Anal Sex For Lunch
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Anjelika Jinx: Hey, hey, hey this is Miss Anjelika Jinx and special guest...
Suzanne Portnoy: Suzanne Portnoy.
Anjelika: And you're listening to Naive London Girl. You can find us on the Internet at www.naivelondongirl.com. Or you can also find the podcast at naivelondongirl.podshow.com. So hey Suzanne. How are you doing?
Suzanne: Hey. I'm fine. So good to see you again.
Anjelika: You're looking... you look...you just came from the gym and you look better coming out of the gym than I do going into the gym.
Suzanne: Yeah, fourteen years of personal training, honey. This is what it gets you.
Anjelika: Wow, you have a personal trainer.
Suzanne: Yeah.
Anjelika: Does he motivate you?
Suzanne: He is Mr. Motivator. He's not actually Mr. Motivator, but he says... he goes, "Love it! Live It!". And I go, "Please, don't. I mean come on. Stop already."
Anjelika: Have you had several personal trainers over the years?
Suzanne: I have. I have. In fact, I have two personal trainers. I have one on a Wednesday and one on Saturday. And one on Wednesday is... kind of handsome guy in his late 30's. Balding. And the guy on Saturday is hot, young, twentysomething year old with blond, curly hair and big, great blue eyes and tells me about his girlfriend problems.
Anjelika: Wow. Have you ever...now this isn't getting too personal... have you ever had sex with one of your personal trainers?
Suzanne: No. Have I had? I have had sex with a personal trainer though. Twice. In New York both times. But not with my own personal trainer, cause that's crossing the work line.
Anjelika: Business and pleasure.
Suzanne: No. We don't do that. No. You have to face him in the morning.
Anjelika: OK. Alright. Wow. Alright. So I look to you for guidance, because you are so knowledgeable about sex in general. I'm just a little, old, naive London girl. But...
Suzanne: I'm very thorough in my knowledge.
Anjelika: You are! You are. So, in January Mr. Music Biz came over from America, and... so he wanted to get fucked.
Suzanne: Yeah. I read about that on your blog. And I saw some of the toys that you bought for that experience. And... yeah, you know for a beginner it was a good selection. [laughter]
Anjelika: I went in there blind. I'm like... so I had to get them basically that night, because I couldn't get them the next day. And so I just went in there and I'm like, "I don't know what to get." I'll just start putting stuff in the basket.
Suzanne: Yeah. It was very much a harmony selection, wasn't it?
Anjelika: Yes! That's exactly where I went.
Suzanne: It was like some sort of harmony beginner's selection you just went through. I'll put that one off though I mean. No. Seriously. I read your blog about Mr. Music Biz and wanting to get jammed up the ass, and I thought, well... if you'd known earlier. You didn't.
Anjelika: I didn't.
Suzanne: You didn't. So you were just having to pull whatever you could together.
Anjelika: Yeah.
Suzanne: So God bless you. I mean...
Anjelika: I try.
Suzanne: You tried. You tried. I mean in an ideal world I had a strapon, beautiful strapon, made for me by... for a guy who said that he wanted that. And I said, "OK. It's nothing I've done before, but because you're special to me, I'm going to get a special strapon for you."
Anjelika: Yeah.
Suzanne: And I went to these two lesbian chicks who are just amazing. And their website is called Beautiful and Damned. And I actually went to see them and picked out my suede and had the whole thing fitted for me. And they gave me this amazing dildo from Babes and Horny who do the most amazing dildos ever.
Anjelika: Wow!
Suzanne: I mean they really are fantastic.
Anjelika: Do they have a URL?
Suzanne: Yeah. Yeah. Babesandhorn.com.
Anjelika: Babesandhorny.com. OK. Cool.
Suzanne: Yeah. And beautifulanddamned.com. And those are the two chicks for super strapon action because mainly they just deal with women. So...
Anjelika: Yeah.
Suzanne: You know they're going to make sure they do it right. But I mean I haven't had a lot of experience in strapon. And I've had some fairly disastrous and some really great experiences. But the first thing, I mean you said that the thing kept slipping. So that's....
