Return of the Disappearing Boyfriend
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Return of the Disappearing Boyfriend
FROM: Anjelika Jinx (07XXXXXXXXX)
TO: Pete (07XXXXXXXXX)
Hello Darling Hope you’re doing
well. Thanks for giving me the
inspiration for a new chapter in
my book. I’m calling it “Pete,
the disappearing boyfriend.” I’ve
put the first part on the internet
already along with your photo.
Will email you the link. BTW,
I write a blog with a readership
of thousands. I’m guessing you
won’t stay hidden too much longer.
Best,
Anjelika
Two minutes later… *mobile rings*
ANJ: Hello?
PETE: Yeah, what’s all this about with the calls?
ANJ: Uh, you’ve been missing since last Tuesday.
PETE: I talked to you a couple days ago.
ANJ: For two seconds, you said, “I’m on the way out the door. I’ll call you back.” And you never did!
PETE: What? I texted you all weekend.
ANJ: Yesterday was the first text I received from you since last Tuesday. Why didn’t you call me back?
PETE: I’ve been really stressed and busy.
ANJ: But it only takes 2 seconds to text someone back. It would have taken 2 seconds to do that and put my mind at ease.
PETE: I talked to you the other day, yeah.
ANJ: We haven’t had a conversation since last Tuesday. I remember. George Bush was still in power. Why didn’t you just call me back?
PETE: I don’t like being badgered into things.
ANJ: It’s common courtesy to return a phone call, a text, an e-mail. Especially if you’re my BOYfriend. If we were ‘just dating’ then I wouldn’t care. Call me in a few days; a week; a month, But you’re my BOYfriend so I expect a call more than once a week. You didn’t respond to any of my calls, texts or e-mails. What was I supposed to think? You disappeared.
PETE: I didn’t. I was busy, and I don’t appreciate you calling me so much. I have 30 missed calls!
ANJ: Listen, I had written off this relationship yesterday, but I still had a bee in my bonnet about not hearing from you. So I wanted answers.
PETE: Is this how you behave when you don’t get what you want? You’re really freaking me out here. Why would you be like this? It’s really making me rethink things between us. Why would you be so horrible and send me that text message.
ANJ: YOU DISAPPEARED! Was I supposed to sit around and wait 9 days for my boyfriend to call me?
PETE: I’m under a lot of stress now. And we’ve been in contact. I sent you a text yesterday.
ANJ: That’s the first I heard from you in a week. And by the way, how long would I have had to have waited until you returned my call?
PETE: I was going to call you tonight.
ANJ: *rolls eyes* We have very different ideas about dating and relationships.
PETE: Yes. And what’s this blog thing?
ANJ: Oh nothing, just a joke.
###
OK, so I feel a bit like an idiot, but also somewhat indignant. Am I in the wrong ? Of course as loyal followers of this blog I expect you all to take my side. But if I’m wrong call me out on it.
How long should I have been patient? Have I been too hasty? Was I so ready to throw out a relationship? Should I have waited it out? But if I did wait it out maybe he never would have responded? Why would a boyfriend take so long to call?
And in the back of my mind I’m thinking, “maybe I just missed my chance.”
I wish I had the patience of Maggie Gyllenhaal in Secretary.
FROM: Anjelika Jinx (07XXXXXXXXX)
TO: Pete (07XXXXXXXXX)
Hello Darling Hope you’re doing
well. Thanks for giving me the
inspiration for a new chapter in
my book. I’m calling it “Pete,
the disappearing boyfriend.” I’ve
put the first part on the internet
already along with your photo.
Will email you the link. BTW,
I write a blog with a readership
of thousands. I’m guessing you
won’t stay hidden too much longer.
Best,
Anjelika
Two minutes later… *mobile rings*
ANJ: Hello?
PETE: Yeah, what’s all this about with the calls?
ANJ: Uh, you’ve been missing since last Tuesday.
PETE: I talked to you a couple days ago.
ANJ: For two seconds, you said, “I’m on the way out the door. I’ll call you back.” And you never did!
PETE: What? I texted you all weekend.
ANJ: Yesterday was the first text I received from you since last Tuesday. Why didn’t you call me back?
PETE: I’ve been really stressed and busy.
