Why Men Marry Some Women and Not Others

Why Men Marry Some Women and Not Others

About 8 years ago I bought this book called, Why Men Marry Some Women and Not Others by John T Malloy

At the time I bought it I wasn’t interested in getting married. I bought it because I figured one day I’d want to get married so it’s best to have this knowledge about being a marriageable woman. Every two years I re-read this book. And now that I’m focusing on finding a husband I thought it was the right time dust this book of the bookshelf.

“Why Men Marry Some Women and Not Others” uses empirical data to draw its conclusions; meaning instead of coming up with a few hair-brained theories, the book is based off a number of qualitative studies conducted in a controlled environment by the author. The author and his research team interviewed over 3,000 couples coming out of marriage license bureaus in the United States. The results of the study reflect the statistical tendencies of marriage. Although many of the lessons are plain common sense the author has statistical backup for his assertions.

So why do men marry some women and not others? Here’s a brief outline of the book.

The Six Basic Guidelines For Women To Get Married

1. Insist on it.


2. If you find yourself in a dead-end relationship, move on.


3. Love yourself first.


4. Commit yourself to the idea of getting married


5. Keep in shape, watch your weight, and take care of your appearance


6. Time is running out—use time wisely in your search for the marrying man

To maximize your chances of marrying, only date the marrying kind:

1. Most men will not consider marriage before they reach the age of commitment


• For 80% of high school graduates, 23


• For 80% of college graduates, 26


• For college men, the high-commitment period is 28-33


• For men who go to graduate school, 30-36


• After the age of 37-38, the chances that he’ll commit drops dramatically. After 43, it drops even more


• A 40+ man who has been married before is more likely to remarry than an equivalent bachelor is to marry


2. Most men will not contemplate marriage until they have been working and living as independent adults for several years (hence the high-commitment periods)


3. Men become likely to marry after they become uncomfortable with the singles scene a. E.g. They realize that they’ve become the sleazy old guys who hang out at the bars and hit on younger girls


4. Men do have a biological clock, based on their desire to be an active father (especially to their sons)


5. Misc. negative traits and warning signs


1. Men who see marriage as a financial arrangement in which women have the most to gain


2. Men whose parents divorced when they were young


3. Men who live with their parents
4. 
   Other key facts
   
6. Men often marry women whose religion, politics, values, and socioeconomic status match theirs


7. Men whose friends and siblings are married are more likely to marry


• 60% of the newly married men reported that they had a friend who had married within the last year.


• Those men who didn’t have any married male friends were 2-3 times as likely to say that they weren’t ready to marry.


• The majority of men who had seen their friends get married said that if they met the right woman, they’d think seriously about getting married.



8. Avoid stringers, men who string along women but never commit. To filter them out, insist that he commit after six months. Then stick to it, no matter what excuses he gives.



9. Consider unpolished jewels, men who are just as nice, intelligent, hard-working, and successful, but lack looks, height, or social skills.



10. 88% of men over 50 who were marrying for the first time were marrying divorced women. The women told the researchers that they had already tried the tall, suave, type, and he didn’t make a very good husband.

There’s much more to the book, but I encourage you to buy it and read it for yourself. Here’s a link to it on Amazon. http://www.amazon.com/Why-Marry-Some-Women-Others/dp/0446531138