So That's How Blokes Do it...

So That's How Blokes Do it...

I feel like I should sort of apologize for the lack of entries lately. Honestly, I haven't had that much action therefore that hasn't been that much to write about. There have been some minor going's on with the BFE. Bumped into him in Camden. It's weird when you bump into someone unexpectedly. But it's also cool. When I lived in New York, I bumped into friends all the time. I used to walk everywhere in Manhattan. So it's not uncommon to bump into your friends as you're walking about.

London is different. This city is so large, I go months on end without seeing friends, let alone bumping into them. When I do see my friends it's because we have planned to meet. Bumping into them unexpectedly, however, almost never happens.

Something mysterious must have been going on that week. I ran into 4 different friends within a few days: Eagle Eye, Ging, Chippewa and the BFE.

EAGLE EYE
I call him that because he always looks like he's scavenging around for food or something. "It's not because of my big nose?" He once asked me. He doesn't have a big nose, but when he wears his glasses he some how looks like a Hawk. Yeah, I guess I could have called him Hawk Eye, but isn't that name already taken?

Statistics (out of 10, best)
Cuteness: 7
Personality: 5
Sense of Humor: 9
Best feature: Eyes, sense of humor
Would I shag him?: In a heartbeat
Likelihood of shagging him: None. His Girlfriend is a friend of mine also.

COMMENT: He has that geeky look that I love. He is sometimes a real asshole, but I think that only attracts me to him more. We'll never shag, but if we did it would be really hot sex. No foreplay. Straight to the fucking. It would be quick and dirty.


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GING
Even though he has sort of Ginger hair, he's cute.

Statistics (out of 10, best)
Cuteness: 6
Personality: 6
Sense of humor: 5
Best feature: Eyes, a steely blue color.
Would I shag him?: Yeah, I wouldn't mind.
Likelihood of shagging him: Anything's possible but not likely.

COMMENT He's married and may belong to some religious cult (I hope not). His wife, however is frigid (so I hear) and he looks like he hasn't been fucked in ages. I would also bet the farm that he hasn't had a BJ since the honeymoon. He seems like the kind of guy who may be secretly obsessed with sex, but doesn't do anything about it. Maybe that has something to do with the cult?

He once commented to a mutual friend about how he reckoned that I was hirsute. He's competely wrong: I'm SHAVED down there.

I'm not sure how good the sex would be with him. If we did shag he'd be he type of guy that would be so grateful for any action, he'd probably shoot his load early. There would, however be lots of foreplay. And I bet he would eat me out for hours, which would be nice.

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CHIPPEWA
He's got hair down to his ass like a Chippewa (Native American). He's a bit scruffy. A diamond in the rough. Great personality.


Statistics (out of 10, best)
Cuteness: 4
Personality: 7
Sense of Humor: 7
Best feature: Personality
Would I shag him?: Hmmmmmmmmm, prolly not.
Likelihood of shagging him: I'm not interested.

COMMENT: He's a great guy. Not my type.

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The BFE
In case you're wondering the BFE stands for the Best Fuck Ever. I call him this because one night when we shagged it was fantastic. I haven't had a shag better than that. You can read about it here.

Statistics (out of 10, best)
Cuteness: 7.5
Personality: 7
Sense of Humor: 7
Best feature: Cock
Would I shag him?: Of course.
Likelihood of shagging him (again): Depends on the circumstances. No imminent plans.

COMMENT: He's got that geeky look that I love. I like to keep his personal details private. He's a good mate and good in bed. Possibly it's a recipe for disaster, but I'm having fun now so why stop?

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Yesterday I ran into Chippewa on tube. At first I wasn't sure it was him. There was a guy across from me who looked like Chippewa but with short hair. I kept staring at him. Finally he looked over at me and I realized it was him. His haircut looks fantastic. His shagability factor definitely went up. We need a re-do:

CHIPPEWA
He had hair down to his ass, but now he's had a hair cut.


Statistics (out of 10, best)
Cuteness: 6
Personality: 7
Sense of Humor: 7
Best feature: Personality
Would I shag him?: Yes, I'd like to try it.
Likelihood of shagging him: Too early to tell

COMMENT: The new haircut did wonders for him. It's like he's had a make-over.

Ok, so on to masturbation.

Last night, my plans fell through. I was going to go to a pub with Chippewa but I had to go home and walk the dog. It was raining by the time I got home and the dog didn't want to go out in the rain. Then I made plans to go for a late dinner with a friend and that fell through. I had nothing to do and I was feeling WAY horny. So I decided to do what blokes do: Download porn and wank off. Or as my best mate, Anne calls it, "Jilling" or "Jilling off" which I guess is the opposite of "Jacking off"

Oh, a side note, Anne broke up with the girl who she was dating who ejaculates.


So I opened up Limewire and I did a search for porn. What kind of porn do I like, you might ask? I like porn that reflects the things that I like to do. I prefer the amateurish stuff. I don't like the professional stuff that shows models with boob jobs. I like the home movies. The movies that show real people doing real things. The staged stuff is just too fake. I do realize that there is some staging in the armature videos, but I like to look at something I can relate to.

I don't like looking at men in porn. I'm not into the sort of Chippendales striptease thing. I get off looking at women. I am very attracted to women. I've had sex with maybe 5 or 6 women in my life.

I remember one day at work a group of us girls went out for lunch. We began talking about sex with other women and it turned out that all 5 of us had had sex with at least 2 other women in our lives. I don't think lesbianism is so uncommon. I guess people just don't talk about it much.

I'm not necessarily interested in having a relationship with any women. I just want to fuck them. I love having my clit licked. Few men do it better than women. The BFE is pretty good at it. Perhaps he was a lesbian in a former life?

So it's not surprising that some of the porn that I like is lesbian porn. I like seeing women do things to each other.

There's one curious thing I don't understand. The women that I see in porn that I find attractive are not the sort of women that I would go after if I were in a lesbian bar. In reality I like women who look androgynous or boyish sort of like Angelina Jolie in Foxfire
In porn, I like femme women. Think Angelina Jolie in Tomb Raider.

I digress... so I like to see real woman on woman action. I searched on Limewire using the following terms:

Tribadism
Clit licking
Doggie Style
Armature
Bondage

I also like seeing men and women fucking in porn. Still I'd have to say that I like the armature stuff. I like seeing a cock entering and reentering a vagina. I like to see guys licking pussy.

What I hate seeing in porn:

- Blowjobs
- Fake Tits
- Skinny Women
- Anything borderline jail bait
- Professionals
- Cum shots
- Blondes
- Men’s faces
- Anal sex
- Men moaning and or using profanity


What I do like seeing in porn:

- Pussy Licking
- Real rounded tits (not the perky ones)
- Women who have curves
- Women who look older than 25
- Armatures. Doing it cuz they love sex
- Brunettes
- Vaginal sex
- Women's faces
- Bondage
- Women moaning and orgasming

I found so many explicit clips. Men fucking men. Men fucking Women. Women fucking Women. Women fucking dogs?!? But in the end, I just ended up fingering myself to a clip of two women kissing. There was no nudity or anything. Just two brunettes sitting on a sofa snogging away. I think I just like seeing the tongue action. I played the clip over and over again while simultaneously using my middle finger to stimulate my clit.

It took me about 8 minutes to come, but I came really hard. Then of course I immediately felt somewhat embarrassed that I had downloaded so much porn. I deleted all the rubbish clips, but I'm keeping 3 quality ones I found for another time.

So I guess this is how you guys do it, huh?