And So I Waited…

And So I Waited…

Phil Petrol, the VP of Ad sales was supposed to call me 8:30 PM yesterday. Although I had the chance to save my dignity and abscond, I actually ended up staying in my office, perusing though PerezHilton.com for gossip. Every fibre of my being said “Go home, don’t wait for this idiot,” But part of me was curious, why had he suddenly asked me out?

At 9:00 PM I got tired of waiting. So I left my office in search of something to eat. I told myself, “If he doesn’t call by the time I eat, then I’ll just get on the tube and go home.”

I headed off to McDonalds and bought a happy meal for £1.99. Whenever I buy a happy meal I pretend that it’s for my non-existent kid which seems less embarrassing than admitting you’re a cheapskate. The cashier didn’t take the bait, hence I didn’t receive a fun, yet useless happy meal toy.

After I ate, still there was no call, no text, nothing from him. So I thought to myself, “If he doesn’t call by the time I get to Chancery Lane, I’ll get on the tube and go home.”

I got to Chancery Lane. Not a word from him. I got on the Central Line and headed to Bank. I changed trains to the DLR. It seemed to take ages for a train towards Canary Wharf to arrive. I passed the time by playing Breakout on my Blackberry.

As soon as the train surfaced above ground I received a text message from him. He says he’s on his way and that he’ll meet me in Covent Garden in 30 minutes. Damn, not enough time to go home. Too much time to go directly there, but whatever. For once in my life I was ridiculously early.

I arrived at Covent Garden and watched a street performer play an acoustic version of Blondie’s “Call me.” Out of sheer boredom I played a few more games a Breakout, beating my all-time high score. I called, the Voice-of-Reason in New York. I called a friend in Spain. I called another friend in LA.

While I was on the phone I got a text from Phil Petrol saying that he’ll be 10 more minutes and he’s on his way. It was past 10PM now.

What the fuck am I doing? It’s 10:30 on a school night and I’m waiting here in Covent Garden like an idiot. What did I really think was going to happen.

15 minutes later he arrives. He looks good. He’s wearing a light blue Armani shirt and dark trousers. He has a posh yet difficult to place accent. Apparently he’s a child of the world, having grown up in 4 different counties. At times he sounds English, then mildly Australian, bizarrely Canadian cross ed with posh American boarding school type accent; think Julianne Moore in The Big Lebowski.

He apologize for being late explains that he was at a business dinner with some folks from Nintendo; that he’s negotiating to get a free Wii and a Wii fit, for his own personal benefit. My God! I’m playing second fiddle to a piece of exercise equipment!

We go to one of the many pubs in area all the while I’m trying to figure out his agenda. I want to know:

1. What does he want?
2. Is it appropriate for me to be hanging out with a married man past 8PM in the evening?
3. Does his wife know where he is?

He buys me a white wine and orders the same for himself. We talk about work stuff. It’s nothing out of the ordinary except that it’s nearly 11PM. Surely, he could have talked about work stuff at work, no?

The pub calls last orders. We finish our wine then search for another pub. We end up at the Walkabout – ugh! For those of you not from London, the Walkabout is a cheesy Australian-themed pub. Young crowd. Party atmosphere. Loud music Faux Australian culture. Basically everything I detest in a pub. But we had little choice. As the Voice-of-Reason would say, “Any port in a storm.”

We order a bottle of white wine and take a seat in the back. Phil Petrol keeps mentioning the low-cut top I wore during the Christmas party. I try to visualize what I was wearing, but I can’t quite remember.

“I’m sure I remember you telling me at the Christmas party that you were gay,” he says to me.

“No, I’m not. I must have been joking if I said that.”

“It just weird’s me out, man. Cuz, well, you know…”

“No, I don’t know,” I say challenging him.

“Cuz, well, I, um, well, I was looking at your breasts that night. And I had these thoughts.”

“Like thoughts that I was gay?”

“It’s this top you were wearing. So low cut. And I kept looking at your breasts.”

“Well, yes. They’re there to be stared at,” I say jovially.

“But, well, after that night. I put you in another category.”

“The gay category?”

“Just that category where nothing would ever happen between us.”

I sense a slippery slope here, but I pursue with the questioning. “Shouldn’t I have always been in that category?