Anjelika: Yeah!
Suzanne: One thing these lesbian chicks told me, which in fact I haven't tried and which is a really interesting piece of information is that they told me cause I said, "the thing about strapons is that I'm not getting much pleasure out of it."
Anjelika: Yeah.
Suzanne: You know there is a kind of power trip going on which I liked. It was like I'm screwing you. How does it feel?
Anjelika: Yeah.
Suzanne: I'm fucking you. You know you can get into the role play. But, the bottom line is that I'm not going to come. So this isn't all that great for me.
Anjelika: Yeah.
Suzanne: But they said put the strapon much lower down so that the ring, which keeps the dildo in place, is actually on your clit.
Anjelika: Ooooh.
Suzanne: Interesting little tip, I thought. They said, that because when you're screwing someone and the ring is then rubbing against your clit, it's actually going to probably get you off faster than the person who is being fucked.
Anjelika: Right.
Suzanne: Interesting tip which I haven't had the experience to try out yet. I haven't had that opportunity. But I thought that was interesting. And the other thing was make sure that the strapon is really tight so that it's not falling off you.
Anjelika: It wasn't so tight.
Suaznne: And if it comes with lots of ring sizes, make sure that the dildo that you use... the ring is really tight up against it so it's not slipping in and out all the time.
Anjelika: I didn't know what those rings were for! [laughter]
Anjelika: I thought they were cock rings or earrings or... I'm like, "what do these do?" They're still in the plastic at home.
Suzanne: Yeah. So that's what they're for. So that's the other thing. And the other thing, which, again, I haven't had the opportunity to use, is, following my last strapon experience, I thought, I want to really enjoy this, so I went to a shop when I was in New York called Babe Land, which was, like, a really famous shop.
Anjelika: And was that on the Lower East Side?
Suzanne: Yeah. It's just the coolest sex shop in the world. And they, and I bought from them this double, this strapon dildo thing which has basically got a small bit that goes inside me ...
Anjelika: Right.
Suzanne: ... And another bit that goes inside them. But I've not had the opportunity to use that yet. It's still $80 worth of dildos sitting in my drawer, just waiting for that right opportunity.
Anjelika: So now I also found out that I think I'm a little too short to use a strapon on someone who is tall.
Suzanne: It is absolutely so hard. And that was my disaster experience. I was with a guy who is 6foot4, and he'll tell you [laughs] because it was so bad. We were really wasted, and I told him I had this strapon and he said to me, "Hey, that sounds kind of cool. We should try that out." And I said, "Yeah, sure. OK." But this is after, like, he's fisted me and it was a pretty intense evening, and I couldn't get into a position that was comfortable.
Anjelika: Ahh.
Suzanne: I was trying to squat, and I couldn't get there, and then I was trying to lie on the side and I couldn't get there, and in fact, I ended up jamming the thing up his ass too hard. He screamed his head off, and in fact he told me the next day his anus was in so much pain he ended up shitting in a field. [laughter]
Anjelika: Oh, my god!
Suzanne: Oh, ah, yeah. But he's still my friend, god love him. But, I haven't had that experience repeated again, although he says I won't preclude the fact that it might do, but let's be a bit more gentle. But I think the height differential is an issue.
Anjelika: It was.
Suzanne: My friend, Selina, who went to a workshop on using a strapon by this porn star who does these sexeducation videos, whose name I've forgotten, she said the mistake a lot of women make is that they think they have to imitate a guy, so they think they have to use their pelvis the whole time, and we're not used to that, because we don't have sex that way. So, it's so exhausting, if you pretend you're a guy, and you're wearing a strapon. But she said rock your whole body back and forth. You don't necessarily have to just tilt your pelvis. So she said that's a kind of trick. But, I couldn't get the height thing.
Anjelika: Yeah. No, there's no way to resolve it. And it's like I needed to be a few inches taller to really ...
Suzanne: That's how I felt, as well. Because he was 66, I'm 55. I just couldn't work it out. I'm sure that in, with time and love and care I would have gotten there, but, I was way to wasted. We had four bottles of wine. I mean, there was no way this was going to ...