ANJ: But it only takes 2 seconds to text someone back. It would have taken 2 seconds to do that and put my mind at ease.
PETE: I talked to you the other day, yeah.
ANJ: We haven’t had a conversation since last Tuesday. I remember. George Bush was still in power. Why didn’t you just call me back?
PETE: I don’t like being badgered into things.
ANJ: It’s common courtesy to return a phone call, a text, an e-mail. Especially if you’re my BOYfriend. If we were ‘just dating’ then I wouldn’t care. Call me in a few days; a week; a month, But you’re my BOYfriend so I expect a call more than once a week. You didn’t respond to any of my calls, texts or e-mails. What was I supposed to think? You disappeared.
PETE: I didn’t. I was busy, and I don’t appreciate you calling me so much. I have 30 missed calls!
ANJ: Listen, I had written off this relationship yesterday, but I still had a bee in my bonnet about not hearing from you. So I wanted answers.
PETE: Is this how you behave when you don’t get what you want? You’re really freaking me out here. Why would you be like this? It’s really making me rethink things between us. Why would you be so horrible and send me that text message.
ANJ: YOU DISAPPEARED! Was I supposed to sit around and wait 9 days for my boyfriend to call me?
PETE: I’m under a lot of stress now. And we’ve been in contact. I sent you a text yesterday.
ANJ: That’s the first I heard from you in a week. And by the way, how long would I have had to have waited until you returned my call?
PETE: I was going to call you tonight.
ANJ: *rolls eyes* We have very different ideas about dating and relationships.
PETE: Yes. And what’s this blog thing?
ANJ: Oh nothing, just a joke.
###
OK, so I feel a bit like an idiot, but also somewhat indignant. Am I in the wrong ? Of course as loyal followers of this blog I expect you all to take my side. But if I’m wrong call me out on it.
How long should I have been patient? Have I been too hasty? Was I so ready to throw out a relationship? Should I have waited it out? But if I did wait it out maybe he never would have responded? Why would a boyfriend take so long to call?
And in the back of my mind I’m thinking, “maybe I just missed my chance.”
I wish I had the patience of Maggie Gyllenhaal in Secretary.
Labels: boyfriend disappeared
posted by Naive London Girl at 11/12/2008 02:22:00 PM
Digg it
7 Comments:
Bizarrely I've been helping a friend through a similar circumstance. Something I noticed straight away:
"Is this how you behave when you don’t get what you want?", to me is an attempt to turn the problem from him onto you. While reading the rest of the transcript, I'm not sure you bought it, but it's got you questioning yourself in-depth.
Now, I won't say you're right or wrong -- I know neither of the people concerns, and as a reader I'm obviously bias.
Go girl !!
All he is good for is blog & pod material. Consider yourself lucky that this has happened in a short space of time.
"PETE: I’ve been really stressed and busy." is lame - LAME - it means "I don't care".
Use him for inspiration to make you stronger and and and more things.
Keep blogging and podding - I love them both.
One week of not hearing from him is definitely a bad sign. You are right, he should've responded in some way. I'm still hung up on the fact that he blamed you for not being on the Pill! I mean, pregnancy is not the only thing that you guys should be worried about!
If he had apologised & had acknowlegded what he had done, then maybe I would have said yeah ok give him a chance but the fact he says he is busy & then blames you for over reacting. It doesn't take much to call or text. I'd say drop him like a wet shite!! If it's this hard now then imagine what it'll be like in a few weeks of months.
Just started reading your blog & i'm alreaady addicted, keep writing!!!
I think you are totally right to have acted that way! I recently had some one do something similar to me, and then he turned it round as if I had over-reacted. If your guts tell you something isn't right. Then it's not right it's as simple as that!
x
If he's your boyfriend, then in theory you're both there to support each other through good and bad, part of building a relationship. If he'd warned you "I'll be in Siberia for at least a week without any means of communication", then fine.
A relationship is based ultimately on communication. Sex is good, but talking is how you fill in the rest of the time you're not in the sack.
this has happened to me and it is the MOST confusing situation to be in. he is the UK and i am the states. he tells me he loves me, wants a future with me, etc. etc. etc. then disappears. i have had a few missed calls from him. all i can render from the situation is he doesn't have the balls to tell me that he can't be in a relationship with me right now.
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