He seems nervous; tongue tied, and a bit frustrating at me for not being able to understand him. He takes a deep breath.

“I fancy you,” he states, “There. I’ve said it. And when you wore that low cut top I thought about what it would be like to suck your nipples.”

I barely raise an eyebrow. I’ve been down this path before with the BFE, CS, the DG, and the Shark. Suddenly, I’m not feeling so naïve.

“Cool,” I say in a confident and bitchy way that could only suggest I have his balls in my hands and I’m calling the shots.

“And I think about how great it would be to lie naked with you,”

I don’t ask the obvious questions:

• How long have you felt this way?
• What about your wife?
• What about your kids?

Instead, I ask him more pertinent questions:

• How often do you masturbate?
• What are your top three things to do in bed?
• Do you have an erection right now? [and I feel for proof]

He seems thrown by the conversation. He pauses for long periods of time before he speaks. As if he had been anticipating a conversation with me, but not quite this conversation.
I tease him a bit. I lean in and go for a kiss. I put my hand on his crotch. I can feel raging hard on beneath his trousers. His kisses are nice, gentle. He has plump lips; almost as big as mine, but not quite.

We spend twenty minutes kissing. We finish the bottle of wine. By then he’s begging me to set a day where he can leave work early and come over to my place.

“Why? “ I ask him. “I mean, what’s in it for me?”

But this point I was quite drunk. I don’t remember what he said, but I do remember his answer was so pathetically laughable; merely a flimsy excuse to fuck.

I’m evasive. I tell him, ‘sometime in the future, maybe.” Still, he presses me for a time, a day. I don’t give in.

We exit the walk about and walk towards Piccadilly Circus so we can both catch our respective night busses. We’re walking and then suddenly he turns and pins me against the wall. I can feel his cock pulsating against my leg. He kisses me and then kisses me some more. “I want you Anjelika.”

I feel my pussy getting wetter. I was now officially horny.

We continue walking. I realize that I need to use the loo.

“I’m walking back to the office to use the bathroom,” I tell him.

“Oh, I have to use the bathroom too.”

“Quelle coincidence!” I say ironically.

“No, really, I do,” he insists. Whatever!

It takes 20 minutes to walk back our office building. I go in first. The office is silent and empty. The lights are out in the women’s bathroom. I pee, then wash my hands and check my make up to see if it’s okay. What the hell? It’s midnight and I look fabulous—or at least as fabulous as I will look at this hour.

As I walk to my desk I past the board room. He’s standing in the doorway of the board room urging me to come in.

“I’ll be back in a couple minutes. I have to go to my desk,” I tell him.

I continue on to my desk. I had received an urgent e-mail on my Blackberry from one of our producers in California. I need to send some files to her before the end of business day in LA. I send the files that were needed. I answer a few more e-mails. I check my MySpace page. I play another game of Brickbreaker. Then, I get up and go to the board room.

I open the door and there is Phil Petrol standing before me completely naked.

And his cock is massive!

Shower-head Masturbation Techniques for Girls

This week has been about stress relief and masturbation. I had gone off masturbation for a while. I’m not exactly sure why? Too busy? Too tired? Already had a fuck buddy? All of those reasons may have come into play but I think I had simply forgot how great it is to make myself cum.

In this hot summer heat I’ve been taking a lot of showers. Earlier in the week I decided to take a bath before bed instead of a shower. When crouched in the bathtub it always seems like a very good opportunity to use the showerhead massagers on my clit.

Here are the keys to a good showerhead masturbation session

Temperature:
The temperature of the water coming out of the showerhead should be on the coldish side. Even warm water tends to feel hot when it hits your clit.

Pressure:
Not enough pressure will leave you frustrated. Too much pressure will leave you sore. If you want to know how much pressure to use, the try this: Spread some softened butter or margarine on the palm of your hand. Then spray your hand with the showerhead. If the water removes the butter in 5 seconds, the pressure is good. If it doesn’t remove it at all, it’s bad. If it removes the butter almost immediately, the pressure may be too strong.

Distance:
The force of the water pressure will determine the distance you hold the shower head massager away from your clit. Personally, I like to feel the flow of the water just as it’s coming out of the shower head. The feeling of mounting the showerhead on to my clit is fantastic. If the water pressure is bad, however, you may have to hold the showerhead a few inches away.

