Well That was Short-Lived

Well, That was Short-Lived

It hasn't quite been a month yet I find myself single once again. Just to warn you here, this post is going to be one big rant. It's my blog and I'll cry if I want to!

In case you were wondering why I've been so quiet over the past few weeks it's because I didn't want to share details about Pete and me. I think I learned a hard lesson from the BFE debacle: Don't blog about the guy you're fucking if you have feelings for him.

So it's been 4 weeks into my relationship with Pete:

Week one was good. I was merry; so full of hope. I was walking hand-in-hand with him in Islington with a smile on my face larger than the Kool-Aid mascot. My internal dialogue said "Look at me walking down Upper Street. I'm now one of those cool, hip, interracial couples. Envy me."

Week two We had a few problems but was overall good. We spent our first (and last) weekend together. I was excited. I wanted to spend the whole weekend fucking. Pete wanted to take things slow so we spent a LOT of time cuddling. And while cuddling is good and fun, I just wanted to get fucked hard! He didn't want to use condoms (boo). We tried and he lost is erection. He then chastised me for being 30 and not on the pill. Now that I think about it, I should have chastised his ass for being 29 and not au fait with condoms.

His cock (with condom) spent exactly 20 seconds in me. That's all the cock action I got that weekend. Yeah he ate me out, but sometimes you just want cock. I lost count of the number of blow jobs I gave him. Somehow I think he enjoyed the weekend more than me.

Week 3 He went away to his parents house.

Week 4 I went to America to vote. And when I returned to England, Pete had disappeared out of my life. I left a few voicemail messages, sent a few texts and sent a couple e-mails. All unanswered.

I thought it was a myth, but it is the absolute truth: when you have a boyfriend you'll get asked out by more guys than when you were single. Last week, I've turned down dates with 5 different guys, all because I (thought I) had boyfriend. So if Pete's not into me, there's another guy that will be. I just don't want to be stuck in this relationship where I don't know what's going on. Nor do I wish to be a cheater.

I re-read the chapter, "He's just not into you if he's not calling you" which is from the book, He's Just Not Into You Great book, by the way. Re-reading the chapter gave me the courage to send Pete an e-mail telling him it's over. Yes, I know dumping via e-mail is tacky. After sending 6 text and 5 phone messages (left over a period of 8 days) it left me with little choice.

I'm not mad, but what's most infuriating is that I'm being ignored; that he knows I've called him, but he makes the choice not to call me back; or even return a text. That's what makes him the bad guy in my eyes.

So I'm moving on. In a way it's a relief. I hadn't told him about the blog. I'm not sure how I would have worked it into the conversation but I had always thought that I would tell him when the time is right.

He might be able to disappear from my life. But childish behavior will live in this blog forever. And maybe I'll send him this link for good measure.