Anjelika: And then I sort of want to do it again, because I feel bad ... It wasn't a horrible experience, it just wasn't cracked up to ...
Suzanne: No.
Anjelika: It wasn't what I thought it would be. I thought it would be, like, "Wow. This is so cool. This is so dirty. This is so amazing." It was just a really clumsy experience.
Suzanne: That's how I felt, as well. But then I had it with somebody who was a smaller man, and I wasn't drunk, and I used the same apparatus, and it worked really well, and he really got off. In fact, I've done it with, maybe, in my whole life, not that many, maybe four or five guys, and except for that one experience with the really tall guy, the rest of the time was great.
And I think the other thing was that, like, if you're ... in the same way that if you're a woman you need to lead, and you need to say, "stop, go, stop, go, OK, push now, " the person taking it still needs to lead. Because I felt that the he wasn't experienced enough. He just went from [humming] to [screaming].
Anjelika: Then what size, like, dong or what dildo did you get?
Suzanne: Like, mine was, I use a really quite narrow one, and about six inches long. It's not that big.
Anjelika: Because the one I had was like five inches. And I think that was still too big for him.
Suzanne: But it's the width. Not so much the length. It was the width. Mine's quite narrow. I would consider mine a small penis.
Anjelika: [laughs]
Suzanne: Frankly.
Anjelika: Yes. [both women laugh]
Suzanne: I mean, I've stuck much bigger things than that up my bum. But, I just thought let's be gentle here.
Anjelika: OK, so, for other sort of butt toys or anal toys, we also had the vibrating butt plug. What do you think about that?
Suzanne: Hmm, I had a vibrating butt plug. I found the vibrations too much. I pulled the little bullet thing out of it.
Anjelika: Yeah.
Suzanne: Yeah, I found it got a bit painful, actually. I didn't like it. I like just a normal butt plug.
Anjelika: Right.
Suzanne: But the vibrating thing, I don't know. It just didn't do it for me.
Anjelika: It was OK.
Suzanne: Was it up your butt?
Anjelika: Well, one up his. And one up mine. Not at the same time. But it was, so ...
Suzanne: It was OK.
Anjelika: It was OK. It didn't ...
Suzanne: It's not amazing, though.
Anjelika: I mean, it's sort of the best part about the whole thing was not actually the toys, it was just sort of the experience ... fucking on the waterbed.
Suzanne: So, your waterbed.
Anjelika: My waterbed. Speaking waterbeds, did you feel that earthquake last night?
Suzanne: Well, no, but my son woke me up and said to me, "What went on last night? Because my bed shook." And I thought it was just the train that's like two streets away. And then it wasn't until I realized that there was an earthquake that I realized that he actually had felt the earthquake. That's kind of freaky.
Anjelika: I felt the vibrations in my bed, because I was perfectly still, because I have a waterbed and all of a sudden the water starts shaking.
Suzanne: Started shaking? That's freaky.
Anjelika: Yeah, freaky.
Suzanne: It is freaky, yeah. But I, yeah, I don't, never really got into the vibrating butt plug. I love regular butt plugs, and I love anal beads, and I think that if you're having sex, and you're being penetrated up your vagina and something is in your butt, it feels great. And, I think that, generally, with toys, it's just a matter of filling you up.
Anjelika: Yeah.
Suzanne: I think, for me, it's just a matter of filling me up. I don't, you know, if I'm going to be shagged up my ass I want it to be by a guy with his cock. I don't want, really want it to be ...
Anjelika: See, I still haven't ...
Suzanne: ... not a toy.
Anjelika: I still haven't gone there. I still haven't reached that ...
Suzanne: That level.
Anjelika: I still have my anal virginity.
Suzanne: [laughing] Yeah, well, you've got plenty of time. You know?
Anjelika: One day, when the right cock come along, I suppose.
Suzanne: [laughing] Exactly! But it's also, just, you know, it's just a matter of being relaxed, using lots of lube, and being somebody who is not going to just jam it up there. You know?
Anjelika: Yeah.
Suzanne: I had it at lunch today, and it was lovely.
Anjelika: Tell us about your lunch experience! Your lunch sounds a lot better than mine!