Angle:
Angle is a tricky one. How much pressure can you take? Do you want a direct hit of the water onto your clit. Or is it better if it’s slightly indirect. I prefer to have it slightly indirect. If I take the full force of the water pressure directly onto my clit it’s too much to handle. There’s also another problem that arises with angle. At the same time your clit is getting stimulated by the, your pussy may be filling up with water. There have been so many times after I have taken a bath that I’ve gotten dressed and have been on my way out the door the suddenly, whoosh! Water had gathered in my hole and was suddenly on its way out. I imagine this is how it is when your water breaks.

Depending on how much water was stored up it may come out at different times. I’ve had occasions where up to an hour later I’ve had a few “leaks.” The easy answer to prevent this is to stick a tampon up your pussy. This will absorb all the water and prevent the leakage problem in the first place.

McGuyver it
If you happen to be at a hotel away from your normal showerhead, you may find that the showerhead in the hotel bathroom is woefully inadequate. Some hotels make it difficult to get good pressure out of the showerhead. So here’s what you do. Take the showerhead off, so that what you have is more or less a hose/ hosepipe. Usually all that’s involved is a bit of unscrewing. Once the showerhead is gone you’ll notice that there’s way more pressure available.

There you have it. So go to work. And if you found any of these tips useful drop me a line: me@naivelondongirl.com.

Strap-ons, Sex Toys and Up the Arse

"I’m talking about fucking someone up the ass with strap-ons and you can’t even tell me what sex toy you bought!?!"

Wanda and Anjelika chat about: Strap-ons, Mr. MusicBiz, Masturbating, Usually tight sphincters, Vibrating dildo, Anal Toys, Make-overs, Strap-ons, Masturbating, Rimming, Wanda’s Message to the BFE.

168 Hours and counting

168 Hours and Counting

There is nothing as horribly unsatisfying as the state of being horny. This is a state I’ve been in for the past 168 hours.

Of course, there is the old stand-by of masturbation to help “cure” it. But even Green Day noted, “When masturbation’s lost its fun you’re fucking breaking.”

I went to bed horny. I woke up horny. I traveled to work on the DLR and read the Metro horny. This is madness. I can’t remember a time when I’ve had sex on the brain so much.

Thankfully, work pulled me out of my randy stupor. I, along with the rest of my team are working on producing the new series of a reality TV show. The amount of work that this show creates for me is almost insurmountable. God, even the word, “mountable” makes me feel horny.

I had planned on going to the gym after work, but I ended up staying an hour late. I was awaiting a courier delivery of art and graphics for the new tv show. The courier was late, so I missed the gym completely. I finally left the office at 7:45 to meet the Ex for dinner. Never mind that I was due to meet him on Old Street at 7:45.

As I left the office building I noticed Tall Jake waiting outside the lobby chatting on his mobile. He mouthed, “Hi Anjelika.” I gave a quick wave and scurried away.

Tall Jake, if you remember was bloke from work who flirted shameless with me, only to reveal at the end of the night he had girlfriend. There should be a name for guys like that. I’m going to coin a term right here and now. He’s a FAKE SINGLETION. An FS. Eff-ess, or maybe even F-ass.

Spotting F-ass didn’t really catch me by surprise. It was forth time in two weeks that I’ve seen him waiting outside the office. He doesn’t work here anymore so I’ve been able to deduce that either he has a drinking buddy here or he’s dating someone here.

I’m going to guess that he’s dating someone here. He mentioned, when I spoke with him last week, how he was going to dinner. He didn’t say with whom (v v annoying). If he is dating someone here, why not just come out and say it? Why hide behind that fact? Why tell me that he’s waiting for ‘a friend’ if the real answer is that he’s dating Kelly in accounting (or whoever). There’s something shady about him that rubs me the wrong way.

I met the Ex at the Reliance on Old Street. He’s concerned about his expanding waistline so he’s decided to cut out beer and only drink cider. A move that I’m totally convinced of. After a couple drinks we went for Vietnamese food on Kingsland Road.

