Herpes and the Craig's List Liars
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Herpes and the Craig's List Liars
Ever wonder how many people on Craig List's have herpes? In London the answer is 56. Who knows what it is in New York, San Francisco or Chicago?
I know that there are at least 56 people on Craig's List in London that have herpes because I have surreptitiously been given a list of names and e-mail addresses.
A dear friend of mine, who wishes to remain nameless, contracted herpes years ago from a cheating parter. She's not with the partner any more, however she hasn't had sex since they broke up. With her condition she's never sure how to date or bring up the fact that she has herpes on her dates. It's been so long since she has had sex, that for now, she's looking for something casual.
I suggested to her that she should disclose her condition and try to find someone on Craig's List. After all, that place is a madhouse and caters to everybody! So she ran an ad looking for someone who also has herpes that she can have sex with. Simultaneously, I ran ad looking for a guy "disease and drug free" who wanted to have sex.
At the end of 2 days, my friend and I compared lists. Shockingly, there was crossover. Out of the 56 men who stated they have herpes to her, 6 of them replied to me and said they were disease and drug free. That's just over 10%. So either they were lying to her or they were lying to me. I'm gonna guess that they were lying to me.
Ever wonder how many people on Craig List's have herpes? In London the answer is 56. Who knows what it is in New York, San Francisco or Chicago?
I know that there are at least 56 people on Craig's List in London that have herpes because I have surreptitiously been given a list of names and e-mail addresses.
A dear friend of mine, who wishes to remain nameless, contracted herpes years ago from a cheating parter. She's not with the partner any more, however she hasn't had sex since they broke up. With her condition she's never sure how to date or bring up the fact that she has herpes on her dates. It's been so long since she has had sex, that for now, she's looking for something casual.
I suggested to her that she should disclose her condition and try to find someone on Craig's List. After all, that place is a madhouse and caters to everybody! So she ran an ad looking for someone who also has herpes that she can have sex with. Simultaneously, I ran ad looking for a guy "disease and drug free" who wanted to have sex.
At the end of 2 days, my friend and I compared lists. Shockingly, there was crossover. Out of the 56 men who stated they have herpes to her, 6 of them replied to me and said they were disease and drug free. That's just over 10%. So either they were lying to her or they were lying to me. I'm gonna guess that they were lying to me.
Not only did men lie about their sexual health, but they often changed their marriage / girlfriend status when replying to my ad compared to my friends' ad. One guy told my friend he was living with his girlfriend who gave him herpes and looking for "a bit on the side." When he replied to me, he said he was single. Trying to suss him out I asked him point blank: "Do you have a girlfriend? When were you last tested for STDs? What were the results?" He replied that he was single, had been tested last month and had been given the all clear.
I don't want to condemn anyone who has a sexually transmitted disease. The men that admitted they had herpes to my friend are to commended. They were honest about it. Honesty should be part of sexuality. The filthy idiots that lied about it deserve to rot in hell. If I'm looking for someone "disease and drug free" and they reply to that even though they have herpes that makes them a liar with no regard for my sexual health.
I'm sure those aren't your real names, but lying about your sexual health isn't cool.
-Anjelika
P.S. Ladies, if you ever need me to cross reference your Craig's List hook up for herpes let me know. I've got a list.
I don't want to condemn anyone who has a sexually transmitted disease. The men that admitted they had herpes to my friend are to commended. They were honest about it. Honesty should be part of sexuality. The filthy idiots that lied about it deserve to rot in hell. If I'm looking for someone "disease and drug free" and they reply to that even though they have herpes that makes them a liar with no regard for my sexual health.
- Tim
- Darren
- Broc
- James
- Richard
- Bilbo
I'm sure those aren't your real names, but lying about your sexual health isn't cool.
There was something else interesting that happened with my friend and her Craig's List ad. There were replies form 56 guys with herpes, but she had another 40 replies from guys who didn't have herpes who wanted to have sex with her anyway. I'm not sure if that was creepy or kind.
Some of the men felt sorry for her that she hadn't had sex in while. They offered to help her out with the use of protection. Other guys, she reckoned were just sickos wanting to get laid. She forwarded me one of these replies:
Hi, I saw your ad, and I have to admit, it's certainly unique! At any rate, I don't have herpes, but I wouldn't mind chancing it! I don't know if it matters, but I'm 23. I have to admit, I've a thing for older ladies. Well, I hope I hear from you!
She didn't pick that guy, obviously. But she meet a nice older gentleman with herpes. She said she had a good time and will be seeing him again.
Despite all the lying on Craig's List it's nice to know you can still have a happy ending -- and not the kind in the 'erotic services' section.
-Anjelika
P.S. Ladies, if you ever need me to cross reference your Craig's List hook up for herpes let me know. I've got a list.
Labels: Craig's List, herpes, Herpes List, liars, STD, STI
posted by Naive London Girl at 5/18/2009 11:39:00 PM
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15 Comments:
Very sobering, indeed...while the ways people meet evolve (craiglist vs bars vs matchmakers, etc), some basic tenents still remain - bad people will lie just to be selfish and get off...the key is to find good people who like great sex, and then never let them go...honesty is often a difficult road, since (especially as a guy), we tend to do almost anything to get laid...malibucouple@hotmail.com
Oh wow! That's really scary...I always ask about that stuff and somewhat unsurprisingly I guess, they always say that they're clean...