Suzanne: [laughing] I know. And it was great, actually. It was so naughty, too. I was just horny, and I texted this guy that I usually just meet for breakfast, and I said, "What are you doing tomorrow morning?" And he said, "I'm fucking you." And I said, "Great. OK." And then he said, "But I could be fucking you at lunch." And I went, "Oh. Lunch?" And it was one o'clock. And I said, "OK." And he said, "One thirty at yours?" And I said, "Well, I could make it onefortyfive. I have to shave my pussy." And then, we ought to do, you know, just make sure it's all clean and everything.
Anjelika: [laughing]
Suzanne: So, he showed up at onefortyfive. God, when did he leave? Maybe a bit earlier, one forty or something. And he just walked in. I had my little, my blindfold on, and I was already wearing my holdups and my dress and my really high boots, and he just, basically, shagged me. And then he turned me over and stuck his cock up my ass and then I just, yeah! [laughs]
Anjelika: That's such a great lunch! I went to a Chinese buffet. And, ...
Suzanne: It was. And then I said, "Move onto the chair." Because I have this chair in my bedroom. And I said, "Just bend me over the chair." And he bent me the chair, and then ... and then he always comes in my face. It's the only way he can come.
Anjelika: Really?
Suzanne: Yeah. So, he came all over my face, got it all over my dress. I had to change. [laughs]
Anjelika: Do you have a preferred place for guys to come?
Suzanne: No, no. But it's his thing.
Anjelika: Yeah.
Suzane: It's his thing. He only can ... I said, "If you want to come on my ass you can come on my ass." And he said, "No, I want to come in your face." So I said, "OK, fine." Because that's your gig." So, it was fine, but it made a bit of a mess, so I had to change my dress. So when I went back to work after lunch ...
[laughter]
Anjelika: You were wearing a different outfit. What's up with that, Suzanne?
Suzanne: No one said a word. I think there is this silence is enough. Yeah, I said you can't have cum stains on the collar.
Anjelika: You can't.
Suzanne: It's just not a good look. Yeah, it was hot. And he said, "Do you think I'm going to make my meeting in Edgewood at 2:30?" And I said, "No. You are definitely going to be late. Can I tell you that right now?" Didn't matter. Oh, well.
Anjelika: Sounds like he had a great time.
Suzanne: He did. I hadn't seen him in about a month. It was good. He is in my book, actually.
Anjelika: Is he?
Suzanne: He is my breakfast guy.
Anjelika: I was about to say: why don't you tell us a little more about your book? Because I saw, I was so excited, I was on the tube, I don't remember what tube, I took a tube line I usually don't take.
Suzanne: It is on 82. I have 82 posters.
Anjelika: Get out!
Suzanne: Yes.
Anjelika: I saw it on the tube, and I was so excited, "Look! I know her! I know her!"
Suzanne: I know. It's so pathetic that I went round the tube station, in disguise with my friend who works at the Water Stones in Notting Hill, and just took pictures of myself next to my posters, with like "Notting Hill Gate" above it and "Holland Park" and "Bonn Street." And I said to my kids, because they said, "What did you do this weekend?" because it was my kidsfree weekend. I said, "Oh, you know, I was really pathetic. I went round all the tube stations in my leopard print dress with my heels on and my black wig taking pictures of myself by my own tube poster." And they said, "That is so sad."
[laughter]
Suzanne: And I said, "Look. How many people have a tube poster? I'm sorry."
Anjelika: No. I would do the same thing. I would be shameless about it. I would take photos; I would send it to people.
Suzanne: Of course you would. Of course. You would send it to everyone on the planet. I didn't, but I would have done, but I just didn't. No, but it's going incredibly well. The interesting thing about it is, because I had a big piece in the Sunday Times magazine which was amazing and completely fluky. The whole thing was just a big fluke. I still can't believe that I was on the cover of the Sunday Times magazine. I just looked at it and went, "OK." You know, you can get dinners out of that for the rest of your life, if it's sordid.
It has propelled the sales of my first book, and I think that is because the second book is basically the ongoing story, so now I have become like the Happy Hooker, only I'm the Happy Housewife or something.
