The closing date and time of the Competition is midnight on 28 May 2009.

11. Naïve London Girl will choose the winning entries from the pile of correct answers from the Competition. The winning entries will be those the Travel Editor considers to be the most useful and entertaining tips of those submitted. Naïve London Girls decision will be made on or before 15 June 2009. This decision will be final and no correspondence will be entered into.

12. 1 winners will each receive a pair of standard class day return tickets on Eurostar from St Pancras International Station, London to either Paris. The prize will be divided as follows: 40 winners will win tickets to Paris; 40 winners will win tickets to Brussels; and 40 winners will win tickets to Lille. Tickets will be allocated to winners on a random basis. Tickets to and from Paris may only be used on the following trains certain dates and not during school holidays.) Changes to the train times will be notified to winners by Eurostar.

13. Winners will be notified by email from NLG between Monday 1 October and Monday 8 October 2007. If winners do not respond to the instructions contained in this e-mail within 48 hours of the e-mail having been sent, then that winner's prize will be re-allocated to another entrant.

14. Tickets will be issued direct to winners by Eurostar 21 days prior to departure..

15. The prize is non-exchangeable, non-transferable, and is not redeemable for cash or other prizes. NLG and Eurostar accept no responsibility for any costs associated with the prize and not specifically included in the prize, including, without limitation, costs of transfers and/or travel to London, visas, meals, accommodation and other living expenses and travel insurance.

16. Winners are responsible for obtaining and possessing a valid passport, insurance and any visas that may be required. Winners will not be permitted to travel unless they are in possession of the relevant travel documents at the time of departure.

17. NLG and Eurostar retain the right to substitute the prize with another prize of similar value in the event the original prize offered is not available.

18. The winner may be required for promotional activity.

20. Winning entries will be published in the Travel section of the Saturday Guardian in November 2007 or (at NLG's sole discretion) at a later date.

21. Subject to NLG's Terms of Service all entries into the Competition will be published in the Been There travel tips section of Guardian Unlimited, along with your user name.

22. No purchase necessary.

23. Nothing in these terms and conditions shall exclude the liability of NLG and/or Eurostar for death, personal injury, fraud or fraudulent misrepresentation as a result of their negligence.

24. NLG accepts no responsibility for any damage, loss, liabilities, injury or disappointment incurred or suffered by you as a result of entering the Competition or accepting the prize. NLG further disclaims liability for any injury or damage to you or any other person's computer relating to or resulting from participation in or downloading any materials in connection with the Competition.

25. NLG and Eurostar reserve the right at any time and from time to time to modify or discontinue, temporarily or permanently, this Competition with or without prior notice due to reasons outside their control (including, without limitation, in the case of anticipated, suspected or actual fraud). The decision of Eurostar or NLG in all matters under their respective control is final and binding.

26. Eurostar and NLG shall not be liable for any failure to comply with their obligations where the failure is caused by something outside their reasonable control. Such circumstances shall include, but not be limited to, weather conditions, fire, flood, hurricane, strike, industrial dispute, war, hostilities, political unrest, riots, civil commotion, inevitable accidents, supervening legislation or any other circumstances amounting to force majeure.

27. Eurostar's published Conditions of Carriage (copies of which are available from www.eurostar.com) shall apply to all carriage by rail pursuant to this promotion, and shall prevail in the event of inconsistency or conflict with the terms of this promotion.

28. The Competition will be governed by English law.

29. Promoter: NaiveLondonGirl info@naivelondongirl.com

The Top 5 Most Useless Celebrities on Twitter

The Top 5 Most Useless Celebrities on Twitter


Demi More @mrskutcher
Sure she was good in St. Elmo’s Fire. Hell, I even liked her in Ghost. She’s beautiful, talented and from what I hear a darn nice person. That makes it all the more surprising how absolutely inane her tweets are. They’re not funny, insightful or have any relevance on anyone’s life. Clearly she needs to spend more time acting and less time tweeting. Tweeted topics: Kaballah, faith, books, grammar.


John Mayer @johncmayer
I just wish he would just go away and take @jenniferaniston with him.



Lily Allen @lilyroseallen
Her first album is good. Her second album is okay. Like a lot of people I have a love / hate relationship with her. Sometimes she’s awesome and other times I end up rolling my eyes at her. On Twitter, she’s goes between profane and irritating. If you like tweets such as, “I’m so hungry I could eat the arse off a low-flying duck,” Then maybe you won’t find her as annoying as I do. Tweeted topics: Hunger, reading music, being on tour, days off


Perez Hilton @perezhilton
Can I classify him as a celeb? He already has a very popular blog. He has at least 2 Twitter accounts (@perezhiltonblog). His microblogging just seems like overkill to me. Some advice for Perez: Less is more.
Tweeted topics: Saying ‘hello’ to every celeb he can find on Twitter including @marthastewart, starting flame wars @lilyroseallen, never letting @johncmayer about their intimate kiss


Shaquille O’Neal @THE_REAL_SHAQ
Unlike the other celebs, I actually like Shaq. Even his ebonics-inspired spelling never fails to entertain me. I have no comprehension of why he’s on Twitter so that’s why I’ve thrown him in this category. If there was one tip I could give him it would be this: When you ask girls on Twitter for their phone number, do it via Direct Message.
Tweeted topics: Traffic court, Michael Phelps, Blackberry/Shaqberry, LA, Traffic

Comments, please?