Whilst we were waiting for our food to arrive a Pussycat Doll’s song came on. Being the music snob that he is, the Ex groaned.

I smiled, “This song was playing in the mini cab on the night of my first date with the BFE. I remember listening to it on the way to meeting him and being so excited about our date.”

“Oh really?” the Ex asked, not terribly interested.

I recanted the whole story of the first date I had with the BFE to my Ex. I realized that as I was telling the story, I was so happy and animated. In telling the Ex about the BFE I was re-living that first date. I was remembering fond memories.

And after all the bad shit that went down between the BFE and me, it’s good to know that some warm memories do exist.

You’ll Never Pull with Your Ex Around Here

You’ll Never Pull with Your Ex Around Here

Ahhhh, Saturday mornings. I enjoy simple pleasures: Light streaming in from the balcony. Petting the dog. Laying comfortably in bed with no need to get up. And masturbating until I cum so hard I have to take nap.

It was a brilliant morning, rather, afternoon. After waking up and using my vibrator to cum twice, it was 2 PM. Where had the day gone?

I had some lunch, took the dog for a long walk then ended up back in bed. I fired up the vibrator again. I orgasmed, fell asleep and woke up 4 hours later.

I wasn’t spending Saturday night in. No way. I decided to go to a club. The question was: who should go with me? Wanda? Another girl friend? The Ex?

I debated hard if I should invite the Ex. On the plus side, we share the same musical tastes. On the minus side, if I take him I’ll never pull – and pulling is half the reason I want to go out. I could go by myself. But that seems so…. desperate.

I did go with the Ex. Funny how when you’re hanging out with the Ex you see tons of good looking guys. The Ex and I enjoyed the music. We had a laugh. We had some drinks. Then we went back to his place.

We watched some telly, and then I made a failed attempt to seduce him. Yes, I was feeling horny and even though his bedroom skills are lacking. Something is better than nothing, right? I don’t want to insult him, but just might be the WFE. (You figure that out!)

So we’re sitting on the sofa watching TV. My head is leaning against his shoulder. My hand is resting on his stomach. Slowly I move it down towards his cock,

“Anjelika!” He scolds me.

“Hey, come on. It’s been ages since we had sex. It was like 13 months ago?”

“Are you counting?”

“No. But the last time we had sex was the day went to the fun fare. And that was sometime last year.”

“You have a bad memory. We had sex like 3 months ago.”

“Huh? Did we. I don’t remember? It was so bad it was forgettable!”

The Ex looks at me annoyed.

“This is not going to happen.”

“Blah! Party pooper.”

I wasn’t mad. Just slightly annoyed and seriously horny.

Giving up Masturbation

Giving up Masturbation

I gave up masturbation last month. (Don’t worry I’m back on it now.) I felt that I had to give it up, though. Every time I masturbated I felt broody. That REALLY freaked me out. I don’t want to head down that road at this point in my life. Better to fight the feeling, right?

Fight the power. Fight the power that be. Elvis was a hero to most but he never meant… uh sorry, sidetracked there.

Every time I placed the vibrator on my clit I felt an overwhelming desire to ride a guy bareback and for him to shoot his load into me!

Now generally, I’m a champion of safe sex. I even have safe sex in my dreams. So it just seems so weird and incomprehensible that I feel the desire to have sex with a guy without a condom. Does not compute.

So here’s the big question guys may be wondering: From the perspective of a woman, performance wise, dose it make a difference fucking a guy with or without a condom?

Short answer: No. Fucking a guy with a condom feels exactly the same as fucking a guy without. I wish I could say that I feel the difference. I just don’t. I can’t even tell if a guy is cuming in me. My pussy can only really guage pressure, size (girth) and temperature.

Anyhow, seems I’ve been able to shake off this broody feeling. YAY! So now I’m back to masturbating. Feels good. One of the big bonuses about cleaning out the spare room was that I was able to find my favorite vibrator.

Despite the fact that I have a new flatmate (hence cleaning out the spare room) she hasn’t been around much. YAY! Leaving me much time to masturbate.

And if you’re curious what sort of vibrator I use. Check out this bad boy:

http://www.goodmans.net/item.asp?n=WH-4120-003&k=WH-4120-003&sc=FRGL

I highly recommend it.

