I'm Fucking for Free (So You Wanna Be A London Call Girl?)
Everyone has been hit hard by the recession: Bankers, lawyers, factory workers, etc. There is one profession, however, that never goes out of style: Prostitution; Being a call girl, vice girl, escort, courtesan, concubine. Whatever you call it, it’s getting paid for having sex.
Meet the GirlsI sat down with 3 London Call girls, and their agency representative for a chat. The first girl, Candy, was a blond-haired blued-eyed babe from Eastern Europe. She had been in London for 8 years and worked in health care.
The second girl, Ebony, was a 6 foot tall, thin dark-skinned woman from Nigeria. She had large welcoming eyes, full lips and high cheekbones. It struck me as odd because she could have been model yet she’s gone into prostitution instead. Ebony was university student at a London university.
The third girl, Alice, was also a university student. She was originally from Nottingham. She was buxom size 18UK (14 US) English babe. I was amazed at how plain she was. She was quite pretty but didn’t fit in with my preconceived notions of a call girl. She was the sort of girl that you’d find behind the counter of a fish and chips shop.
The AgencyRichard was the man running the agency. To use the word agency implies that there were many people on staff in a crowded office. Instead, the sense I got from Richard was that he was one-man band: He found the girls. He made the bookings. He checked the identity of the clients. He answered the phones to make sure the girls ‘checked in.’ He set the prices and collected the money from the girls.
He was perfectly nice individual, but I couldn’t help but notice an air of seediness about him, but I could have been projecting how I felt about the situation.
The truth be told, the only way I could get a meeting with the girls and the agency was if I were to pretend that I wanted to be call girl too. What can I say, anything for a story.
Before the meeting with Richard and the other 3 other potential call girls. I was e-mailed a PDF version of a brochure explaining a bit out the agency.
Our Ideal Girls
Our clients have very varied tastes and in general there is no particular type or girl we work. Ages, looks and figures all vary. Generally we work with girls from 18 to 35 and from size 4 to size 20. We want girls who are reliable and easy to get along with.
What is involved in escorting?
Escorting is essentially entertaining men for money. Exactly what you deem as entertainment is down to you. You should bear in mind that most potential clients are interested in a sexual element. If you are not happy with this you may find that you have very few appointments.
Financial information
The exact fees our escorts charge vary from girl to girl and are decided by the escort. Most of our girls earn between £100 and £200 an hour after paying our agency commission, though some do earn a great deal more.
The LawProstitution, under certain conditions is perfectly legal within the United Kingdom. Street walking / kerb crawling is illegal. Brothels are illegal. Controlling prostitution for gain, i.e. being a pimp is illegal. Laws vary slightly in Scotland.
It is legal, however, to exchange sex for money in your own residence, hotel or the residence of the client. It is legal to be an escort without an agency attached. You would basically be an independent contractor.
It is legal to be an escort with an agency, however, the legality of the agency is nebulous; as they more or less would provide the services of pimp. In a court of law, the agency would argue that the escort is being hired for her time and that there was no prior knowledge of sexual activity. Legally, that may stand up in court, but in practice you are being paid to have sex. The agency knows and promotes that.
Why I asked each of the girls why they were doing it. Most of the reasons they gave varied. In the end, it all boiled down to money. They would rather spend 2-3 hours per week being an escort rather than working 8 hours a day sweeping the streets or serving fries at McDonalds.
Alice had mentioned that she really liked sex and that her love life is dry. “Well, I could put up a post on Gumtree looking for a shag buddy. Or I could do this get paid for it” There’s part of me that understood that logic completely. I wondered, if I weren’t doing a story is this something I would be able to do? Could I do it and blog about it? I could be the new Belle de Jour. Hm, possibly not.
MorallyIs it morally dubious? Yes, of course it is. You can’t get around that. Even if the money is great, even if you love what you’re doing there’s a stigma against prostitution. Would you be able to tell your mother that you were a prostitute? What if my co-workers found out? Would I ever be able to be a Member of Parliament? How would my boyfriend feel about it?
What You’ll Have To DoAfter some brief introductions and background on the agency we were given an exhaustive list sexual activities and asked to rate them. We had to rate each activity as to what the likelihood is that we would do it?
