Awww, How Sweet

From: http://saulcolt.blogspot.com/



Isn't that nice?

Harry Potter Special

Wanda breaks into the Natural History Museum and meets J.K. Rowling.

Naive London Girl
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Stiff Lips

Wanda and Anjelika talk about:
Canadians
Dealing with hate mail
Beatboxing
The Trifecta
Valium
Shaved vs hirsuit
Mastubation
Horny and burying the broody feelings
Can you be addicted to sex?

The UK's #1 Sex Podcast
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Say My Name, Bitch!

Say My Name, Bitch!

In London, Canadian accents stick out like a turd in a punch bowl. Yesterday I overheard two girls on the Hammersmith & City line chatting. They were backpackers. Canadian. I could tell by the way one of them said, “Watch Oat!”

The girl with the very large backpack said to the girl with the smaller backpack,

“Yeah, but if you give a bloke a nickname he'll never be serious boyfriend material.”

“No, not true,” said the other girl, “What about that Welsh guy you dated last year?”

“Which one?”

“You dated more than one Welsh guy last year?”

“I lived in Wales!”

“For like a month!”

“Six weeks.”

“Whatever,” dismissed the smaller backpacker, “I’m talking about the Welsh guy you dated last year that had the nickname.”

“They all had nicknames. And none of them turned into serious relationships. Which is exactly my point. You can never have a serious relationship with someone you’ve given a nick name to.”

“That’s rubbish!”

Is it? I started thinking about my own dating and relationship life. Could it possibly be true that you can never have a serious relationship with someone you’ve given a nickname to?

I’m in some serious trouble because I give every guy I date a nickname. Wait, that’s not entirely true. Every guy I KNOW I give a nickname to, whether we’re dating or not. A few of the nicknamed include:

Carpenter Dan
Phat Dan
Van Dan
Fast Fingers Dan
Bob, the hairdresser
The BFE
Richard, the Roadie
Hot Rich
Richie Chef
Crazy Simon
Soda Simon
Eagle Eye
M.A.G.M. (the Mysterious Acoustic Guitar Man)

Hey, I'm a writer I like nicknaming people. But now that I think about the great loves of my life none of them have had nicknames. I’ve always called them by their first names.

Maybe giving a guy a nickname it is a way of keeping part of myself private; not facing the truth. Maybe it’s a way of devaluing their worth, e.g. I don’t value them enough to call them by their Christian name. It’s only the guys I’ve been infatuated with in who have received nicknames. The guys that I’ve been deeply in love with I call by their first name.

I guess when I nickname someone, I’m taking one tiny aspect of their life and magnifying it so that at least in my eyes it is their predominate aspect. Maybe that’s the way that I get out of really knowing people. Instead of delving deep, nicknaming them is a way of knowing them on a superficial level. Their nickname becomes a caricature of them.

I think I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve actually called the BFE by his real name. I can probably also count twice on one hand the number of times I’ve called the BFE by his real name to his face. Saying his name to his face seems so weird. So bizarre. It gives the situation a sort of unparalled gravity. Everything becomes so serious. And I just want some light-hearted fun.

Wow, I just answered my own dilemma! It’s rare that that happens.

True or False: I can have a serious relationship with someone to whom I’ve given a nickname.

Answer: False

Reasoning: In order to make a situation less serious I will often give someone a nickname. Nicknames partially mock the individual, but also assures that I only get to know that person on a certain level. I am usually not interested in learning about someone beyond the scope of their nickname. Doing so may invalidate their nickname.

For instance, if I learn that Bob the Hairdresser is an avid scuba diver, the image I have of him as a hairdressers will be ruined. Or if Hot Rich tells me the boring details of his quotidian life he may seem less ‘hot" thereby invalidating his nickname.


Nicknames reinforce a predetermined image in my head. In order to have a serious relationship with someone, I need to break through the superficiality and predetermined image. I need to delve deep in order to find the real deal


So maybe my goal in life is to meet someone who I don’t have the urge to nickname. I’m going to make that one of my New Year’s resolutions: Find someone who is dynamic enough that I wouldn't dare nickname.


2007 is looking good so far. And who would guess that Canadians could make me think so much!