Stiff Lips

Wanda and Anjelika talk about:
Canadians
Dealing with hate mail
Beatboxing
The Trifecta
Valium
Shaved vs hirsuit
Mastubation
Horny and burying the broody feelings
Can you be addicted to sex?

The UK's #1 Sex Podcast
http://www.NaiveLondonGirl.com

Wanda Doesn't Masturbate

Wanda and Anjelika discuss:

- Fanny Butter
- Wanda doesn't Masturbate
- Imitation, the sincerest form of flattery
- Dating Millionaires vs Dating poor guys
- Sex in a MX 5 (Mazda Miata) ?


The UK's #1 Sex Podcast
Naive London Girl
http://www.NaiveLondonGirl.com

Sex and the Ex

Wanda and Anjelika discuss:

- Censorship and Radio Presentors
- Anjelika's latest bedroom action
- Upcoming Brazil Trip
- Falling asleep during Masturbation
- The guy Wanda fancies
- Guys on the Rebound
- Wanda's search for a "Gap-year Guy"
- More about the New York Trip

Naive London Girl
http://www.NaiveLondonGirl.com

The UK's #1 Sex Podcast

Rio: The Case of the Spray Bidet

Rio: The Case of the Spray Bidet

I just arrived in the lovely city of Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. My hotel is what you would call, ‘Tourist Class.” I don’t mind, but it’s weird to think that just last week I was staying at the Ritz. I’m staying in Ipanema (cue music) and my hotel is supposed to be close to the beach. I need to g out to investigate if this is true.

I’m horny as fuck. It must be the heat. It’s 31 degrees C. What is that in Fahrenheit? Eighty something? The whole cab ride here I kept thinking, I hope there’s a shower-head massager.

As soon as the porter dropped off my bag and left the room, I ripped off my clothes. I just wanted to get myself off. I hurried into the bathroom and was surprised to find that there’s no tub. It’s just a shower. And to make matters worse it’s not even a shower head massager. Fuck!

Now I’m going to have to finger myself to off. That’s just more work than I want to do when I’m on vacation. Upon a second glance in the bathroom I noticed something that looked like a spray gun. Is that to spray your ass with water? A spray bidet? I’m confused. I wonder what other purposes it can be used for?

Falling asleep in the Middle of Masturbating

Falling asleep in the Middle of Masturbating

Wanda and I just got back form a mad trip to New York. Everyone keeps asking me if I got laid. Sorry to burst your bubble, but no, I haven’t had cock or any sort of action in at least 3 weeks. I haven’t even masturbated in at least a fortnight.

Yesterday evening I tried masturbating and I was so jet-lagged that I fell asleep in the middle of it. Woke up with a smelly hand.

So yeah I’ll officially label my sex life as boring I hope that doesn’t put you off the blog. But it’s swings and roundabouts. I have had a few offers. I dunno. I should take them up but somehow I’m wary. I’m debating whether or not I should hook up with this hot girl who’s been MySpacing me.

Even though I’m unemployed I’ve been so busy doing stuff. Most of the stuff I’m doing are housework things that I have neglected from when I was working really long hours.

Fucking American Express suspended my account because they don’t believe that I make over £100K (or at least I did when I was employed). I spent most of today faxing them financial data to prove that I’m not laundering money, or whatever they think I’m doing.

I’m getting ready to go on a trip to South America. In my mind’s eye there were 2 weeks between the New York Trip and the South American trip. In reality there’s like 5 days. So I’ve been sort of freaking out in getting everything in order before I leave again.

Being that I’m unemployed I should probably be financially wise and NOT go on vacation. Then again, I’m horny and I need a tan. Somehow financial prudence has gone out the window.

So I say fuck it, you only live once!

Masturbation or Dirty Hair

"It boils down to this: Do I masturbate? Or do I go out with dirty hair? "

So That's How Blokes Do it...

So That's How Blokes Do it...

I feel like I should sort of apologize for the lack of entries lately. Honestly, I haven't had that much action therefore that hasn't been that much to write about. There have been some minor going's on with the BFE. Bumped into him in Camden. It's weird when you bump into someone unexpectedly. But it's also cool. When I lived in New York, I bumped into friends all the time. I used to walk everywhere in Manhattan. So it's not uncommon to bump into your friends as you're walking about.