- Blindfolds
- Bondage (light)
- Bondage (heavy)
- Bondage (public, under clothing)
- Leather restraints
- Chains
- Ropes
- Harnesses (leather)
- Harnesses (rope)
- Cuffs (leather)
- Cuffs (metal)
- Manacles & Irons
- Gags (rubber)
- Gags (tape)
- Gags (phallic)
- Gags (ring)
- Mouth bits
- Full head hoods
- Mummification/saran wrapping
- Straight jackets
- Sleepsacks
- Spreader bars
- Spanking
- Flogging
- Single-tail whips
- Canes
- Belts
- Leather straps
- Riding crops
- Hairbrushes
- Wooden paddles
- Breast slapping
- Breast whipping
- Pussy/cock whipping
- Slapping/Punching (back, buttocks, chest)
- Strapping (full body beating)
- Hair pulling
- Face slapping
- Vaginal sex (with condom)
- Vaginal sex (without comdom)
- Vaginal sex to completion (without condom)
- Oral sex
- Swallowing semen
- Hand jobs (giving)
- Hand jobs (receiving)
- Anal sex (with condom)
- Anal sex to completion (without condom)
- Anal plugs (small)
- Anal plugs (large)
- Anal plug (public, under clothes)
- Anal beads
- Figging/radishing
- Vaginal dildo
- Vibrator on genitals
- Dilation
- Masturbation
- Fisting (vaginal)
- Fisting (anal)
- Speculums (vaginal)
- Speculums (anal)
- Oral/anal play (rimming)
- Double penetration (oral and vaginal)
- Double penetration (oral and anal)
- Double penetration (vaginal and anal)
- Triple penetration
- Forced homosexuality
- Forced masturbation
- Phone sex (serving Dom)
- Phone sex (serving Dom's friends)
- Strap-on-dildos (penetrated by)
- Strap-on-dildos (sucking on)
- Strap-on-dildos (wearing)
- Group Sex
- Outdoor sex
- Orgasm control
- Sexual deprivation (short term)
- Sexual deprivation (long term)
- Swapping (with one other couple)
- Swinging (multiple couples)
- Threesomes (two male, one female)
- Threesomes (one male, two females
After we finished filling out the form Richard then accessed the activities we agreed to along with our overall look. The goal, apparently, was to make us as marketable as possible. I was quite vanilla in my answers.
Candy and Alice got the highest rates. £300 per hour before commission. I was surprised that Alice got that rate. Apparently there is a lack of authentic English women within the escort world. When they do come about they are paid handsomely.
Ebony’s rate was £200 per hour before commission. Compared to the other girls I was quite jealous. My rate was only £130 per night, however if I had agreed to swallowing cum my rate would have gone up to £150. Damn, my fear of swallowing has foiled me again!
Their CutThe agency takes 25% off the first hour and 10% off the second hour. One a week each girl is to meet with the Agency to deliver the Agency’s cut of the money.
The HoursGenerally, the hours are flexible so that you can work in an appointment after work and on the weekends.
The ClientsThere is a wide range of clients that require escort services. With Richard’s agency you were allowed to pick the type of client you want. For example I could say, “I only want educated Asian men between 20 and 40.” Everyone else would be excluded.
MarketingIn order to get on the agency’s ‘books’ you’re require to have several photos taken of you. Some of these photos must show or hint at sexual activity. These photos are then marketed on various websites. The agency also creates an individual website to promote the girls. In addition to that the agency will put a ‘fake’ post on Gumtree and Craig’s Lists in order to lure in clients.
I felt alright about the call girl thing until it came to the photo part. What if one of my co-workers saw me? What if one of my work clients saw me? The fear of potential embarrassment shook me out of my wannabe-Belle-de-Jour moment.
Richard kindly offered to step in as photographer and take nude pictures of me. He even suggested that I do a shoot with Ebony and that we take some photos together. Sensing the sleaze factor, I made my excuses and left.
I’m not sure if I have what it takes to be a call girl, but does feel nice knowing that If I chose I could be making over £100 an hour. In the meantime, I’ll keep fucking for free.
Labels: Call Girl, Escort, London Lite, prostitution, sex
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