Naive Year Resolutions

1. Be punctual (I am late for everything).

2. Put at least 20% of salary into savings.

3. Buy (another) property.

4. Stop sleeping with married men.

5. Swim 40 lengths at least twice a week.

6. Stop drinking Coke.

7. Drink more water. 2 liters per day.

8. Get a book deal. Become a published author.

9. Set up second bedroom as an office.

10. Don’t buy any more clothes until I buy bespoke closets.

11. Brush dog’s teeth at least once a week.

12. Re-focus on diet. Lose another lose 1.5 stones before April. Then another half stone before September.

13. Keep nails well manicured at all times.

14. Don’t sweat the petty things. Let go of things that don't matter.

15. Go to bed before midnight.

16. Update blog at least one a week.

17. Spend 30-minutes a day writing.

18. Make friends with more girls; a least one a month.

19. Take a two-week holiday.

20. Fuck a celebrity