London is different. This city is so large, I go months on end without seeing friends, let alone bumping into them. When I do see my friends it's because we have planned to meet. Bumping into them unexpectedly, however, almost never happens.

Something mysterious must have been going on that week. I ran into 4 different friends within a few days: Eagle Eye, Ging, Chippewa and the BFE.

EAGLE EYE
I call him that because he always looks like he's scavenging around for food or something. "It's not because of my big nose?" He once asked me. He doesn't have a big nose, but when he wears his glasses he some how looks like a Hawk. Yeah, I guess I could have called him Hawk Eye, but isn't that name already taken?

Statistics (out of 10, best)
Cuteness: 7
Personality: 5
Sense of Humor: 9
Best feature: Eyes, sense of humor
Would I shag him?: In a heartbeat
Likelihood of shagging him: None. His Girlfriend is a friend of mine also.

COMMENT: He has that geeky look that I love. He is sometimes a real asshole, but I think that only attracts me to him more. We'll never shag, but if we did it would be really hot sex. No foreplay. Straight to the fucking. It would be quick and dirty.


------------

GING
Even though he has sort of Ginger hair, he's cute.

Statistics (out of 10, best)
Cuteness: 6
Personality: 6
Sense of humor: 5
Best feature: Eyes, a steely blue color.
Would I shag him?: Yeah, I wouldn't mind.
Likelihood of shagging him: Anything's possible but not likely.

COMMENT He's married and may belong to some religious cult (I hope not). His wife, however is frigid (so I hear) and he looks like he hasn't been fucked in ages. I would also bet the farm that he hasn't had a BJ since the honeymoon. He seems like the kind of guy who may be secretly obsessed with sex, but doesn't do anything about it. Maybe that has something to do with the cult?

He once commented to a mutual friend about how he reckoned that I was hirsute. He's competely wrong: I'm SHAVED down there.

I'm not sure how good the sex would be with him. If we did shag he'd be he type of guy that would be so grateful for any action, he'd probably shoot his load early. There would, however be lots of foreplay. And I bet he would eat me out for hours, which would be nice.

------------

CHIPPEWA
He's got hair down to his ass like a Chippewa (Native American). He's a bit scruffy. A diamond in the rough. Great personality.


Statistics (out of 10, best)
Cuteness: 4
Personality: 7
Sense of Humor: 7
Best feature: Personality
Would I shag him?: Hmmmmmmmmm, prolly not.
Likelihood of shagging him: I'm not interested.

COMMENT: He's a great guy. Not my type.

------------

The BFE
In case you're wondering the BFE stands for the Best Fuck Ever. I call him this because one night when we shagged it was fantastic. I haven't had a shag better than that. You can read about it here.

Statistics (out of 10, best)
Cuteness: 7.5
Personality: 7
Sense of Humor: 7
Best feature: Cock
Would I shag him?: Of course.
Likelihood of shagging him (again): Depends on the circumstances. No imminent plans.

COMMENT: He's got that geeky look that I love. I like to keep his personal details private. He's a good mate and good in bed. Possibly it's a recipe for disaster, but I'm having fun now so why stop?

------------------

Yesterday I ran into Chippewa on tube. At first I wasn't sure it was him. There was a guy across from me who looked like Chippewa but with short hair. I kept staring at him. Finally he looked over at me and I realized it was him. His haircut looks fantastic. His shagability factor definitely went up. We need a re-do:

CHIPPEWA
He had hair down to his ass, but now he's had a hair cut.


Statistics (out of 10, best)
Cuteness: 6
Personality: 7
Sense of Humor: 7
Best feature: Personality
Would I shag him?: Yes, I'd like to try it.
Likelihood of shagging him: Too early to tell

COMMENT: The new haircut did wonders for him. It's like he's had a make-over.

Ok, so on to masturbation.

Last night, my plans fell through. I was going to go to a pub with Chippewa but I had to go home and walk the dog. It was raining by the time I got home and the dog didn't want to go out in the rain. Then I made plans to go for a late dinner with a friend and that fell through. I had nothing to do and I was feeling WAY horny. So I decided to do what blokes do: Download porn and wank off. Or as my best mate, Anne calls it, "Jilling" or "Jilling off" which I guess is the opposite of "Jacking off"

Oh, a side note, Anne broke up with the girl who she was dating who ejaculates.


