If at first you don't succeed...

I’m buying a flat in East London. Trouble is, I’ve only been there once. So I spent last Saturday there hanging out. I returned home to W1 at 11:00 PM. For some reason I was feeling saucy.

I put a post on craig’s list asking if there was any guy who would like to come over to my place and indulge in oral sex. Me receiving only.

Got many e-mails. Selected one. Dude came over. He was cute. Breath smelled like cigarettes. This is a huge turn off for me. We start getting down to business when all of a sudden he has a heart attack or something. Well, it wasn’t a real heart attack, it was some sort of chest pain. He was fine, but lost his erection and will to continue.. He apologized profusely. I honestly wasn’t annoyed at all. I think I was still turned off by his cigarette breath. It was 3 AM by that time.

I was still horny, so I chose someone else from Craig’s List. Dude #2 came over. His breath smelled of cigarettes too but not nearly as bad. I made him drink a bear to wash the bad taste away.

Dude #2 was very skilled. I experienced one of the most intense orgasms ever. I give him 9.5/10.

It was 6 AM by that point.

I was supposed to get up early and go to IKEA. That didn’t happen.