So, essentially, my life is now just about writing as this divorced middleaged sex fiend. It's fine.
Anjelika: It sounds great.
Suzanne: Someone has to do it, I think, but yes, I was propelled. Following that, my first book went to like 22 on Amazon, which was incredible. My second book went to like 100, which was great. But actually, I think the second book is better than the first. But I think they are very, very different books. The first book was very much a story about how I got to be who I am, the story about being married and meeting someone that changed my life in York and then wanted to explore all these things, and then coming out of that relationship and really just reveling in being a sexual woman again.
So that is what the first book was about, and it was a very important book for me to write, just because I thought, "No one is going to believe this." I was celibate for four years during my marriage, and I had basically forgotten about my sex life.
Then somebody came along that just kind of twicked a switch, and then it all revved up again. Then I became someone who became very interested in sex, and very excited about the whole thing again.
The second book is much more about when you make the decision not to be monogamous, when you decide that you're not just going to settle for any old guy who's going to shag you, just because he is going to shag you.
You say, well yeah, OK, I mean it was a great shag, but let's look at the whole picture here. You have four kids from four different women. I don't see any stable financial situation; you're living from hand to mouth.
I'm not saying that there is a real great future in this, although some women might, I'm not one of them. When you say, well OK, let's just enjoy people for what they are and not project into this huge expectation of the future and what it all could be about and this whole love thing and marriage and everything, what that means?
So, it means for me having a lot of fun. So, I can't complain. But basically that's what my second book is about. My second book is very much about when you live this alternative lifestyle, what it comes down to, which is, sometimes you meet people that are great, sometimes you meet people that are a bit nuts.
Sometimes you meet people that you like, and you wish didn't think, "Oh, you're the chick that wrote that book. I don't even understand what you're expecting here. Like I thought you didn't do boyfriends."
Angelika: Yeah.
Suzanne: So, there are a lot of different levels, which actually I think makes it quite an interesting book, because for me that's where my life is now. You meet people, some of them have expectations, some of them just take me as I am. Some of them, I've had relationships with now for years, which are just extremely satisfying sexual relationships. Some of them just come and go. I mean it's bizarre, because I in order to get to the studio, I have to pass a guy's flat, whom until quite recently I was sleeping with for eight months.
You know what, it just reached an end where I just thought I can't teach him anymore, and I'm not getting off on this relationship anymore, and there is a whole bunch of other stuff going on that I'm not really into.
But we had eight months, we went away together and stuff. But you know, the sad thing is, I don't think about him anymore. I passed his flat, and I'm like and the only reason I thought about him is I thought, "Oh there is his flat. There it is, right over there."
I thought I haven't spoken to the guy in a couple of months, eight solid months of hanging out, day goes by, another day, I don't even think about him.
Angelika: Now, it's just a passing part. Not even...
Suzanne: It's kind of weird, a bit weird when you do have some kind of a relationship with somebody for a period of time, and you realize that actually you can just end it and that's it. It just like ends, the end is the end.
Angelika: It's sort of like the circle of life.
Suzanne: Yeah, it's the end is the end, isn't it? Anyway, so...
Angelika: So, I was going to come to your book reading, but it was on Valentine's Day.
Suzanne: I know, there is another one on Sunday though.
Angelika: OK, cool, well I can come to that one, but it was on Valentine's Day. I was like hoping, OK, maybe I will luckily have a date on Valentine's Day, because I wrote about all my really bad Valentine's Day...
Suzanne: I saw that.
Angelika: Alright. So, then no dates materialized, and I figured, you know what, I don't want to do the friends thing. I've done enough friends things on Valentine's Day. I'm just going to go home. It's going to be a normal day. I wanted to be super romantic or just normal.
Suzanne: Normal.
Angelika: Alright. So, Wanda talked me into going to some thing, I don't know. I wasn't excited about it at first, but I'm like alright, what the fuck, I'll just go.
Suzanne: Wait, like a singles thing on Valentine's Day?
Angelika: Yeah I guess, but the music sounded like it would be good. She cancelled on me on Valentine's Day.