(worry, worry) Where do you find an honest lover....Anyone?....LOL
Having gone out with two guys who both had herpes, having herpes isn't a condemnable offence. Herpes is not contractable unless the person carrying it has an outbreak - the signs then are quite obvious. One lover I knew for a while did not have an outbreak for two years while another was getting them all the time. I never contracted herpes. I'm not sure how I feel about your post. If you're having a casual hook-up and the herpes is not present, than it's highly unlikely you'd catch it. Best thing is to practise safe sex!
The fact that the guys lied about their herpes is what bothers me. I have no problem with the men who were honest. At least you know where you stand then.
SCARY SHIT!
one word for those hunting around for fuck buddies/swingers/doggers and NSA fun 'condom'
I commend you both for bringing to light this really interesting experiment and thank you for sharing it with the world.
What a bunch of lieing bastards some of us men are, makes me hang my head in shame for having a willy, but then I can hold my head up high and my hand on heart and with all honesty state that 'I've never gone bareback with any such kind and have only done it with my ex-wife and long term GF's '
But does one really know their past history and who they've been with?
Really Scary is that you could do the same thing for HIV+. Also the average person starting a date is probably within the same percentages.
On the prevention front is this piece of news.
What I can't believe about this is that you seemed to be considering having unprotected sex, on the first time with a new person.
Idiot!!!
Got tested on Monday. Waiting for results. No symptoms evident. Just a precaution.
As long as you've both been tested and are honest about the test results there should be no problem. Would you believe a stranger? Would you demand to see the results? That's for you to decide.
As someone who's an HSV1 carrier (if you've ever had a coldsore or scabies you also have HSV1, but it can be transmitted to the genitals, as happened to me), I can tell you right now it's not that simple. People can be carriers for years and never experience any symptoms; others get it once and never get symptoms again; some lucky fuckers are immune. 1 in 5 people are carrying the virus in the UK. In the US it's 1 in 3. Most people aren't going to feel the need to make a big deal about the fact that they get a coldsore once a year on a first date, and herpes is merely coldsores on the genitals.
I'm in a long-term open relationship and we both still have plenty of casual sex. Personally I prefer to be completely upfront with everyone I fuck about it, but none of them have been terribly bothered. The chances of passing it on if there are no symptoms are ridiculously slim. I've had sex without a condom with long-term lovers for years and they've never contracted it, so I think your friend should stop agonising quite so much that she's suddenly a Ruined Woman. If you have a decent amount of casual sex, there's a strong chance you'll have fucked someone who has herpes -- though they might not even know they have it.
Obviously if it's genital herpes (HSV2) it's a slightly different deal, but it doesn't exactly spell the end of your sex life.
also, your standard STD test won't reveal if you have the virus -- unless there are symptoms, in which case they can determine which kind. You have to get a blood test to check whether you're a carrier. When I got symptoms last year the guys I'd fucked over the year previous sensibly all got tested at a costly sum of £150. None of them had it! I can only assume I've had it for years and years. I mean, as a teenager who liked to get drunk, how the fuck would I have known if random people I snogged had coldsores? I didn't, and I don't.
Actually, the rates for having HSV antibodies are 70-80%. HSV1 (facial coldsore type) is the most common genital infection. Check out the Herpes Virus Association for accurate facts (read: not hype put out to sell drugs)
WOW.
Probably one of the most shocking, scary and depressing posts I've ever read.
WOW.
William Wallace left a comment, but I accidently rejected it. (Was using my iPod, fat fingers, blah)
From William Wallace:
I don’t see your findings as being shocking, what do people expect from online dating, especially as far as guys are concerned.
Is there anybody that is into online dating that really tells the truth, from my personal experience most people are not living in the real world and tell lies and talk bull shit as and when required
Whilst I love listening to you and Wanda I do have remind myself frequently that this is opinion, not fact; and therin lies a problemette. You podcasts would be enhanced a zillion times with a small amount of planning and fact checking. Annonymous is correct on that Herpes is so common that if you go to your GUM clinic for a full test of "bad stuff" you won't even be tested for it. The assumption is that you have it. In all likelihood you do but you, like the vast majority, are a carrier. I know this stuff 'cis I go to the Royal Free and get tested every 3-6 months depending on sex regularity and profile in prev few months (so far always clear and I can prove it). Even HIV is harder to get than most people realise. That virus is killed by salvia (not one orally attributed case globally thus far) and by stomach acid. Sperm isn't a carrier of 99.99% of most stds; it's the soft tissue in the shaft. Touching cock heads is riskier than swallowing sperm. Want to check? Go to a GUM clinic and speak to the consultants.
As I say, I love the chitter chatter but I think a teensy bit more planning and fact checking would greatly enhance the show. Think about this: there are numerous comments after your post that "confirm" the fear of infection per your original (skewed) figures. To the naive [sic] stumbling over your post, this reconfirns prejudices which can serve to ostrocise people like your friend. Whereas the facts may serve to enhance her confidence.
Ps I mean it when I say the show is fun
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