So I opened up Limewire and I did a search for porn. What kind of porn do I like, you might ask? I like porn that reflects the things that I like to do. I prefer the amateurish stuff. I don't like the professional stuff that shows models with boob jobs. I like the home movies. The movies that show real people doing real things. The staged stuff is just too fake. I do realize that there is some staging in the armature videos, but I like to look at something I can relate to.

I don't like looking at men in porn. I'm not into the sort of Chippendales striptease thing. I get off looking at women. I am very attracted to women. I've had sex with maybe 5 or 6 women in my life.

I remember one day at work a group of us girls went out for lunch. We began talking about sex with other women and it turned out that all 5 of us had had sex with at least 2 other women in our lives. I don't think lesbianism is so uncommon. I guess people just don't talk about it much.

I'm not necessarily interested in having a relationship with any women. I just want to fuck them. I love having my clit licked. Few men do it better than women. The BFE is pretty good at it. Perhaps he was a lesbian in a former life?

So it's not surprising that some of the porn that I like is lesbian porn. I like seeing women do things to each other.

There's one curious thing I don't understand. The women that I see in porn that I find attractive are not the sort of women that I would go after if I were in a lesbian bar. In reality I like women who look androgynous or boyish sort of like Angelina Jolie in Foxfire
In porn, I like femme women. Think Angelina Jolie in Tomb Raider.

I digress... so I like to see real woman on woman action. I searched on Limewire using the following terms:

Tribadism
Clit licking
Doggie Style
Armature
Bondage

I also like seeing men and women fucking in porn. Still I'd have to say that I like the armature stuff. I like seeing a cock entering and reentering a vagina. I like to see guys licking pussy.

What I hate seeing in porn:

- Blowjobs
- Fake Tits
- Skinny Women
- Anything borderline jail bait
- Professionals
- Cum shots
- Blondes
- Men’s faces
- Anal sex
- Men moaning and or using profanity


What I do like seeing in porn:

- Pussy Licking
- Real rounded tits (not the perky ones)
- Women who have curves
- Women who look older than 25
- Armatures. Doing it cuz they love sex
- Brunettes
- Vaginal sex
- Women's faces
- Bondage
- Women moaning and orgasming

I found so many explicit clips. Men fucking men. Men fucking Women. Women fucking Women. Women fucking dogs?!? But in the end, I just ended up fingering myself to a clip of two women kissing. There was no nudity or anything. Just two brunettes sitting on a sofa snogging away. I think I just like seeing the tongue action. I played the clip over and over again while simultaneously using my middle finger to stimulate my clit.

It took me about 8 minutes to come, but I came really hard. Then of course I immediately felt somewhat embarrassed that I had downloaded so much porn. I deleted all the rubbish clips, but I'm keeping 3 quality ones I found for another time.

So I guess this is how you guys do it, huh?

I Wanna Ejaculate, Too!

I Wanna Ejaculate, Too!

Wow, I can't believe that this time last week I was fucking the BFE. Where did the week go?

I have been extremely busy with work all week that there were times that I forgot I was horny. I'm wondering if that's a good thing? Is it really possible to forget your own hornieness. Or perhaps I've been really distracted?

Anyhow, get this: I'm so fucking jealous. My best mate, Anne, lives in New York. She's gorgeous. She's a lesbian. No, we haven't done anything together. We're just mates. If she were some random girl and not my mate of course I would have pounced on her by now. Anyhow... so I got an urgent voicemail from her.

I called her back thinking that something was wrong, but she told me that last night she got her girlfriend to ejaculate. Whoa! I thought that thing only happened in lesbian porn movies. I'm so jealous. I wanna ejaculate! Or even better, I want to make someone ejaculate. Wait, actually, I guess I have made a lot of guys ejaculate. But how cool would it be to have such great skills in bed that you can make a girl squirt. If I had those sort of skills maybe some woman would be calling me the BFE (best fuck ever).

Do you think it's wrong that when she was talking to me about jilling off her girlfriend that I was fingering myself?