Suzanne: Oh no. This is like your worst nightmare. So, did you go on your own?
Angelika: I just didn't go.
Suzanne: Oh you didn't go. So, that's OK, because the worst thing would have been just turning up, not with your friend, just, like, there, going, "Yeah, I'm sad and desperate." [laughs]
Anjelika: I should have just stuck with my principles and said, "No, I'm not doing it."
Suzanne: Well, you should have just come to my reading, which was a blast, actually. We had a real hoot. It was really fun. There were a few kind of pervy fans there, who said things like, "Can I just touch your bum?"
Anjelika: Oh, that's so weird.
Suzanne: I'll tell you. Yeah, I will tell you my Valentine's day stories. So, I do this reading. And this guy that I slept with, well, I didn't sleep with him. I just shagged him in my car like a year ago. But it was hot, and he had a nice sized cock. After that, he got a girlfriend. And, that was fine. He said, "Look, I want to try and do the serious girlfriend thing. So, it's probably best we don't stay in touch." And I said, "That's cool." And then, he got in touch a week before Valentine's Day, and said, "What are you up to?" And I said, "I'm doing this reading." And he said, "I'll be your Valentine's Day date. My girlfriend's away." Scheme or something.
So, I thought, "Well, that thing in your car was pretty hot. And actually, from what I remember, it was all pretty good. So, yeah that would be pretty cool." That's that sordid. Turn up at Waterstone's. My normal swinging partner is there, who is a guy who's like, you know, the best fuck ever, as he says.
Anjelika: Yes.
Suzanne: And, he's probably the best fuck ever for lots of women. I mean, he's just, he's a guy that's been swinging for ten years, and he is massively experienced, and we've now gotten to the point in our relationship where basically we don't, every time we have sex we have simultaneous orgasms.
Anjelika: Wow.
Suzanne: And it's not even planned. It just happens. So that's the kind of sick level that we're on. [laughs] But we've been doing this for three and a half years, so it's taken a while.
Anjelika: I've never had a simultaneous orgasm.
Suzanne: I know, but do you know what? I hardly have them, either. And recently, that's all we have. So it's kind of, do you know? This has now gotten to the point where even though we're not in a relationship, and I don't even want a relationship with you, you've now gotten to the stage where I can't even imagine anybody will ever be as good as you. Because, you've slept with thousands of women, and you're so, he's so attuned to women and he's so able to control his own orgasms, and he's kind of Tantric, and the whole, it's just, it's too amazing. And in fact, I'd rent him out to people.
Anjelika: [laughs]
Suzanne: I would. Just so you know what, like, what really, really, really amazing sex is like. And he's not, like, he's not George Clooney, and he's not the most gorgeous guy, but he is a very, you know, he's a handsome man. Fifty years old? Fiftytwo? Something like that. So, anyway, he turns up. I'm not expecting him to turn up. And a few other people turn up, that I've slept with. But, you know, I don't think any of them are thinking that I'm going to go with them.
But I can tell that my swinging partner is thinking, I've turned up and it's Valentine's Day, and she's doing her reading. Do you know what? This will be cool. So what do I have to ... I have to say to him, "Look, I'm really sorry. See that guy over there?"
Anjelika: You turned down the best fuck ever?
Suzanne: I turned down the best fuck ever to go with the guy from the car a year ago. Who, as it turns out, he tells me later, hasn't slept for three days because he's so stressed out. But rather than telling me after what amounts to fairly disastrous sex, which gets to the point where, he thinks he's shagging me up the ass, but isn't.
Anjelika: [gasps]
Suzanne: And then says to me, "Wow, your ass is so tight." And I say to him, "You're not in my ass, sweetheart."
Anjelika: Oh, God! The embarrassment. [laughter]
Suzanne: He's like, "I'm not?" "No, you're not, OK. But it's cool. Don't worry about it." Anyway. So we have what amounts to OK sex, and then he says to me, "Look, I'm not really into the whole fucking thing. I'm more of an intimacy kind of guy." Which I thought, biggest getout clause ever.
Anjelika: Yeah. Doesn't he need to share that with his girlfriend?
Suzanne: Exactly. Like, this is the woman that you're just with for a shag because your girlfriend is away. I'm not the intimacy person, remember? And my alternative was the best fuck ever. But I turned him down on Valentine's Day, to be with you. [laughs]
Anjelika: Ooh! The gods can be so cruel sometimes.
Suzanne: Absolutely. And I just ... yeah. He left about one o'clock, or ... and I haven't spoken to him since. But ....
Anjelika: I try not to quote "Sex and the City" too often, but as Samantha once said, "Fuck me badly once, shame on you. Fuck me badly twice, shame on me." So ...
Suzanne: [laughing] Yeah. Yeah. That was so, mine ... I mean it was not terrible. I'm probably making it worse than it was. It wasn't that terrible. But ...
Anjelika: The idea that you turned down the best fuck ever.
Suzanne: Yeah, and the best fuck ever, also, I think, was going to bring in his friend, who also would have been ... so, it would have been a threesome on Valentine's Day. Do you know what? It would have been just so great. [laughs]
Anjelika: Oh, man!
Suzanne: No!
Anjelika: I wish I would have been there to be your support system!
Suzanne: [still laughing] But no! Yeah. There you go. But sometimes we make bad choices.
Anjelika: That's true.
Suzanne: And my friend was saying to me, and then he says to me afterwards, "I didn't even realize you were putting so much pressure on me being your Valentine's Day date." And I'm like, "Well, you were the one who suggested it." And I said, "Do you know, I live in a world of high stakes, so, if you had said to me at Waterstone's, 'Look, honey, I haven't slept for three days. I am so whacked. I would love to go home with you. But I don't really think that's a good idea at the moment, because I really need to get to bed.'"
Anjelika: You would have taken a rain check.
Suzanne: I would have taken a rain check. I would have looked at my friend, the best fuck ever, and I would have said [kissing noises] "You're mine tonight." It would have been fine, anyway. So, you had a notsogreat Valentine's Day, and I had a ...
Anjelika: I've had a series of notsogreat Valentine's Days. I'm waiting to have a good Valentine's Day.
Suzanne: Me too, actually. I just write them all off. I just think it's best not to put any expectation on it.
Anjelika: Well, I think so. I think so. I mean, at least ...
Suzanne: Let's make a vow.
Anjelika: Shall we?
Suzanne: That every Valentine's Day we should just ring each other up and say, "Nothing doing tonight, right?" "That's right, nothing doing." And I'm going to go, "Great."
Anjelika: I mean, I just want to, you know ... I didn't even want to do a "Sex in the City" marathon. I just wanted to just watch, I don't know, the news?
Suzanne: Yeah, yeah.
Anjelika: Read the paper?
Suzanne: Yeah, just do the normal thing.
Anjelika: And just go to sleep.
Suzanne: Yeah.
Anjelika: You know.
Suzanne: I can ... I can feel your pain.
Anjelika: Anyhow, we'd better wrap up this podcast. This has been Miss Anjelika Jinx.
Suzanne: And this is Suzanne Portnoy.
Anjelika: And Suzanne, do you want to plug your podcast?
Suzanne: Yes, my podcast is on SuzannePortnoy.com, and you can just go into the podcast section on my web site, and you'll find it there, and the most recent one is actually an excerpt from my book, which is called, The Not So Invisible Woman. Which has just come out.
Anjelika: And, It's Your problem.
Suzanne: And, It's Your problem, which is the one before them. And then, we're continuing the It's Your Problem series. In fact, the next one I think I'm focusing on cunnilingus and fellatio. I think the next one that is to come is the fellatio episode, so, which is one of my favorite things to do, so.
Anjelika: Girls, the anal sex one has been my favorite so far.
Suzanne: Yeah, that was a twopart special. [Music begins coming up under speakers]
Anjelika: OK, well thank you for listening. You can check out my podcast at naivelondongirl.podshow.com or check out my blog at www.naivelondongirl.com. Thanks a lot everyone. Bye. [music]
[end of audio]
Transcription by CastingWords
Labels: Anal Sex, podcast, strap-ons, Suzanne Portnoy
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